Loveydovey101 Posted March 11, 2018 Posted March 11, 2018 I talked to this guy online for like 2 days and over that time we really connected and it was nice. Talking about how much we like eachother and everything. We go out on this amazing date where we have a nice picnic kiss and cuddle. We get home and rave about it to Each other. The next day he is in town and we go out again, same amazing date and connection. However we weren’t RAVING as much as we were the first date. But still very cute messages. This next day we’ve been snapping throughout the day however it’s very surface level. Like I want that sappy cute **** like we had. He very much wants a future with me as he has said it. I do this with every person. I don’t know if it’s all in my head, if I’m overreacting as usual, like do I just take a chill pill and wait three days till our next date. How do I deal with anxiety? Guys have just abandoned me in the past and i think that’s where this fear comes from..
grays Posted March 11, 2018 Posted March 11, 2018 (edited) It has been less than a week since you guys had your first contact? You don't know each other at all and neither of you should be talking about or planning to spend your lives together. Maybe one way to keep your head together would be to think about what you want/need from a partner and think about what you'd need to see from him to know if he can be/do those things for you. For example, a deal breaker for me would be a serious temper. I don't want to ever be in a situation where I allow myself to be vulnerable with a man who purposely hurts me. I've been with my current boyfriend for six months. Im not sure I'd say that box is difinitively checked. I can't imagine him being the type to be purposely humiliating or violent or mean. But we've never had a real fight, so I'm not really sure. He did get upset with me once and didn't talk to me for a whole day, ignoring my texts and calls. We did talk it out that night in a way that seemed relatively healthy. But I am a little worried that that's his way of dealing with things. It was a horrible day for me and I'm not sure I could handle that if it was something that was a normal way we related to each other. I'm still a little worried. And he doesn't really know me either. I'm not showing off my "issues" to him and I have, in fact, been wondering how that's gonna work. Am I gonna sit him down one day and tell him that I have $150,000 in law school debt because it's not something that I ever bring up casually? He probably has no idea about that -- and I promise you there are things about this guy that you'd never expect. And maybe those things will be okay, but it will take time to know that. These (and lots of others) are issues that can't really be sorted out in a week or a month. Remind yourself, this is all fun in the moment but you're in the discovery phase. Edited March 11, 2018 by grays
I'veseenbetterlol Posted March 11, 2018 Posted March 11, 2018 Be VERY careful here, I personally think you are jumping the gun on this and you could end up super disappointed. When I was talking to guys online, I would tell them that I want something serious w/someone one day, not specifically them. I had one guy talk about marriage before we 1st met, he ended up hurting me a lot cause he dropped me when I wouldn't give him sex. Its not normal to talk serious life stuff w/someone you haven't even met. What if you aren't attracted to them or What if they have a bad temper etc etc, Be cautious.
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