Targetlock Posted March 11, 2018 Posted March 11, 2018 Hi all its been quite since i posted anything but here goes nothing! So okay at the end of last year i was set up by a friend via Facebook with a family friend we ended up chatting and really hit it off and last month we went on a date we went out for a dinner (i paid of course) and it was really great with good chemistry and we kissed at the end. I'm sadly still waiting on a second date as she is unwell ATM and is unsure when she will be well enough for another date though she does still seem interested. this has left me in an awkward limbo where I'm not sure when and what will happen and i don't hear from her as often as i used too its causing my anxiety to flair up and play with my thoughts. I'm trying to remain calm through this and much prefer going through this than when i was single! I've finally met someone in the last 3 years i feel i have a real connection with and now I've sadly got to wait some more to see what happens! the joys of dating indeed
SevenCity Posted March 11, 2018 Posted March 11, 2018 Hi all its been quite since i posted anything but here goes nothing! So okay at the end of last year i was set up by a friend via Facebook with a family friend we ended up chatting and really hit it off and last month we went on a date we went out for a dinner (i paid of course) and it was really great with good chemistry and we kissed at the end. I'm sadly still waiting on a second date as she is unwell ATM and is unsure when she will be well enough for another date though she does still seem interested. this has left me in an awkward limbo where I'm not sure when and what will happen and i don't hear from her as often as i used too its causing my anxiety to flair up and play with my thoughts. I'm trying to remain calm through this and much prefer going through this than when i was single! I've finally met someone in the last 3 years i feel i have a real connection with and now I've sadly got to wait some more to see what happens! the joys of dating indeed She sounds like low interest. Not being sure when she's going to feel better and less contact is womanease for "I don't want to date you". The good news is there are women out there who do. Focus on them. 2
Flame Aura Posted March 11, 2018 Posted March 11, 2018 Unwell as in shes stuck in hospital/in her bed all day and/or can't socialise, or she's just not feeling her best and doesn't know when she will be? A month is a pretty long time to wait between 1st and 2nd dates. 3
Author Targetlock Posted March 11, 2018 Author Posted March 11, 2018 i trust her she is recovering from withdrawal symptons from coming off of medication and is dealing with a lot atm. i did chat with her earlier and reassured me that she isn't messing me around and if she felt that thinks weren't working or going to happen she would do that in person (never had a girl break up with me in person) she hopes to get better soon as she is looking forward to seeing me again i just need to be patient and see what happens, though this limbo of not knowing when kind of sucks.
ChatroomHero Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 Move on. This is why stringing along works. She seems nice, you have a good time, follow up communication seems fine...no 2nd date and you liked her and she seemed to like you so you trust she won't lie or be a db and string you along. When you ask if she is interested she will say yes, I'm still talking to you so obviously I am interested, I would tell you if I wasn't...If she wasn't interested she would do exactly that too. I bet if you ask about her day or check her facebook she probably is not too sick to go out with other friends, run errands, have dinners with other people and things like that, but not feeling good enough to meet with you. She doesn't dislike you enough to want to necessarily never talk to you or tell you off. So it's easier and she won't feel as bad if she just lets it fizzle where you hopefully realize it's been 6 or 8 months down the road and you haven't had that 2nd date and just kind of let it go. 1
d0nnivain Posted March 12, 2018 Posted March 12, 2018 Wish her well & multi-date. She will remain on the back burner because she has to deal with her own detoxification which can take years. Meanwhile you go out & enjoy life with women who are well enough to meet you. If you find somebody great. If you haven't by the time this lady recovers, then you can have your 2nd date. Right now with her health issues, you can't put your life on hold. For all you know she'll fall in love with one of her care givers or somebody she meets in a support group.
Author Targetlock Posted March 13, 2018 Author Posted March 13, 2018 multi-dating really isn't my style tbh :/ I'm just going play it calm and casual and see what happens.
d0nnivain Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 multi-dating really isn't my style tbh :/ I'm just going play it calm and casual and see what happens. OK. Then date one other person. But my main point is don't wait for her to get well & be available. She may never get there. 1
Exformer Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 I'm glad that you're feeling good and confident now that you had a date with this girl... ...but I feel like you've invested a lot of emotion into this girl way too soon. You've only been on one date. You claim you felt a real connection, which is good, but don't rely on that as being anything more than it is. If things don't work with this girl, I'm afraid its going to feel way more soul crushing than it really is. I mean, one date and you hardly know her. Remember that. The recovery thing sounds suspicious, but either way, it sounds like she isn't going to to be available as a dating option for a while. So if you date someone else, you won't be multi-dating, as that other person will be the only person you are seeing. You won't be doing this girl wrong, because you aren't in any form of relationship with her. This will also help with your anxiety. The more you relax and don't build things up to anything more than they are, the more you will enjoy dating...and the more success you'll probably have at it. 3 years is a long time to go without feeling good about anyone you've dated. So, I am glad you're in the place you are, just be careful going all in before you know what you're getting into. 1
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