Keepingitreal Posted March 9, 2018 Posted March 9, 2018 (edited) Hello Forum! I could really use some of the wisdom and insight from this awesome community! Last night, went out with “R”. We had been chatting, mostly on the phone for about a week before we met. Had great phone conversations. Our date was nice. Went to dinner, had some wine. Good convo. After dinner, we went for a stroll. He then walked me to my car. Gave me a hug and a peck on the lips. Today, he texted me in the am, and called me in the evening to check how my day was. He asked me out for this Saturday. I agreed. Here in lies my question, after I agreed he then suggested that maybe I would like to have him over and cook dinner. I was quite taken aback. I sort of mumbled that it may be best if we go out somewhere. I used my niece, who is living me as an excuse why having dinner here is not a good idea. We left it at us getting together Saturday night. No difinitive plans. Am I right to be put off that he would suggest a home date when it’s only our second date?? Should I just forget this guy? What would you do? Thanks in advance! Edited March 9, 2018 by Keepingitreal Changed title
d0nnivain Posted March 9, 2018 Posted March 9, 2018 Yes you are right to be put off. What he was asking you is will you pay to feed him so he can have sex with you. If you otherwise like him & he took no for an answer, go on this 2nd date but be prepared to pay. See what his next move is.
losangelena Posted March 9, 2018 Posted March 9, 2018 Wow, that's a lot of assumptions on his part! That you'd want to invite him into your home AND cook for him. Jeez. I didn't cook for my ex until several months in. 2
Gaeta Posted March 9, 2018 Posted March 9, 2018 (edited) Absolutely a turn off. In all of my dating experience, and it's considerable, each man that invited himself over to my place for a 2nd date turned out to be a player. If you are curious and want to go on a second date with him go ahead but keep in mind he has already shown 'red flags' of someone that's out for fun. Men should never invite themselves over (for a first time). If a time comes and they want a home date they should make an invitation to their own home. A man needs to wait for a woman to come up with a home invitation to her home, every man that has been taught some common courtesy knows this. Also, this indicates he's done making efforts to impress you after only 1 meeting. He wants to eat and have sex with you but put no effort into it by dumping on you the cooking and the expense of the cooking. I would be so turned off I'd lose all interest in that man. EDIT: And on top of that he left Saturday (tomorrow) with no fixed plan? Drop him, don't bother. Edited March 9, 2018 by Gaeta 2
Maggie4 Posted March 9, 2018 Posted March 9, 2018 It's awkward that he suggested it, but some people invite themselves. I have no problem feeding a man on a second date if he paid for the first date. Some men live alone, can't cook, and don't eat very well. So I'd feed the guy. If you are uncomfortable having him in your house, you might suggest a picnic out and you bring the food. If you don't like him then don't bother going out on a second date at all. Oh wait is this OLD again? That might be different. I don't know about that.
Gaeta Posted March 9, 2018 Posted March 9, 2018 Oh wait is this OLD again? That might be different. I don't know about that. There is no difference between online dating and meeting a random stranger live. They don't know each other, and it's improper for him to invite himself over to a woman's house. If they had seen each other a few times and he hinted he'd like to be invited I'd forgive him but he met her once. On top of that when she said she'd prefer to go out he leaves her hanging with no fix plans. This guy is a player and an opportunist.
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