clueless_4ever Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 I went on a date with a guy I met through tinder. We had a great first date that lasted all day and I ended up hooking up with him. It was all really fun and we both said we’d do it again. He told me he was leaving on a business trip for a month. During that month, he never contacted me at all. Now, he texted me that he got back and wants to see me. I told him I was free all weekend. He told me he wanted to see me after my class at 9pm. I took that as he wanted to hook up so I told him I wanted to get to know him so we should meet another day. But he told me he didn’t mean it that way so I agreed to meet with him anyways that night. And when the time came, he said he was too jet lagged to meet. We texted back and forth for a little and then he stopped replying to me. How should I Interpret this? I just find it suspicious that he didnt text me at all while he was gone.
Miss Spider Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 (edited) Sounds like he was booty calling but changed plans Edited March 5, 2018 by Cookiesandough 2
ThisisIt606 Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 sounds like he was hopping for a booty call after you 9pm class but didn't want to admit it when you asked. A basic summary is: 1. You met once and hooked up 2. He goes away for a MONTH and doesn't contact you 3. He returns and wants to see you late at night. 4. when he finds out he's not having sex, he backs out of the "date" and doesn't reschedule He's just looking for sex. Don't let him use you, say tata and find someone else who has something of substance offer rather than some jet lagged loins. 2
newyorker11356 Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 Yeah, if I liked a girl, there's NO way I'd go a month with no contact. Heck, it'd be hard to go a day or 2 without contact. 2
Author clueless_4ever Posted March 5, 2018 Author Posted March 5, 2018 Thank you guys for confirming my thoughts! I just wonder why whenever I call a guy out for trying to booty call they try to change their answers and make me seem like I was crazy. Oh well, on to the next one!
CardsFan01 Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 Pardon my ignorance, this is probably due to me being too old, or too far removed from being single, but does “hooked up” = sex? 1
Maggie4 Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 Pardon my ignorance, this is probably due to me being too old, or too far removed from being single, but does “hooked up” = sex? I think so.
Maggie4 Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 He just disappeared after sex, you had no idea he'd contact you a month later, so what you had was actually a one night stand, which is less than a booty call. He reappeared randomly and only momentarily. You did not meet up. So what you have is still a one night stand. 2
alphamale Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 He just disappeared after sex, you had no idea he'd contact you a month later, so what you had was actually a one night stand, which is less than a booty call. He reappeared randomly and only momentarily. You did not meet up. So what you have is still a one night stand. ^^^this^^^
act00 Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 He's not into you. He's hoping for a hookup (sex) whenever the wind blows him in your direction and/or you're available. He's not up for serious dating or long-term. He ditched you for a month. When he was back in town (doubtful he was truly gone this whole time, and communication is pretty fast and reliable despite state lines and even oceans), his motivation was less than stellar when you pulled back and tried to establish something less sexual and more "date" or "serious.". He wants a booty call. Don't bother unless you're okay with a ONS or a booty call every 2-3 months when no one else is available. You interpret this as he just wants sex. Sorry if his Tinder profile suggested otherwise.
rightondude Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 Pardon my ignorance, this is probably due to me being too old, or too far removed from being single, but does “hooked up” = sex? either that or they went deep sea fishing 3
JDJ Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 Pardon my ignorance, this is probably due to me being too old, or too far removed from being single, but does “hooked up” = sex? "Hooking up" is one of the phrases that I can least stomach of all of the recent changes in the dating/relationship climate. "Having sex" is a normal human biological process that may or may not involved feelings. "Hooking up" to me sounds like "he put his prong in my socket" and is disgustingly mechanical. It just gets to me that this is used like a euphemism when it functions in the opposite way for me, as a way of highlighting the physical actions and body parts involved in copulation. I'd much prefer people said, "then we copulated" than "we hooked up" 1
caveman621 Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 Thanks for the epiphany JDJ! For some reason, I just always saw "hooking up" and it meant hooking up -- sex. I never thought about the mechanical analogy to it. Huh.
losangelena Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 Thank you guys for confirming my thoughts! I just wonder why whenever I call a guy out for trying to booty call they try to change their answers and make me seem like I was crazy. Oh well, on to the next one! F***boi is as f***boi does. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ That's the nature of their game. Just keep calling them out. Works as a-hole repellant. 1
kendahke Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 Pardon my ignorance, this is probably due to me being too old, or too far removed from being single, but does “hooked up” = sex? It means anything from holding hands to wild sex, depending upon the age of the person using the term. As far as I'm concerned with adults, hooking up always means "we had sex".
Versacehottie Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 Thank you guys for confirming my thoughts! I just wonder why whenever I call a guy out for trying to booty call they try to change their answers and make me seem like I was crazy. Oh well, on to the next one! When you call a guy out on a booty call, their answers change because: A) They like to keep telling themselves that they are a decent guy who wouldn't use a girl--and you are pointing out that they do--so they try to negate it to keep up their own personal fantasy of what type of person they are. B) They want to keep the door open for future booty calls and "i don't knows". C) They really don't want the drama of admitting that yes indeed it was a booty call. A lot of guys can be really practical. It is what it is and you should know it. Also in your case, it seemed like you were down with that by the first time you saw him. D) Even though they are ALSO participating a lot of guys who booty call a girl, don't have much respect or think that the girl is particularly smart nor has lots of real "DATING" choices, thus she will settle for and accept a booty call in hopes of getting a guy interested--that's what they believe. Thus it will color most of their interactions with you--calling for a late night date, expecting a yes, skating out of having a real date and backtracking when being called out for the booty call. A guy is going try because he has already formed an opinion of where and how you fit into his life. He doesn't mind too much looking like an idiot because he doesn't really care or respect what YOU think because he has little respect for you. E) A lot of the time the guys who booty call are using a totally different set of criteria than you are for evaluating what women are in their lives and for what reasons. Maybe he is career-focused or recovering from heartbreak and just wants a little female attention now and then. A booty call fits the bill if he has a willing participant. But is not trying to get to know you because that is not his goal--he is looking for temporary, specific and somewhat non-connected emotional female attention. Different set of criteria than you probably so they way he deals with things will be different.
CardsFan01 Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 It means anything from holding hands to wild sex, depending upon the age of the person using the term. As far as I'm concerned with adults, hooking up always means "we had sex". Back when I was younger and single, I would have interpreted hooking up as fooling around, but didn’t quite make it all the way around the bases. As it pertains to this discussion, I’m certainly no saint, but whenever someone had sex with me on the first date, I didn’t see them as girlfriend material. I didn’t really mean it in a bad way, I just figured they were more looking for fun, and obviously weren’t as selective. Or maybe I was just irresistible......
LuckyM Posted March 6, 2018 Posted March 6, 2018 He just used you (and you him) for sex. That's all. It's over.
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