IDB_2017 Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 I have a coworker who I think is attracted to me. We don't actually work with the same line manager or have bearing on each other's work, but we work in the same department. I sense her attraction towards me: from the start of working, she struggled to maintain eye contact with me, she usually acts like 'one of the guys' but is very quiet around me, when we have talked she is always asking me questions, turning the conversation towards me, bordering on sussing out if I am in a relationship, has complimented my intelligence pretty full-on, she has touched my arm a few times when it wasn't strictly necessary, has smiled at me when speaking. I am attracted her physically. Quite a lot in fact. I am not sure whether our personalities would be compatible from what I know of her so far - she seems to lack self-esteem to the point that she can act quite attention seeking and immature around those she knows, and then even a bit defensive around those she doesn't know. She may just be socially awkward. And then at other times I find myself really interested in what she is saying and quite impressed by her personality - often when she is not around certain people. This post is a bit of me just venting I guess, because I am finding it a bit distracting at work! I know that dating a coworker is potentially more drama than its worth. I also know that having two people potentially sexually and romantically interested in each other AND into each other's personalities is a rare thing, and this could be a good opportunity for both of us. Any advice? Feel free to talk me down! Link to post Share on other sites
Flame Aura Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Any advice? Feel free to talk me down! Instead of posting on here you should be asking her out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IDB_2017 Posted March 10, 2018 Author Share Posted March 10, 2018 Instead of posting on here you should be asking her out. If she wasn't a coworker, I probably would have by now! Link to post Share on other sites
Flame Aura Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 If she wasn't a coworker, I probably would have by now! Nice excuse. Why does it matter she's a co worker? I met a girl I work with. I asked her out, she accepted but said she never mixes pleasure with work. That they would have to be really really really special for her to change that view. Few months later.. she's now my girlfriend as she found out how special I am. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 I have one thing to say about this: DON'T GO THERE. Coworkers are not friends, let alone lovers. It's easy to think that they are friends because you spend more time with them than you do anyone else, but from someone who made these mistakes, don't go there. Have a network of friends and acquaintance outside of your job and keep it that way, and don't talk about them much no matter what the situation is or is not with any of them. Here are three scenarios that may help you to learn from ... 1) Creepy IT Guy - This was about 15-20 years ago now, at my first job. I was friendly with an IT guy on my floor. He would not leave me alone and it was my mistake to be friendly at all with him. He kept giving me his phone number, I never called or contacted him outside of work. One day it was so bad that I reported him, he never spoke to me again. I bet he never hits on women after that at his job. 2) Passionate coworker who loved Jesus - This didn't happen to me, but a former boss of mine. A few years ago she told me this story, to this day I'm not sure why she did. She said at her first teaching job many years ago she saw this guy there who was also a teacher there. There was an instantaneous attraction between her and him, she said she never felt such an animal attraction between her and another man. I sat there thinking "I wonder why she's telling me this", and "Then what happened?". Did he feel the same way? I don't know, because she said she went to church and prayed on the matter a lot to resist this temptation. I was like "Oh ... Huh." She said this bothered her to such a degree that she was being tempted to do such a bad thing that she left that job for another so she wouldn't have to see him again. I always thought that was odd that she shared that with me. 3) My story of the coworker crush - I have posted on this before in other threads. I had a crush on a coworker at my first teaching job. I put a present in his box annoymously. I got his phone number, and I texted him after I was no longer working there "Want to hang out?" He texted me back "I am not interested in you romantically." I erased his number, never spoke a word again, and that was that. I'm still damaged from it. But I never have to see him or anyone else from that job ever again to relive the embarrassment. Don't take the risk. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Give it time....the infatuation will wear off and you will wonder what you saw in her. You are getting all giddy because you are getting attention. Link to post Share on other sites
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