RecordProducer Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 I had a buddy who worked as a trial lawyer for a high-powered law firm and he was an OK looking dude but did not want his pic plastered all over the internet Well it doesn't leave a good impression in any case. Seems like the person is ashamed of his actions. If he were on a gay site, I would understand, it's intimacy. But looking for love is not shameful;. But I guess lawyers do lots of shameful stuff as a professional deformity and tend to hide their deeds by inertia.
JS17 Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 so does anyone know any good dating sites? I can't talk to my friends about it, I think they would crucify me.
tanbark813 Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 Match.com is decent. There used to be a ton of fake profiles but I think they're better about weeding those out. eHarmony sucks. It's expensive and you can't do any searches, you can only be "matched". Plus, most of the women on there are fat and ugly. Of course, that last detail probably isn't relevant for you.
alphamale Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 eHarmony sucks. It's expensive and you can't do any searches, you can only be "matched". Plus, most of the women on there are fat and ugly. yeah TB813....I heard the women on eHarmony are so fat that they actually live in 29 dimensions
tanbark813 Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 yeah TB813....I heard the women on eHarmony are so fat that they actually live in 29 dimensions I would agree with that.
JS17 Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 awww, you two are such sensitive men maybe i'll give match a shot. tks
battleworn Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 Plus, most of the women on there are fat and ugly. I take issue with this. Most of the women I've met there are fat or ugly. Very rarely both. Oh, and one was neither, but was 5'11". Good match for me at 5'4". As for photos, yeah I don't trust no pic profiles either. Not that I'm totally hung up on looks, but they are flaky. Gotten e-mails/winks/smiles and they disappear. Just dipping their toes in I guess.
alphamale Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 maybe i'll give match a shot. tks yeah, thats probably your overall best bet...but keep expectations low that way you won't be disappointed
RecordProducer Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 I met my BF on American singles. We've been together in a LDR for a year.
tanbark813 Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 I met my BF on American singles. We've been together in a LDR for a year. You're not American. That's fraud.
Outcast Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 Just about nobody actually looks like their photograph anyway. If humans were two dimensional, you could rely on a photo but they're not.
portableversion Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 if this is what you resort to, then you have already lost. Just be happy being single. Hell, my cousin finally got married to some woman he worked with. After internet 'dating' and 'chatting' for 5 years. Internet dating wastes too much time. You waste time emailing someone for 2 months, whereas if you met them in person, you'd know in a half hour they were a piece of sh*t.
tanbark813 Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 Internet dating doesn't waste time at all. If you go to a bar, you can only meet a handful of people and have to spend some time talking to them before you know anything at all about them. Online, you can skim through hundreds of profiles, then fire off a few emails to those who interest you. If they're interested as well, it only takes a few email exchanges before the first date is set up. Assuming there is interest on both sides, you're talking about a week or two before the first date, not two months. Then you meet in person, having already learned a lot about the person's basic background, and can then go on to decide if there is potential for more. And the bonus is that all of this can be done at work in between actually working. A waste of time? No way. It's much more time-efficient.
battleworn Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 2nd that opinion. But I'm in a good mood, since I'm going out with someone on Fri who I really like. 2 weeks of e-mail, that's it. Even if it's a bust it's a pretty good return on investment. On the other hand, I just received an IM attempt from this person: JANET RAYMOND AM A VERY COOL, SEXY,GENTLe lady.am very beautiful and real.am a open minded fellow.i love shhoping and like having fun with my sweetie. Location: Aba Ode, Oyo, Nigeria
Author NewLee40 Posted August 30, 2005 Author Posted August 30, 2005 I do think its much better to keep the phone and email chatting to a minimum if you make a match. I recall having marathon phone sessions or emails with guys and it created a sense of premature intimacy that was hard to live up to in real life. If you match with someone, meet them as soon as is feasible. On the other hand, I don't really think it necessarily increases your odds of finding the right person just by virtue of the fact that you are exposed to more people. You get exposed to lots more kooks, and its really hard to separate the good from the bad. I might give eharmony another shot if my matches want to engage with me, but I'm not pushing it. Otherwise, I'm just going on with my life and maybe I'll meet someone special the old fashioned way.
Art_Critic Posted August 30, 2005 Posted August 30, 2005 I think you great newlee.. I'd do ya .. I think you should put your pic up.. I wouldn't hesitate to answer someone with your pic. I will say though that you might put a full body shot up as well..or at least half body
kitkat826 Posted August 30, 2005 Posted August 30, 2005 I'm on match and have dated two guys. The first lasted three months, and this second guy is now going on its fourth week. In both cases we met in person within two weeks. Going too long before meeting is definitely dangerous, IMO. You create all these fantasies about what the person is like, what your interaction is like, what you will be like in the future, etc. Two people interacting on a physical (and I don't just mean sexually or physically intimate) level is very different then through cyberspace and phone. Chemistry is real, and can be hard to predict. Again, I don't just mean sexual chemistry; I believe all people interact on some chemical, or unspoken level that has sexual, emotional and intellectual dimensions. You only get a feel for this from repeated, person to person contact.
MySugaree Posted August 30, 2005 Posted August 30, 2005 Yeah, it's easy to pick out the hookers. Online dating is simply a way to meet people. I've been on Match for 2 months and I've had 2 dates.While not unpleasant, there was no chemistry. I'll try again this Thursday. Hope springs eternal...
Author NewLee40 Posted August 31, 2005 Author Posted August 31, 2005 Well, I had not heard anything from my other match since I posted a picture. So, I wondered if perhaps he'd closed me out. I logged in, and sure enough, he had. His reason? "This match has not responded to my request for communication" WTF? I never got a request for communication. Either he's full of crap, or something went wrong with the eharmony email notification system. Either way, there's no way to know because I'm closed and have no way of communicating with the guy. Whatever. I don't know what to make of this whole eharmony thing anyway. Sure, it sounds like the ideal solution when the nice old guy introduces you to all the couples who instantly connected after jumping through all the hoops to actually get to talk to eachother. But, my experience has been different. For one thing, I think there are more women on eharmony than men. I gathered this from one of the eharmony guys I dated because he said he got tons and tons of matches, while I only got a handful. Since we were deemed compatible by the magical personality profile, then I can only assume that there are more women out there like me and fewer out there like him. Maybe that's just a snap shot of the true dating odds anyway, who knows. But, what I do know is that the above guy was not compatible with me at all. We dated off and on, but it was quite obvious he was a woman hater. Hmm... maybe that IS what I'm compatible with. Woman haters. I sure married one and just broke up with one. Food for thought. Another one I dated came on really strong and we did seem to be compatible in every way possible. We clicked, had a great time together. But, after our second date when he stuck my hand in his crotch and I didn't respond appropriately (I didn't smack him, I just politely declined) there wasn't a third date. He just stopped calling. When I tried to contact him a couple of weeks later to see what was up, he basically blasted me for being "pushy." Two almost rans were one guy who seemed somewhat compatible, but before we got a chance to meet, he'd met THE ONE and they were married less than a month after their first meeting. I just don't know what to say about that. The other one, we'd talked on the phone, seemed pretty compatible, but then before we got a chance to meet, he called to say he'd ran into his ex gf and they were going to "talk." He would call back, he said. But, he never did. That was my eharmony experience. I won't EVEN go into my match or yahoo experiences. OMG.
battleworn Posted August 31, 2005 Posted August 31, 2005 I won't EVEN go into my match or yahoo experiences. OMG. Oh come on, give it up. We're all paddling the same boat here.
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