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Back After A Year's Break To Find Some Answers...


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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Posted

Hello again,

 

Hope all is well. The last time I had posted on the guy at the time I was dating seemed to totally vanished without a trace.

 

We were I guess having a good time, but something seemed a missed. Anyway, after our vacation together he vanished for reasons unknown.

 

A year later, today, I just received a message from Snapchat that he has added me.

 

Can someone please clue me in what makes a guy reach out to you after a year's absence?

Posted

I would say he possibly wants to 'hook up.' I advise not to reach out any further than to accept the friend request. He may message you, maybe not.

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Posted

Thanks, Millie!

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Posted

Life's too short to waste on people like this.

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Posted

He is not worth your time, he obviously uses you and when he doesn't need you, he throws you away, then comes back again. Go complete NC, vanish w/out a trace.

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Posted

The second time around is not necessarily going to be any different. Who knows what prompted him to add you and connect. You seemed to be in a descent relationship and you vacationed together, so there are good times and good memories and a potential friendship. It doesn't mean he's interested romantically anymore, but it could mean it.

 

The question is where you want to go with this. Would you be okay being social media friends, like with some of your high school friends or distant relatives you don't really see, ever? Would you entertain seeing him again romantically? Go ahead and add him. Otherwise, I don't see the point. He missed his chance. If he's reaching out due to wanting another try, you have to be very, very careful about protecting your emotions and keeping expectations low. Like I said, the second time around is rarely different, and you said something was amiss the first time (you're not sure what it was, I'm assuming)...a lot can happen in a year and maybe he's changed, but don't hold your breath. To completely vanish without a trace is just not good.

Posted

It doesn't really matter why he's back in touch, does it...

 

When people show you who they are, believe them.

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Posted

As others have said, it doesn't really matter, but I can think of a few reasons:

 

  • Thought you were someone else
  • Added you using SCs mass add tool
  • Feels guilty
  • Thinks he can get laid
  • Added by friend, GF, or kid
  • Accidental click
  • Who cares

 

Dude sounds like a complete loser. I've ghosted someone before but it was mostly accidental (my fault but not really intended until I realized I was already an Ahole) but doing so after a vacation? Not a good person.

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