RN2017 Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 I want to know what is the best way to demote someone in your life. I am not bitter and I do not want to come across that way. I just know what I want and what I deserve? And I am not trying to change anybody or make someone see my worth or appreciate me. I have tried to demote them before. They seemed agreeable but then they still called and text wanting to see me. I didn’t even respond to his calls only text message but eventullly gave in 3 months later. Do I talk to him. Ignore him. What? I don’t want us to have bad blood between us. I still deeply care for him and wish him the best in life. I am so lost on how to handle this situation . Any suggestions. He had a good thing here but I guess he doesn’t appreciate it. I think he is to busy in other women faces
todreaminblue Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 can you please explain demoting soemone in your life what that entails exactly...what you want ...what you expect to be an end goal.... what you think demoting someone means....deb 3
PRW Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 I want to know what is the best way to demote someone in your life. I am not bitter and I do not want to come across that way. I just know what I want and what I deserve? And I am not trying to change anybody or make someone see my worth or appreciate me. I have tried to demote them before. They seemed agreeable but then they still called and text wanting to see me. I didn’t even respond to his calls only text message but eventullly gave in 3 months later. Do I talk to him. Ignore him. What? I don’t want us to have bad blood between us. I still deeply care for him and wish him the best in life. I am so lost on how to handle this situation . Any suggestions. He had a good thing here but I guess he doesn’t appreciate it. I think he is to busy in other women faces Demoting, like going from romantic partner to friend,...or from everyday friend to an acquaintance. You were doing that correctly the first time,...but you didn't stick to it. For someone like that a small amount of encouragement goes a long way. This happens because they don't take you serious,...they know you won't stick to what you say. It is like the bratty kid that whines and throws a fit when told "no",...but they know if they just persist that the parents will get tired of the whining and give them what they originally wanted,...so they win,...they keep doing it. You don't have to be mean,...just go back to what you were doing the first time you tried and don't give in. You "giving in" was what went wrong. Go on dates with guys. Just simple casual dating is fine. It doesn't have to be serious. Then this person needs to know you are doing so, but does not need to know it isn't serious. You don't need to tell them yourself or rub it in their face,...let them find out "through the grape vine". Remember that it will take time.
grays Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 Why don't you just want to break up with him? Are you feeling so guilty about the idea of it that you can't even call it what it is? It sounds like he's not treating you well. Why do you need to sugar coat it? You need to stand up for yourself, which would include calling it a break up and then actually doing it. 1
basil67 Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 Your question is too vague. Can you tell us the history, the current situation and what you'd like it to be now? 1
kendahke Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 I want to know what is the best way to demote someone in your life. I am not bitter and I do not want to come across that way. I just know what I want and what I deserve? And I am not trying to change anybody or make someone see my worth or appreciate me. I have tried to demote them before. They seemed agreeable but then they still called and text wanting to see me. I didn’t even respond to his calls only text message but eventullly gave in 3 months later. Do I talk to him. Ignore him. What? I don’t want us to have bad blood between us. I still deeply care for him and wish him the best in life. I am so lost on how to handle this situation . Any suggestions. He had a good thing here but I guess he doesn’t appreciate it. I think he is to busy in other women faces You have to stop doing two things: 1. being a people-pleaser; and 2. making not wanting to have bad blood between you two a goal--because he's not going to like that you're demoting him and that may turn his feelings for you if he can't have his way. Just tell him that you're no longer interested in a romantic relationship with him and you will be giving him space so he can go find someone who wants what he wants--that you won't be answering texts/phone calls. Wish him the best and keep it moving. You're too hung up on trying to manage his feelings when they are not your concern--that's for him to do. 2
Gaeta Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 Have some respect for the men and just break up with them. Have you ever been demoted in a relationship? It sucks! It makes you go through all sorts of self-doubts and it's painful, why would you want to inflict that on someone? Just grab some courage and do the right thing, break up and wish him luck. It's the best for both of you. Remember: Don't do to others what you would't like done on you like demoting and ghosting. Those are the paths for cowards. 6
smackie9 Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 Just my Opinion...If they don't follow the boundaries put in place, you don't demote them, you abolish them from your life...block/delete their number, go no contact. Obviously this person still wants to be with you. Cut them off so you both can move on. 3
Maggie4 Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 Demoting someone is not something you do, it's how you feel. Something changes in your head and that's it. But that change did not happen in you with this guy. That's why you are on a forum asking how to show it externally and fake it. You're not done with him. I think you want to promote him in the future. 2
todreaminblue Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 i dont know about demoting thats for employers to do ...but having people you are with close to your heart and deciding on who is important to you helps....i dont feel anyone should be demoted unless they are not doing their duty in employment...even then....should be shown how to do their duty to their best abilities.......i think honesty goes a long way in sorting issues such as this out as you have this issue ...be honest with him and yourself tell him how you feel what you expect and how you want the relationship to be...if he doesnt agree you then need to decide what you want to do....deb
act00 Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 After a relationship, I don't know that "demoting" is a possibility. This is something you chose, not him, and as long as you communicate, he's going to keep trying. Sometimes you have to not "demote" but "fire." Be done, NC, this isn't going to work, we can't be "just friends." Period. End of story. Later, months, maybe, he may be able to be a "friend" but maybe not if he still holds a flame and still holds out hope...you just can't. You can't string him along. There is no way to escape hurt feelings. If you keep communicating, he keeps hope while you stomp on him consistently while you keep him at arms's length. Is it going to be this situation of "cuddle buddies" and flirting while head out to date a guy on Friday and then tell him all about it on Saturday? That would hurt. If you break up, all the way, and go NC, it will still hurt. You can't have a buddy situation unless you both agree you just don't work out as a couple...it happens...and even then, there are emotions to work through and jealousy. Make a clean break. You can't be friends. No more contact.
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