MajesticUnicorn Posted March 11, 2018 Posted March 11, 2018 Hey all - I wanted to see if anyone had any experience dating within a small town. While I have never really lived in a big city by any means, I’ve moved from a town with a population of a couple hundred thousand, to a town that has a population of maybe a thousand? (Give or take, there’s always a ton of tourists here and seasonal workers) I have been here for about 4 months-ish. My main focus is making friends still, but thankfully I have found a group to hang out with. However, I have recently found myself interested in two guys. I know multi dating is a very normal thing, and people do it all the time. I had no issue with it where I lived prior. But now that I’m in a small town, it’s hard. We have a ton of restaurants, bars, etc and fun stuff to do....but I always end up seeing someone I know everywhere I go. It seems like everyone knows everyone’s business, and it sucks. It doesn’t help that my boss told me when I first moved here to be careful about who I talk to and to not get around. (Yup, she said that. I know that’s an HR nightmare, but that’s another story.) Last night I was having a drink with one of the guys I’m interested in. Of course sitting at the bar is a coworker of the other guy I have also been hanging out with. She said she was just working with him and I laughed it off. But seriously it’s so uncomfortable! I feel like I’m doing something wrong or “getting around” just because I am going on dates... Anyone have experience with this? I don’t know what to do. I would rather drive 30 minutes to the next big town over, but that seems a bit excessive just for a date!
mammasita Posted March 11, 2018 Posted March 11, 2018 Use Dating apps!!!!!! Be willing to travel a bit. How far is the biggest city? I'd probably make it a point to go maybe once a month if possible.
stillafool Posted March 11, 2018 Posted March 11, 2018 If you live in a small town you have no other choice but to travel 30 minutes to a larger town to meet people. 30 minutes is not that long.
Author MajesticUnicorn Posted March 11, 2018 Author Posted March 11, 2018 Meeting people isn’t my issue, it’s the multidating in a small town and having to deal with the drama that surrounds that.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 11, 2018 Posted March 11, 2018 You're gonna have to get used to traveling to date. I don't even live in a small town and have had longish relationships with men who live an hour away. If you are not willing to do this, you might want to reconsider living in a small town.
alphamale Posted March 11, 2018 Posted March 11, 2018 Meeting people isn’t my issue, it’s the multidating in a small town and having to deal with the drama that surrounds that. multi-dating in a small town where everyone knows everyone else's business is going to be tough. you might quickly be labeled a **** or worse yet a *****
mammasita Posted March 11, 2018 Posted March 11, 2018 Meeting people isn’t my issue, it’s the multidating in a small town and having to deal with the drama that surrounds that. so adapt to your surroundings. don't multi date there.
Fair Posted March 11, 2018 Posted March 11, 2018 (edited) This is the worst, I know how it feels. Dating sites won't be a quick fix either, unfortunately. You might hang there for years... Dating in small towns might be okay if you and the one you are dating present a unified front wherein you both agree to keep everyone... and I do mean everyone... family and friends included, out of your business. But you have to be very strict about that. People you know tend to look for cracks so they can push you apart, and the more people you know personally that are surrounding you, the worse it is... It is only you and the person you are dating who can make it work, so it's vital you be of the same mindset. Multi dating in a small town however, is never going to work. Edited March 11, 2018 by Fair
Recommended Posts