Abe Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 So my ex broke up with me at the end of May..she wanted to take a "break". So I agreed reluctantly...we're talking to still everyday but not seeing one another...she tells me she loves me when we talk so I think things are going ok. After that she slowly stops talking to me...sometimes not responding to the text messages that i send to her. She said she wanted to take a month off and we'd see where we were after that month. The month goes by...that would have been in the begining of this month. She calls me and says she wants to go out and drink so we go out. We get back to my place and I'm tired for being up early that morning...i'm also a little drunk...she says to go to bed that she'll be up later. Well I fell asleep and she wasn't in bed..went downstairs she was on the couch. I asked her to come up to bed and she did...I woke up a little later again and went downstairs to get a drink...I saw her phone sitting there...I decided to look through it to see what was going on..I know I shouldn't have...but i did. Anyway I found messages from her to another guy...in the messages she was saying to this guy she loved him..she missed him..all this stuff. So I go upstairs..I lay there for awhile and ask her if we can talk...she wakes up and I ask her if she is seeing anyone else. She asks me if I looked in her phone and I told her I didn't. She told me that she has been on dates...but it was nothing serious...so we talk some more...both of us are upset...she's crying..and I'm there with her...from there we ended up having sex. After that she told me she never knew how much I loved her...that she always thought that I got annoyed by her....I went up north for a family renunion and we talked the entire time I was there...she said she missed me and wanted to see me. So when I got home we decided to hang out...she stayed over two days in a row and things were great...at the end of the second day she told me she loved me again that she wanted to move back to this area...maybe even in with me..she was so happy just being with me.....that same night she went back to her house and said she was going out with her cousins and sisters to the bar...they always do that on Thursdays..she said she would call me later I never get a call..I get a text message at 2am telling me that it was a crazy night and a long story and that she would call me tomorrow. So the next day rolls around and I send her a text message..she messages me back and says she is out shopping and would call me when she got home. She never called...she didn't respond to any text messages...I sent her messages all friday night....Saturday I send another message telling her that I'm worried about her...I get one right back that says she is in DC with a bunch of people...and that she was safe... From there she didn't send me any messages...until today...I got one that siad she was back safe at home..if I wanted to know. She said she had a family picnic to go to and we would talk later.. I ask her this time what is going on...have your feelings changed about me AGAIN? She said "no not really...but i came to some realizations this weekend" I asked her to explain and she said she would later..that it was no big deal She says she'll call me..this is tonight...she had something to do so it wouldn't be until late Sorry this is so long I'm lost here...I've never been so confused in my life Help
Art_Critic Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 I'm sorry to tell you guy .. but she is feeding you a whole ton of sh*t and she is banging someone else. ( the messages on her phone tell the whole story ) Tell her to take a walk. Don't let her use you as a backup plan. She must've been fighting with the new guy and that is why you guys got together for dinner. Kick her to the curb or at least try and get the truth out of her before you do .
Author Abe Posted August 29, 2005 Author Posted August 29, 2005 I figured as much its really sad when you're completely honest and open with someone and they lie to your face someone you trust and held in high regard this is the 2nd time in a row this has happened to me i was afraid to date again because i was crushed the first time...which is about 2 years ago i've been with my recent ex for about a year I had a 6 month span or so in no serious relationship and then i thought this girl had it all...I'm begining to lose hope
Neptune Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 I gotta admit, the more I read posts on LS, the more confused I get too! I think I may just book myself a room at a Trappist monastery. Take a break for a decade or so Well, there is definitely other guys in the picture. You know that!
Author Abe Posted August 29, 2005 Author Posted August 29, 2005 i know that....she's 7 years younger than me...she's out having her "fun" she'll realize one day what she had
Art_Critic Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 How old is she ? The reason I ask is that normally the younger the person the more they have a feeling of not wanting to be tied down and want to date a lot of people
Author Abe Posted August 29, 2005 Author Posted August 29, 2005 she's 21...and the thing is when her and i are together she talks about having kids...we we're joking about and she was talking about how cute are babies would be..this was two days ago I'm not even looking to have kids anytime soon but these are the things she brings up...and then this happens...it just makes no sense
Author Abe Posted August 29, 2005 Author Posted August 29, 2005 so she was supposed to call me last night never did said she sent me a text message and fell asleep... yet i neve recieved the message...well i got the one saying she sent a message and fell asleep
upsetnhurt Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 Back off and show her that you have some dignity for yourself. Her actions speak louder than her words and as hurtful as it is you must recognize that she has other priorities at the moment. Don't be there for her as much as you want to. It will not win her heart back....it will only lessen the remaining respect she has for you.
Author Abe Posted August 29, 2005 Author Posted August 29, 2005 i did back off for awhile....that was during out initial break I wouldn't respond to all of her messages...I wouldn't answer everytime she called all that did was make her think i no longer liked her i know i shouldn't want to be with this girl...and as bad as it is for me to be with her i still want to
meltwithme Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Abe stop for a second, in your possition there may be hope, small but existing. First, she is 21, you cannot pressure her at all during this time (I learned the hard way). Do/say the exact opposite of what you want to. Next time you talk tell her "go bang the **** out of this guy and decide if he is right for you, I dont give a damn if your gonna act like this." This will be devistating and almost impossible to say direct but I think if you find the strength to say it without hesitation or tone change it will let her know you are not happy with it without having to say so. That is key. Think of it this way, she will do it anyways if she wants to. edit: Oh wow this is old, srry to dig up the past.
downcydeguy Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Dude, SHE'S 21! You need to read through a lot of posts on loveshack and you'll learn quickly that a girl at 21 is the most selfish, heartless person you'll ever come across. It's seriously a mental change that they go through seemingly overnight and there's absolutely nothing that you can do to avoid it. I'm sorry to say but yes, she's sleeping with somebody else (if not multiple others) and has no desire to be around you anymore. Please do yourself a big favor and walk away with strict NC!!! Sorry to be so harsh but I'm telling you the truth.
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