I need relantionship advice! I'm so confused! Story inside please help me!

[countrygirl_07]

Me and my now ex boyfriend were together for 11 1/2 monthes. I'll be 16 on the 1st of Sept. he's 19. I love him, but he called me one night and said that he wants to take a break because he wants me to know what's its like to be single and date around. Then the next night he called me and said its over for good and was really mad at me. What had happened was.......about 3 weeks ago he spent everyday all day and night with his friend who lives just up the street from me. Sounds good right he would come by and see me more and talk to me on his cell phone some....WRONG! I was hardly talking to him he was being a butt to me on the phone.

So i was lonely and bored at night. One of his best friends is my good friend too. We were talking online and flirting, but we always do that and he knows and doesn't mind. Well his friend told me that he liked me but it didn't matter because I was going out with his friend so me and him were just friends. I told him i might like him to but that he was right that we are just friends and that I love his best friend. Well the night after we were taking a break he was at his best friends and found that conversation on his friend's computer (he was supposed to erase it but didn't.) So he's hurt and I can totally understand.

But I do kinda like his friend and we have always had this hidden thing between us and so I want to talk to him and go out with him a couple of times just to see if there's anything there. He has a girlfriend but he's told me he told like her that she annoys him. He even told me a month ago that if he could find some one else he would dump her fast. Well me and him talked online Thursday night. He told me that he doesn't know how much he likes me because he has only been around me when I was with my boyfriend so he was going to call me more and be around me so he could find out. He even said that he was going to call me Friday night. One I'm afraid he only lusts me, but he says he doesn't. But Friday night he didnt call me so i called him and he acted like he didn't want to talk and said that he was going to bed.

Well I found out that my ex had been with him that night at a football game and I'm scared that my ex was there when I called and was trying to talk to him online cause I left him a message saying "hey sorry for calling but I just thought u wanted to talk to me tonight". A part of me says not to feel bad or be scared because he did dump me, but I just don't want to hurt him. But I don't want this other guy to just lust me and not acutally like me so I'm really confused!!!

 

Sorry it's so long.

[fvlball54]

these are my thoughts, u dont love your ex. if you loved him, then you would have never flirted with his friend, and you wouldnt have feelings for his friend. what to do about your ex? well, he dumped you, so that means he doesnt want to be with you. so, my advice is to leave him alone. there is a 3 year difference in your age, and at this stage in your life, everything is totally different. what to do about his friend? is he 19 also? well, if he is, he probably just sees a 16 year old girl (which equals easy and really excited to date older guys) and wants to screw around with you. being a guy, i can tell what goes through a guys mind. i am 19 also and i also dated a girl who was 16 when i was 18. i found it easy to get into a relationship with her because she was excited to be with a senior in highschool who had some money and a nice car. i was something she could brag to her friends about. the sad thing is, almost all guys think that way. so, be careful with this best friend of your ex. he might only want to mess around. ask him questions about his feelings for you. then, you can make a decision about his intentions. try to interpret his answers and make a conclusion. if you need help interpreting, then just reply right here, i'll check back at a later time.

[fvlball54]

btw, love is a VERY strong word. dont just throw it around. and i dont know if people know what love is at an age like 16. i sure as hell didnt know what it was until about 9 months ago. and i'm halfway through college.

[Blackard]

So i was lonely and bored at night. One of his best friends is my good friend too. We were talking online and flirting, but we always do that and he knows and doesn't mind. Well his friend told me that he liked me but it didn't matter because I was going out with his friend so me and him were just friends. I told him i might like him to but that he was right that we are just friends and that I love his best friend. Well the night after we were taking a break he was at his best friends and found that conversation on his friend's computer (he was supposed to erase it but didn't.) So he's hurt and I can totally understand.

 

 

What is there to be confused about? You were flirting with some other guy. The guy you profess to love, found out and dumped you? Now you are chasing that guy, who is just after you for sex.

 

The plot is pretty clear. Your intent is pretty clear. The mistakes you are making are obvious. The only question here is what lessons you walk away from this mess with.

[ElizabethH]

OK young lady---

A 45 year old mom type here. I think you have to listen to the information that the other two guys gave you. The only thing I can add is that young men are not meant to be candy in stores for you to choose from. You can't pick up a baby ruth and then put it down and pick up a reeces and then pick up the baby ruth and not be able to decide between the two. People are sweet but not candy. They have feelings. When you love a man you can't flirt with another man....kind of a life rule. By the same token, you must not allow a man to see you as candy to gobble up and then throw away the wrapper.

 

Most everyone deserves love, depth and honesty. I say that you write a list of all of the things you've learned from this experience. Read that list a few times. Then stay away from both boys. Find out about your gorgeous self... explore life outside of the boy realm. Boy, if you learn lots of cool stuff from this experience, you'll not have to go through tough lessons when you're older. YOU GO GIRL!