Prue Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 So I met this nice guy at a party and we hit it off and we had sex that night, honestly we both were drunk so I expected nothing after. He contacted me and we went on a date few days later and he said he wants a relationship not just a hookup. The problem is, he just got out of a super intense relationship and breakup 6 weeks ago. He said it wasn’t easy on him and he was bawling his eyes out for days after. (He didn’t flat out offer this information but I kind of probed him.) he only dated her for 8 months so I thought it wasn’t that serious. He says he’s over it and actually wants us to go on a vacation in a few weeks to his winter cabin. He even asked if I want kids one day (not with him, just in general.) He says he’s over the breakup and wants a relationship, should I believe him? He’s so charming and flirty and doesn’t seem sad honestly. I know him and his ex still randomly text and talk on the phone but I’m not sure how often and about what. Also he didn’t mention her at all until I asked about his last relationship, almost like he was pretending it wasn’t there. Any tips?
PRW Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 Congrats! You just found your future stalker! Run!!! Come-on! Wake up!
sour_pikle Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 eeesh, this is pretty close to rebound territory. wants relationship, but out doing drunk hookups with randoms? if he hadn't said all the stuff regarding children and seemingly wanting to move really fast I'd say go for it. however, I'd tread very carefully. I guess all you can do is take people at there word though. Just straight up ask him if he's on the rebound and see if he squirms 1
Author Prue Posted March 13, 2018 Author Posted March 13, 2018 Congrats! You just found your future stalker! Run!!! Come-on! Wake up! Stalker? How come?
sour_pikle Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 I'm also wondering to myself..is this gentlemen perhaps very well off financially (winter cabin) and that may be causing you to ignore some serious red flags?
Author Prue Posted March 13, 2018 Author Posted March 13, 2018 eeesh, this is pretty close to rebound territory. wants relationship, but out doing drunk hookups with randoms? if he hadn't said all the stuff regarding children and seemingly wanting to move really fast I'd say go for it. however, I'd tread very carefully. I guess all you can do is take people at there word though. Just straight up ask him if he's on the rebound and see if he squirms I asked him if he’s moved on and he said he has. He said he made too many mistakes and really hurt her and he was talking to her to get closure but I guess it was getting sexual everytime they talked so he said we tried staying just friends but it didn’t work. Also he already told her about me and that he’s had sex. I guess she told him she still loves him and wants him back.
Author Prue Posted March 13, 2018 Author Posted March 13, 2018 I'm also wondering to myself..is this gentlemen perhaps very well off financially (winter cabin) and that may be causing you to ignore some serious red flags? Not at all. It actually belongs to his parents and where we are they’re very common. I’m just really into him, he has a way with words!
PRW Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 1. A drunken one night stand (stupid all by itself, but hey) 2. Wants a "relationship",....a cabin in the woods (does he have a knife collection and a hockey mask?),...and asking about you having his babies,...and you haven't even had the first real honest date! Are you serious?!?!He "cried his eyes out" over an "intense relationship", that he was "only in for 8 months". Does that sound like a balanced guy who has it all together? It the Ex still alive? Is there a retraining order out on him from her?,...did you check? Holy Mackerel!! 2
Exoticbeauty Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 This is a tricky one. He could just want to take you to the winter cabin for more sex and give you the feel of a "relationship". Then you get your feels involved and you are the one who is hurt. Unless you want to keep hooking up, I'd be careful. Just say you don't want a relationship right now and you ll think about it. Don't get feelings involved so quickly. 1
sour_pikle Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 I asked him if he’s moved on and he said he has. He said he made too many mistakes and really hurt her and he was talking to her to get closure but I guess it was getting sexual everytime they talked so he said we tried staying just friends but it didn’t work. Also he already told her about me and that he’s had sex. I guess she told him she still loves him and wants him back. Alert! Alert! Alert! Warning! Warning! Warning! Get the hint? he's so not over her. you already know the answer to your post. like a previous poster already mentioned...RUN!!!! 1
PRW Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 Prue!! You're banned from drunken parties until further notice!!
Zahara Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 I asked him if he’s moved on and he said he has. He said he made too many mistakes and really hurt her and he was talking to her to get closure but I guess it was getting sexual everytime they talked so he said we tried staying just friends but it didn’t work. Also he already told her about me and that he’s had sex. I guess she told him she still loves him and wants him back. Everything is going at lightning speed. He STILL talks and texts his ex even after their conversations have gotten sexual? Who's to say it still isn't? He just got out of a relationship and is already looking for his next. He's told his ex about you and that he's had sex?! He's talked about marriage and kids. He wants to take you away to his cabin. He has a way with words and is charming/flirty. Smells like bad news to me. 2
Author Prue Posted March 13, 2018 Author Posted March 13, 2018 Thank you for the replies, they’re actually smart and funny! I guess I needed clarifications for what’s going on.. I’m impulsive and he seems that way too.. he said he’s just going with the flow. Also 8 months aren’t really that long right? It’s possible to move on after 6 weeks.. I took less time than that in the past over 12+ months long relationships to move on.
PRW Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 he's so not over her. He's not over anybody because he is never attached to anybody in the first place. He is only attached to himself, and he'll never get over himself. He's a Socialpath. People, particularly women, are objects for his use and consumption. He "cries his eyes out" over the breakup because he didn't get and keep his possession,...that's all it is. He found a new "shiny object" and wants to horde it away to a cabin in the words,...and this time the shiny object is Prue. The "nice guy" thing and the "way with words" is just his skill,...his Game. 1
PRW Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 BTW - You can't tell by my screename,...but I'm a guy. I don't fall for other guy's BS. I see right through it,...I'm immune to it. 2
Author Prue Posted March 13, 2018 Author Posted March 13, 2018 He's not over anybody because he is never attached to anybody in the first place. He is only attached to himself, and he'll never get over himself. He's a Socialpath. People, particularly women, are objects for his use and consumption. He "cries his eyes out" over the breakup because he didn't get and keep his possession,...that's all it is. He found a new "shiny object" and wants to horde it away to a cabin in the words,...and this time the shiny object is Prue. The "nice guy" thing and the "way with words" is just his skill,...his Game. What confused me is why are they still talking? About what? And why would he tell an ex he’s dating and having sex again? I don’t know her but I imagine that must hurt. He said after the breakup she completely cut him off and then contacted him randomly one day and it shocked him but in a good way? Not sure what to make of that.
Popsicle Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 Give it a shot. Tell him you want to date him. Eventually (or maybe sooner) you're going to have to tell him to get rid of the ex if he doesn't do it on his own.
sour_pikle Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 He DOES NOT want to date YOU...he wants to date ANYONE. you're probably not going to take the advice given to you here like most people (I'm guilty of it too)...but 8 months from now when it all blows up in your face come back to this post so you can see the answers were here all along.
Author Prue Posted March 13, 2018 Author Posted March 13, 2018 Give it a shot. Tell him you want to date him. Eventually (or maybe sooner) you're going to have to tell him to get rid of the ex if he doesn't do it on his own. He seems very open to a relationship! He was even open to posting pics together on social media.
Author Prue Posted March 13, 2018 Author Posted March 13, 2018 He DOES NOT want to date YOU...he wants to date ANYONE. you're probably not going to take the advice given to you here like most people (I'm guilty of it too)...but 8 months from now when it all blows up in your face come back to this post so you can see the answers were here all along. I will... I’m really thinking through this, and that’s why I’m sharing more details and trying to find the best way to go with this that will be enough for me to decide. I just really like him so I’m not sure if I should end it or just slow it down?
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 He seems very open to a relationship! He was even open to posting pics together on social media. He could be trying to make the ex jealous. 3
Author Prue Posted March 13, 2018 Author Posted March 13, 2018 BTW - You can't tell by my screename,...but I'm a guy. I don't fall for other guy's BS. I see right through it,...I'm immune to it. Thank you! I appreciate a male’s POV cause men never let us know what they’re thinking!
Zahara Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 He seems very open to a relationship! He was even open to posting pics together on social media. Prue, just because people tell you something, it doesn't mean it's true. Don't be so gullible. Focus on actions. His ex is still very much in the picture. He's moving very fast with you and for as long as I have been on LS as well as through experience, the ones that make lavish declarations off the blocks usually crash and burn pretty quickly. You hardly know each other and he's already wanting to show you off to the world. I wonder if he wants to make the ex jealous. Hence telling her he's had sex and about you. Too much too soon. It's not a good sign. 1
Author Prue Posted March 13, 2018 Author Posted March 13, 2018 Prue, just because people tell you something, it doesn't mean it's true. Don't be so gullible. Focus on actions. His ex is still very much in the picture. He's moving very fast with you and for as long as I have been on LS as well as through experience, the ones that make lavish declarations off the blocks usually crash and burn pretty quickly. You hardly know each other and he's already wanting to show you off to the world. I wonder if he wants to make the ex jealous. Hence telling her he's had sex and about you. Too much too soon. It's not a good sign. You’re right. I just thought it was his way of telling her it’s over and that she should move on, he’s moving on and so should she I believe. Is he lying to me about moving on, or lying to himself? Just so I don’t take it personally.
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