CherryBlossom1980 Posted March 7, 2018 Posted March 7, 2018 Hi everyone, I've been seeing someone for a few months now and I would say it's getting serious. The guy I'm seeing is French, and I am noticing a big difference in dating styles! Over the past few weeks he has been saying things like ' Sending you some love' 'Wishing you lots of love' etc etc and last night he sent me a message just saying 'love you' I didn't really know how to respond to that one. I was a bit taken back as I thought he would have said it in person. But we are in a long distance relationship so sometimes he just says things as he feels them. I said Love you back to him, but I don't really know if he actually means ' I love you'? I just saw it as an affectionate thing maybe so not taking it seriously. Any thoughts?!
d0nnivain Posted March 7, 2018 Posted March 7, 2018 He sounds like he's one of those people who throws the word around casually, like I love ice cream. Until he says it to you while staring into your eyes in a romantic setting don't assume it means anything serious. 4
hippychick3 Posted March 7, 2018 Posted March 7, 2018 My bf did the same after a few months of dating. He casually threw the word "love" around for a few weeks ("That's what I love about you," "I love when you do that," etc.) until one night he TEXTED "That's why I love you." I then TEXTED back asking if he was saying that he loved me, and he replied yes. That was my first "I love you." After that, he did say it the next time I saw him in person and now says it all the time. That first time can be hard for men, and it may be easier to say it for the first time in a text. What matters is he verbalized it in some way and now observe how he interacts with you in person.
stillafool Posted March 7, 2018 Posted March 7, 2018 He sounds like he's one of those people who throws the word around casually, like I love ice cream. Until he says it to you while staring into your eyes in a romantic setting don't assume it means anything serious. Yeah, he sounds like me. It means nothing if he's not looking at you and actually saying "I'm in love with you".
Author CherryBlossom1980 Posted March 7, 2018 Author Posted March 7, 2018 Thanks, I think this is his way of leading up to it. Maybe making sure I feel the same way as he does before he says it! I'm travelling to France next week to see him so I have a feeling he may say it then! I will see!
iVisa Posted March 7, 2018 Posted March 7, 2018 It's hard to say what does it mean... But I think he can feel it. Just wait and see if he will say it in person.
carhill Posted March 7, 2018 Posted March 7, 2018 Dating a few months. Long distance. So, how's the sex? For a guy, a guy who's healthy to 'fall in love', sex is a part of that. Part of his bonding, presuming he's not in it solely for the sex. How's it going? That would help a bit understanding his progression and meanings.
Gaeta Posted March 7, 2018 Posted March 7, 2018 Is he fluent in English? In French we have no word for 'like' so when we speak we use the word 'love' for everything. He could also be hinting that he'll say the big I love you soon. My bf started by saying things like I love this woman so much, or that's why I am so much in love, before finally saying I love you. 1
d0nnivain Posted March 7, 2018 Posted March 7, 2018 It may be a leading up to it thing . . . . seeing how the word feels rolling off his tongue. I do think language (no word for like in French) & a casual attitude toward the word love play a part in it though. Again, take it all in stride until he says it in person in an unmistakable way.
FilterCoffee Posted March 7, 2018 Posted March 7, 2018 Until he says it to you while staring into your eyes in a romantic setting don't assume it means anything serious. Even that’s easy! If he tells you that after hearing your bowel movement then you know he means it.
Author CherryBlossom1980 Posted March 7, 2018 Author Posted March 7, 2018 He came to the UK a month ago and the sex was great, we are still obviously learning what each other likes etc but I feel very comfortable with him. And no I definitely don't feel it's just about sex for him, I have a young child so he hasn't chosen the easy option at all. Plus he is going to a lot of effort with me, so I know this is more than just fun. His English is almost fluent, he gets a few words mixed up! But I have heard that French move a lot quicker then English guys? Not sure if that's true or not, but it would be interesting to see Gaeta if there are any big difference I should look out for, because I am finding it very different to dating English men! He has started saying love a lot more recently and I'm pretty sure it's deliberate. He has put together a large itinerary of things we will do when I go to France, one of which is to meet his best friend. So I have a feeling the love card may possibly be used then. But if I don't hear it, then that's fine too! I'm happy to wait. It's a lovely feeling to just know someone really likes you x
carhill Posted March 7, 2018 Posted March 7, 2018 IMO, if you sense he loves you and his actions support that sense, take the words for what they're worth and keep showing up. Also, as a bit of a caution, I recall how strong things could feel when doing the long-distance thing and how emotions flowing out of making love were in some ways different. At the time I wrote it off as the person but with plenty of years to reflect I think it was more the dynamic and my own emotional state in such a LDR type deal. A kind of openness not as easily felt. Part of it was different culture, part was language, part was definitely the older doctor and her fur coats Anyway, enjoy the ride. It's lasted a few months. It could last a lifetime. Never know. 1
Gaeta Posted March 7, 2018 Posted March 7, 2018 His English is almost fluent, he gets a few words mixed up! But I have heard that French move a lot quicker then English guys? Not sure if that's true or not, but it would be interesting to see Gaeta if there are any big difference I should look out for, because I am finding it very different to dating English men! He has started saying love a lot more recently and I'm pretty sure it's deliberate. There are come cultural differences but like in any nationality there are some men that fall faster and others that take their time. My bf took 5 months to tell me ILY but we are older (50) so more patient in the matters of love :-) One thing for sure they love to sweet-talk! and if you're not used to dating a man that covers you with compliments each day you will have a cultural shock lol. If your guy is keeping in touch, if he's making plans to see you , if he keeps his words then you're in good hands. 2
littleblackheart Posted March 7, 2018 Posted March 7, 2018 (edited) I'm French and I second Gaeta on the smooth-talking; French men certainly know how to do that! It doesn't mean they are more casual or throw the L word around easily at all. We'd normally only use the equivalent of the L word in French for people we really care about (I only ever say it to my kids, very rarely to other people) and we'd use qualifers for other things (words like 'quite' or 'really'). You say he is near fluent in English, so he knows what he's doing. It does look like he's building himself up to say the actual words in person and is testing the waters to see if you feel the same way. Enjoy your time in France!! ----------- [Adding] I agree with carhill too that the long-distance can heighten the feelings - not that it matters, if you feel it, you feel it! Edited March 7, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Merge 1
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