nme Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 Met a girl at a restaurant right before I left for a month-long vacation. We exchanged numbers that night, and have exchanged texts throughout the month. Now it's been two weeks since I've been back from vacation, and I'm trying to get her to meet up with me for lunch in town. I suggested lunch at a cafe near our school, and she asked if I was available this Monday (today). I tell her I have about an hour for lunch between school and work, and even sent her my class schedule so she would have an idea. However, she then ghosted for like 5-6 days with no texts in between. During that span, it did show that she hadn't been online for 2 or days or so, so it was understandable to some extent. But still a very long time. Then all of a sudden, she sends me a text asking if I'm available on the 29th this month............ I know she's busy with school and work as well, but does this seem odd to anyone else? I mean do people even set up dates 2 weeks prior?? Or is she really THAT busy.....It's quite a long time. Second part of the question is, do I ask for sometime sooner or just agree to it since I'm pretty sure I've nothing planned that day.
alphamale Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 just agree to the 29th and pray she doesn't ghost again 2
OneParadox Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 Agree on the 29th and play it cool. Like no big deal. Just don' expect a whole lot from this girl, does sound like she has plenty of other things going on other than you. 1
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 I would not pursue this. The 29th is in 3 weeks, it's ridiculous. You'd be dating and seeing each other once a month! Concentrate on women that 'want' to date and have 'time' to date. If I were interested in a man I'd 'make' time to see him, no way I'd have him wait 3 weeks. I'd be too afraid he finds someone else. 2
Popsicle Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 I’d just see how it goes. Gauge her interest after the date. 1
Author nme Posted March 12, 2018 Author Posted March 12, 2018 I would not pursue this. The 29th is in 3 weeks, it's ridiculous. You'd be dating and seeing each other once a month! Concentrate on women that 'want' to date and have 'time' to date. If I were interested in a man I'd 'make' time to see him, no way I'd have him wait 3 weeks. I'd be too afraid he finds someone else. I know, right? Good point. But is there an off-chance she's actually just that busy though? Because if she weren't interested, she wouldn't set a date with me at all and just continue ghosting...Idk, I just like to give the benefit of the doubt I guess
Erik30 Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 Go but also focus on other girls in the meantime, so if she ghosts you again you won't care that much. 3
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 I know, right? Good point. But is there an off-chance she's actually just that busy though? Because if she weren't interested, she wouldn't set a date with me at all and just continue ghosting...Idk, I just like to give the benefit of the doubt I guess When I was dating 'dates' came easy to me. Sometimes I had invitations I was not that interested in so I would put them off by 2 weeks and I thought to myself by then if I find someone more interesting I'll just cancel the guy. When I was really interested in someone I made time. I even met someone at 8h00 am before work, sometimes I'd set dates on my lunch time and run around town to meet them. I made time when I was interested. 1
Author nme Posted March 12, 2018 Author Posted March 12, 2018 When I was dating 'dates' came easy to me. Sometimes I had invitations I was not that interested in so I would put them off by 2 weeks and I thought to myself by then if I find someone more interesting I'll just cancel the guy. When I was really interested in someone I made time. I even met someone at 8h00 am before work, sometimes I'd set dates on my lunch time and run around town to meet them. I made time when I was interested. Hmm...I see. So best case scenario, I'm a fallback guy then haha. So since we've been texting for a good month now, should I send some form of text to her asking what's up with this as a courtesy or just leave it be?
smackie9 Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 say sure and plan dates with other women. That's all you can do. 2
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 Hmm...I see. So best case scenario, I'm a fallback guy then haha. So since we've been texting for a good month now, should I send some form of text to her asking what's up with this as a courtesy or just leave it be? No, not at all, you don't owe each other an explanation. You have to decide for yourself is this is the type of 'dating' you are looking forward to. Maybe she is genuinely busy and has no breathing time for the next 3 weeks but again, is that the type of woman you want to date? My suggestion is to continue searching and meeting other women. When the 29th comes around if you are free and have nothing better on your agenda sure you can meet her. I am noticing the 29th is a Thursday. Not only she has you wait 3 weeks but she is not even giving you any of her prime-time. Why is she so busy? 1
Author nme Posted March 12, 2018 Author Posted March 12, 2018 say sure and plan dates with other women. That's all you can do. Say sure and still actually go on the date, I assume?
Author nme Posted March 12, 2018 Author Posted March 12, 2018 (edited) No, not at all, you don't owe each other an explanation. You have to decide for yourself is this is the type of 'dating' you are looking forward to. Maybe she is genuinely busy and has no breathing time for the next 3 weeks but again, is that the type of woman you want to date? My suggestion is to continue searching and meeting other women. When the 29th comes around if you are free and have nothing better on your agenda sure you can meet her. I am noticing the 29th is a Thursday. Not only she has you wait 3 weeks but she is not even giving you any of her prime-time. Why is she so busy? That's what I wanna know too lol, so I was seriously contemplating shooting her a text asking just that. But since you pointed out that we don't owe each other an explanation, I figure I'll just play it cool as some of the other users have suggested I do. Perhaps she's testing my patience? Seeing how I'll react, etc. Either way, I do know to set up other dates in the meantime, just that it seems really odd to ghost for days and then set up a random Thursday in a few weeks out of the blue lol. Plus she works at the restaurant we met at and she's even told me that she doesn't have a lot of classes as well. So it's just very confusing Edited March 12, 2018 by nme
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 That's what I wanna know too lol, so I was seriously contemplating shooting her a text asking just that. But since you pointed out that we don't owe each other an explanation, I figure I'll just play it cool as some of the other users have suggested I do. Perhaps she's testing my patience? Seeing how I'll react, etc. Either way, I do know to set up other dates in the meantime, just that it seems really odd to ghost for days and then set up a random Thursday in a few weeks out of the blue lol. No she is not testing you. I am sorry to be blunt but she is not interested 'enough' to take time to test you. Like I said when a woman (or a man) is genuinely interested they make time. 2
d0nnivain Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 I certainly don't have a crystal ball. I don't know her real motives. You made her wait a month. Maybe, she's playing some kind of tit for tat game. Maybe she is genuinely busy. You don't know her exam schedule or whether she has a paper due. If you have nothing else going on, go on the date. Just don't pin too many expectations on this rocky beginning. 2
Author nme Posted March 12, 2018 Author Posted March 12, 2018 I certainly don't have a crystal ball. I don't know her real motives. You made her wait a month. Maybe, she's playing some kind of tit for tat game. Maybe she is genuinely busy. You don't know her exam schedule or whether she has a paper due. If you have nothing else going on, go on the date. Just don't pin too many expectations on this rocky beginning. Woah, never once thought of it that way...I am mind-blown! In my defense though, I had that vacation planned long before I met her. But yeah, does seem like something she'd do...
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 Is there a specific reason why your mind goes back to 'game playing'? Did she seem like a player to you before this happened? 1
d0nnivain Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 (edited) You had the vacation planned You certainly couldn't ditch an expensive vacation for somebody you just met. If you really think that she's game playing here, then don't wait around for someone who is sooooo petty. Again while the game playing is a possibility, it doesn't negate the possibility that she is genuinely busy. Edited March 12, 2018 by d0nnivain 1
Author nme Posted March 12, 2018 Author Posted March 12, 2018 Is there a specific reason why your mind goes back to 'game playing'? Did she seem like a player to you before this happened? Well shortly after I had left for that vacation, she texted me, "so you left already?" Didn't think much of it then, just caught my attention that someone I had just met would text me something like that. And no, she's the farthest thing to a player in my opinion. Even though we've only met that one night, she just seems to be someone whose really lazy and enjoys being housebound while binge-watching TV shows.
d0nnivain Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 Is there a specific reason why your mind goes back to 'game playing'? Did she seem like a player to you before this happened? I don't think his mind went to game playing until I suggested it. I of course have no reason to think game player vs anything else but nobody else even brought it up as a possibilty. I just threw it out there as ONE possibility. 1
Author nme Posted March 12, 2018 Author Posted March 12, 2018 You had the vacation planned You certainly couldn't ditch an expensive vacation for somebody you just met. If you really think that she's game playing here, then don't wait around for someone who is sooooo petty. Again while the game playing is a possibility, it doesn't negate the possibility that she is genuinely busy. I mean it's a possibility, but it's probably more likely that she's just really busy, or at least wants to portray it, knowing that she's not too social savvy. I guess I will casually ask her what she's up to in order to get an idea what's going on.
d0nnivain Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 I mean it's a possibility, but it's probably more likely that she's just really busy, or at least wants to portray it, knowing that she's not too social savvy. I guess I will casually ask her what she's up to in order to get an idea what's going on. Don't. Just live your life. Confirm the plans closer in time to the 29th & see how it goes but don't talk about it. 1
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 I don't think his mind went to game playing until I suggested it. In his post #13 he was suggesting she was 'testing his patience'. 1
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 she just seems to be someone whose really lazy and enjoys being housebound while binge-watching TV shows. How can she do that is she is so busy she can't spare 1-2 hours to meet you? Has she said why she is busy? 1
Author nme Posted March 13, 2018 Author Posted March 13, 2018 Don't. Just live your life. Confirm the plans closer in time to the 29th & see how it goes but don't talk about it. Got it. So don't talk about it, as in, agree to the date and not ask any questions?
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