Angie741 Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 Hi. I will like some opinions about what I think regarding guys from social media. First of all, i'm not looking for love online but regardless guys still flirt via Facebook or Instagram. Well I've noticed its always the same pattern. A guy adds me or I add him, he starts liking my photos, then he starts a convo and then I realize he does the exact same thing with other girls. So guys flirt with multiple girls. Now a days it's so easy to flirt because all it takes is a "click" on the computer. I bet a guy wouldn't be so bold to approach a girl and start a convo in person, the same way they do it online. Since I feel uncomfortable being stalked by players I stopped using Facebook. The problem is that now I feel like a total WEIRDO because everyone is on social media and I'm not. I just got tired of the guys there and how they behave. Meeting a guy who's serious not a social media addict is very rare so I don't know if I'm normal for staying away from Facebook. What are your thoughts about this? Don't you think guys flirt more online rather than in real life? That's why I don't trust
d0nnivain Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 I don't know if they flirt more on line then in person but I have to say probably. Too many people can't handle real life about anything any more & then can only interact through a device so it stands to reason that someone would be flirtier when it's "safe" over social media rather than in person when they can only stare at their shoes & mumble. If you don't trust social media people, stop accepting friend requests from people you don't know IRL. 5
Mx12345 Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 I met a guy on an online dating site once and after only a day or two using the app he suggested we become Facebook friends and talk over Facebook Messenger. I wasn't entirely comfortable, but I don't put a lot on Facebook either so I thought why not. I have 400 friends on Facebook, most of which are people I went to HS and college with and do not talk to. Once we became friends he had 1400 "friends" and they were all hot girls. Red flags all over the place. A few days later he added me on Instagram, same thing, he followed over 1000 people and all gorgeous women. One day I woke up to having 10 to 12 likes from him on all my old pictures. He also commented how pretty I was on many of them. I was naïve and actually flattered. We eventually went out a few times, but his social media use bothered me. In the month I knew him he followed almost 75 females. Meanwhile I had added two people who I actually knew. I also noticed he would "like bomb" girls profiles. Liking many of their selfies right in a row. I wasn't special, he did this to all girls to get their attention. I only dated him for 6 weeks but he was hands down one of the most social media obsessed people Id ever met. Guys like this aren't looking for a relationship. They are players and social media gives them easy access to multiple women. I was dumb and fell for it. Good for you for deleting social media.
MidwestUSA Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 I met my husband via Facebook. TBH, tho, I doubt he was flirting with anyone and everyone who would have it. 4
basil67 Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 You don't have to cancel your social media. Just tighten the security settings and if 'friends of friends' approach you, just ignore them. 4
BaileyB Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 Can you not be on social media and not be approached by a series of guys who are flirting with you and other women? I mean, I've never really had that problem... Seriously though, why would you trust a stranger who you meet online? You shouldn't. If you are going to do online dating, you need to understand that everybody online is flirting and texting with other people... both men and women. It's once you meet and learn he's a good guy that you begin to develop trust. That's a big leap, and one that I was never able to take which is why... OLD was never for me. 1
CrazyKatLady Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 How is mild flirting bad when you aren't in a relationship? I think it is good if a man has a healthy interest in women, and at least if its posted online, he isn't hiding it...when in a relationship, I have dated men who had a room full of women in my own home when I got off work-it didn't bother me-he wasn't hiding anything. Its when flirting goes on undetected and you never knew a person was a flirt until they get caught doing it and then overreact that it becomes a problem in my eyes...c'mon...who can resist laughing with a guy who flirts...it's usually a healthy and harmless behavior in my eyes. If something makes you feel bad though, do what makes things better for you. I hardly Facebook, but ehh...sometimes I have a point to get across, so I log on...it's whatever makes you feel comfy...
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 1, 2018 Posted March 1, 2018 Almost all of these people are fake and are going to eventually just ask you for money. It's especially suspect if they are "deployed." It even happened to my mom in her 70s! And she believed he was who he said he was! She wasn't going to send him money, but she couldn't grasp the concept of being catfished. She just thought he was a jerk for asking lol. Just the other day someone tried pulling this with me through Words with Friends! When he asked me if I was open to a new relationship and I told him no way, I'd never trust some rando from an app, he resigned the game .
todreaminblue Posted March 1, 2018 Posted March 1, 2018 (edited) yeah i don't trust facebook guys either who try to add me or request i add them if i cant see common friends or common facebook groups, i don't like to add them, i have in the past and it hasn't worked out well....most of my facebook friends are direct family and friends....if i see a lot of women on a guys friends list i do not add them .....and my friends list is private.....to protect my friends and family from scammers or others who might be disingenuous or duplicitous in adding them... i don't think you are weird i prefer if a guy asks me out to be in person its the only way i roll shows guts.i prefer my men to be gutsy and brave.... fearless....if a guy cant look me in the eye and ask...that guy isnt really for me..means i have more guts than them....... so do not worry that you are weird, there are many who don't like the whole social media dating circuit..i am the same.....i feel social media.....is very impersonal and disconnected from forming true connections if that makes sense..for me facebook and the like....is good for communication if you have overseas friends and family or people you cant get hold of by phone or for stalking and understanding your kids and who their friends are.... not as a dating platform...deb..... Edited March 1, 2018 by todreaminblue
Versacehottie Posted March 1, 2018 Posted March 1, 2018 You don't have to cancel your social media. Just tighten the security settings and if 'friends of friends' approach you, just ignore them. Agreed. It's fine to cancel social media that you don't enjoy in general but if you enjoy for connecting with friends, etc, then the fact that some guys may contact you on there should just be something you handle or manage---such as tightening the security settings or setting your account to private. Taking it even a step further, on instagram for example, you can stay public but wondering if you can use your inner strength to deal with guys that hit on you through social media. First, either don't respond but take the compliment. (think of it just like businesses that spam on social media--i ignore them--they want something from you, which i rarely want to engage in--same with creepy guys unwanted attention--ignore). Second, take the compliment but with a grain of salt--a savvy girl knows as you do now--that some guys just like tons of pics to hopefully get a reaction and some traction with you and are throwing the net wide with that approach. So I would laugh about it or call him out--or again, take the compliment but with a grain of salt--see if they do any extra work to actually try to date you. Also since you believe that's not legit dating behavior--take the compliment but don't consider dating those guys. Lastly, it helps not to monitor what your IG crushes or guys you are interested in are "liking" or what their FB activity is. It will just drive you crazy, lower your self-esteem and cause assumptions and miscommunication. Those are all ways you can still participate in social media without limiting what YOU do, based on what you think OTHERS will do. Also try to put less stock in social media on the whole. There can be a happy medium between banning yourself from it altogether and enjoying it in a way that will make you happy but not cause stress into your life. And find ways that you feel more genuine about to meet guys. If you are starting to feel that is the only way to meet guys it will have a negative impact on you. But if you minimize it's importance by replacing it with better solutions, you will feel empowered. What other people do shouldn't steal your power. Don't be too passive. 2
Simple Logic Posted March 1, 2018 Posted March 1, 2018 Do what you feel comfortable with, but I believe you are being prudent. 1
Versacehottie Posted March 1, 2018 Posted March 1, 2018 oh and to answer your original question, "am I normal?" Actually, I believe that cutting yourself off from things you enjoy to AVOID minor annoyances is actually not normal. On a spectrum, it's an extreme and not mentally healthy reaction. Just do what you want. There is no contact from any of these guys that is so intrusive that you can't deal with it. That's the real issue: why don't you feel capable to deal with this? 1
Jj66 Posted March 1, 2018 Posted March 1, 2018 I don't accept friend requests from people I do not know. My default privacy is set to friends only. If you are not a friend of a friend you can't send me a friend request, my friend list is private, etc. When I begin dating someone I do not connect with them on social media before they have met my family. Seems to cut down on most of the problems but I still have to unfollow some people whose posts annoy me. 1
smackie9 Posted March 1, 2018 Posted March 1, 2018 (edited) Here's what you do. Don't use your photo for your home page, use a cat or your pet like I do, and set your settings to friends only. It's that simple. That's how I did it, to keep my stalker and creepos from trying to add me. And don't add guys you don't know ...there problem solved. Edited March 1, 2018 by smackie9 2
Sunlight72 Posted March 1, 2018 Posted March 1, 2018 OP - just don't friend any guy who isn't your real world friend. It's Super easy. And directly to your thread title, "I don't trust guys from social media", well, good! You shouldn't 'trust' them, you don't know them at all. But, it seems you are acting like you trust them because you friend them. Stop doing that. And stop friend-requesting guys you don't know. You're just as bad as they are. You're not sincere, you don't know them, you're flirting with them but you (seemingly) have no intention of starting a real world relationship with them. You are confusing them by showing interest, then being annoyed that they return the vague social-media interest. Make up your mind. 2
kendahke Posted March 1, 2018 Posted March 1, 2018 Hi. I will like some opinions about what I think regarding guys from social media. First of all, i'm not looking for love online but regardless guys still flirt via Facebook or Instagram. Well I've noticed its always the same pattern. A guy adds me or I add him, he starts liking my photos, then he starts a convo and then I realize he does the exact same thing with other girls. So guys flirt with multiple girls. Now a days it's so easy to flirt because all it takes is a "click" on the computer. I bet a guy wouldn't be so bold to approach a girl and start a convo in person, the same way they do it online. Since I feel uncomfortable being stalked by players I stopped using Facebook. The problem is that now I feel like a total WEIRDO because everyone is on social media and I'm not. I just got tired of the guys there and how they behave. Meeting a guy who's serious not a social media addict is very rare so I don't know if I'm normal for staying away from Facebook. What are your thoughts about this? Don't you think guys flirt more online rather than in real life? That's why I don't trust I think it's par for the course on social media, but the thing is, you can't expect anyone who just recently added you, is liking your pictures and sending you flirty messages to be devoted to someone they don't know. Of course they're casting a wide net. If you don't want that, you lock down your account so that people you don't know can't contact you---or their messages get sent to the wastelands, never to be read by you. You do have more control over your account than you seem to realize.
Coffeeguy Posted March 1, 2018 Posted March 1, 2018 Hi. I will like some opinions about what I think regarding guys from social media. First of all, i'm not looking for love online but regardless guys still flirt via Facebook or Instagram. Well I've noticed its always the same pattern. A guy adds me or I add him, he starts liking my photos, then he starts a convo and then I realize he does the exact same thing with other girls. So guys flirt with multiple girls. Now a days it's so easy to flirt because all it takes is a "click" on the computer. I bet a guy wouldn't be so bold to approach a girl and start a convo in person, the same way they do it online. Since I feel uncomfortable being stalked by players I stopped using Facebook. The problem is that now I feel like a total WEIRDO because everyone is on social media and I'm not. I just got tired of the guys there and how they behave. Meeting a guy who's serious not a social media addict is very rare so I don't know if I'm normal for staying away from Facebook. What are your thoughts about this? Don't you think guys flirt more online rather than in real life? That's why I don't trust I wouldn't know. I think social media blows and my FB account has 4 friends.
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