AnnieHonson Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 Hey y'all, first time poster here! So I've had a fair share of guys flaking on me before a first date, and the conversation kind of fizzling out after that. That being said, I've also had guys that showed up and were very eager to continue talking to me. More often than not, they show, but I just can't help but feel paranoid right now. A guy asked me out last week, but I couldn't make it to the time he wanted to meet up so I suggested something for this week and he agreed. We're supposed to meet up this weekend, but I'm worried that, since the date is relatively far away, he might forget and make other plans that ends up with him bailing on me. At the end of the day, I know that this is very inconsequential and it doesn't matter in the long run, but I'm still very nervous at the present. Does anyone have any signs they look out for for people who will flake? Or is anyone else going through the same thing that they want to share about?
Gaeta Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 Why did you have to delay meeting him an entire week? If you cannot meet within 5 days then it's because A) you live too far B) your schedule don't coincide Both these reasons indicate the relationship won't last anyway.
d0nnivain Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 The delay doesn't bother me as much as it bothers others. Since it's still a few days away, stay in touch but make it a point to touch base & confirm the day before. If you don't get confirmation, don't go but don't fret about it. You worrying won't affect his behavior.
act00 Posted March 7, 2018 Posted March 7, 2018 After having been stood up and the last minute bail, usually when I confirm ahead of time we're still on, I have my fair share of worry about being flaked on when a date is planned out too many days in advance. It helps to have some communication in between. If you haven't nailed down specifics, this can be a reason to touch base, where you can look up some places between you and him and make suggestions. I've had this happen, neither of us really knows where, as neither of us get out much. If he's noncommittal on place and time, it's generally a warning. There's no answer here but to just be and try not to fret. You take a chance. Expect him to be excited to meet you as you are him, and he'll stick to the plan. Call/text and confirm beforehand. If you're highly suspect, plan some errands to do on the way home, so you don't have to deal with them later, so as not to make it a complete waste. I need to make special trips for a couple things, so planning to make a stop when I'm in the area is always good. Signs? I'm not sure. Sometimes I just have a "feeling" he's just not so into it. I don't know what alludes me to that, although kids and being a "busy" person can set off warnings. Not having specifics in mind and being resistant to suggestions can be a sign. It can be normal to not know exactly where at first (day and time determined), but he should be open to where and making suggestions as well. I ask for major crossroads upon meeting on OLD. Distance is an issue for me, so I ask, and this means I can plan someplace in the middle if I'm looking at places. I guess overall, when I've felt someone is flaky or might bail, it's just a general "feeling."
Zippy2000 Posted March 7, 2018 Posted March 7, 2018 Why did you have to delay meeting him an entire week? If you cannot meet within 5 days then it's because A) you live too far B) your schedule don't coincide Both these reasons indicate the relationship won't last anyway. You can NOT push people to meet within 5 days. It comes across as overly keen and desparate. People like to meet when they feel comfortable and a time that suits them To help the posters question. Its hard to find some signs as I ve had women flake on me on the very last hour! You just have to keep talking to them to see it the conversations fizzle out. One the women I had an online date with and it was her first ever date. She actually phoned me in the morning and spoke to me to ensure it was on. I have NEVER flaked on anyone before but the women who have either show signs of disinterest or don't reply or answer your calls. 1
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