silver04 Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 So my ex broke up with me last Tuesday. Towards the end he felt more like a friend than boyfriend as the passion just wasnt there like it used to be. I still have feelings for him but not sure if Im actually in love with him. I do want to be friends but I told him I might need some space for a while. He texted me good morning the following day and I responded back. I probably shouldnt have and decided to go no contact. He text me on Friday morning and again later that afternoon, but I ignored both messages. I deleted my social media so I havent been active on that. Saturday night he texted me again and said he needs to know that Im okay. I havent responded. My question is should I? Should I send a quick "I'm fine"?
primer Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 Personally, I would not respond. He broke up with you. What does he care? Note: I may be bitter. :-) 1
d0nnivain Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 NC is to help you heal & move on. Since you already said he felt more like a friend & you aren't all that emotionally wrecked as a result of the break up, being kind to him & replying with 2 words, "I'm fine" is no big deal. If you were sitting here crying that you still loved him & that you desperately wanted him back, then I would tell you not to follow the bread crumb.
marky00 Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 NC is to help you heal & move on. Since you already said he felt more like a friend & you aren't all that emotionally wrecked as a result of the break up, being kind to him & replying with 2 words, "I'm fine" is no big deal. Don't really agree with that. Saying "I'm fine" is an admission that there was a possibility you may not have been fine. Why would you want to give that ego boost to someone who kicked you to the curb. Even if I didn't care at all, I wouldn't give the dumper that pleasure. The end game is "indifference" so why not just act like that now, whether you are at that stage or not. We don't always achieve indifference but the saying of "fake it till you make it" has some truth to it. 2
d0nnivain Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 Because I think the OP is already indifferent, I think offering the kindness of a response to somebody who reached out won't hurt the OP.
marky00 Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 Furthermore, There is nothing cruel about ignoring a dumper. In the long run NC is the best gift you can give yourself and the dumper. It might sting them for a while but in the long-term they will learn to respect you for it. 4
breadbin Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 I'd ignore him. He probably cares about you. He probably didn't want to hurt you but in the end he probably wants to relieve the guilt he is feeling. It's probably more for his benefit than yours so with that in mind don't text back and look after yourself. Note there are a lot of 'probably's in that advice. i agree with marky there about nc being a gift. What I wouldn't give to be back where you are so I could hold my head high instead of falling apart. 1
sunandbutterflies Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 Sorry to hear of the heartache of the breakup. I would not contact him for a while. I have heard that it helps to break off communication and connection with them for a little bit. I am glad that you are not on social media and will not have to deal with that. It takes time to heal for sure. It might be a good idea to speak with a counselor or join a support group. It can be a good idea to surround yourself with other good people and to focus on personal growth. I hope that helps!
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