LK123 Posted March 4, 2018 Posted March 4, 2018 Hi all, Basically I moved into a house share about 7 months ago ( 3 bedroom house) and one of the existing tenants is the landlords daughter. Anyway, cutting a long story short, we ended up in a relationship around 4-5 months ago. All seemed well at first but for the last 2-3 months, there has been constant arguing with most arguments seeking to revolve around tidying up, money,mand not going out for constant meals, and her smoking habits. With the money, she says we don’t do many things outside of the house, but if we did everything she suggested we would be spending in excess of £100.00-£150.00 every week / weekend on going out meals etc. Unfortunately I do not have the financial means to do this, and she realistically can only live that lifestyle due to not paying any rent etc, and recieving money from the house. Furthermore, she is also a smoker which I am not keen of. She has been good in general at not doing it around me, but we’ve had friends up all weekend and she’s been smoking whilst we’ve been out in public around me etc. I have asked her to try and quit (which may be unreasonable) but she has chosen to carry on regardless. In terms of initial attraction, she had only ever been interested in black men prior to me, which has made me think whether we are compatible etc in the long run. For me, the sexual attraction is very much there but the conflicts and constant arguments are starting to get too much, and due to that, have left me wondering whether life was much more easier without her being my girlfreind, and just being a housemate. She has also constantly threatened to end the relationship, saying things like “maybe we should just end it”etc, after every argument which makes me think that she doesn’t care too much about it. Lastly, we had freinds up this weekend, and we went out into town. We came back early, as our freinds weren’t up for a long night. However on the bus back, she was accusing me of taking drugs (as I went off with my friend for a while) and she knows that me and ** had done it at a festival a year ago. Anyway, on the bus back, she ordered a drug test sample kit and said that if I had taken anything’s it’s over. I assured her I haven’t taken anything, but she doesn’t believe me. After that, I received the sofa treatment, with her now saying that we should end it. We just seem to be going back and two into making up and then saying we should end it all. I would really appreciate your thoughts on this.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 4, 2018 Posted March 4, 2018 You need to move out and forget this girl. She is too immature for a relationship and could easily compromise your continued tenancy in her father's house.
d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2018 Posted March 4, 2018 Only you know whether you should break up but it seems to me that you two aren't very compatible. Money is the greatest source of friction in most marriages & you two are already quarrelling about it. You don't like her smoking but you recognize that is unlikely to change. She doesn't trust you. If she has to go so far as to order a drug testing kit for you, the foundation for a healthy relationship doesn't exist. Here threats to break up also indicate a lack of conflict resolution skills. Given that this girl may want you out of the house, to make his daughter happy I suspect the landlord may let you out of the lease.
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