jamesmark Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 I been dating this girl for almost 4 months and we are going to be traveling together for first time. I feel we have progressed well and pretty far. She told me that I am the only one she is dating and really enjoys spending time with me. I want a relationship with her and be official. I was wondering how most people go about doing so. How do I know it is the right time to ask?
alphamale Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 it is the woman's job to do this. wait for her to bring up the subject. in the meantime just enjoy yourself... 1
spiderowl Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 It's not anybody's job in particular to ask this, just broach things in a way that feels comfortable to you. She's said she's not dating anyone else, so that's a good sign. You could ask her how she'd like things to go in the near future, perhaps say you feel that things are going well and ask her how she feels. Maybe that will open things up for a discussion about how you can both feel more secure in this relationship. Talk about 'relationship' rather than dating and see how she reacts. I'm sure there are ways of sounding her out before making things explicit.
Flame Aura Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 it is the woman's job to do this. wait for her to bring up the subject. in the meantime just enjoy yourself... That is a joke right? OP, as the man it is your job to do it. When its the right time, you just know. Try make it a bit different and romantic. When I asked my current girlfriend to become official I took her on a walk by the riverside, gave her a pair of heart shaped earrings in the style she likes and asked her to be my girlfriend. 7
healing light Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 I like Flame Aura's style. So does my mom--I just read his post to her. I would never bring up the topic of being in a relationship with a man--I see that as his job, not a woman's. It sounds like she's already tried to hint at wanting exclusivity with you by telling you she's only dating you and enjoys spending time with you. You were supposed to take that ball and run with it, imo. So I think you can safely expect that she will agree to be official if and when you bring it up. My boyfriend asked over text. I suggest finding a way to do it in person. It doesn't have to be a big affair, but I would ask her sooner rather than later. 4 months is plenty of time to know you want to be in a relationship with someone. Perhaps this upcoming trip is the perfect time to ask her. Tell her how you also love spending time with her, it's been nice getting away together, and would she like to be your girlfriend--that kind of thing.
Interstellar Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 (edited) it is the woman's job to do this. wait for her to bring up the subject. in the meantime just enjoy yourself... Bingo. If the guy brings it up first he’s 50-50, but if the woman brings it up first then you know you’re being chosen. Guys may do the picking but women does the choosing. Most guys have no patience. Edited February 26, 2018 by Interstellar 2
Chilli Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 Your kidding right, l know l'm always sayin that round here. 4 mths , holy moly it should be a given anyway by now. And just in case your still not sure , ahh , she told you your the only one she's seeing, what more do you need. Talk to the poor girl for crying out loud, before she's a grandma or something. 2
mikeylo Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 Who’s job : your job When? : 4 months is past the time already.
Gaeta Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 It's time already. Just make it cute and light and ask her : Would you be my girlfriend. 3
smackie9 Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 I never had to wait 4 months...geeez louise get on with it. Best of luck.
Exformer Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 I been dating this girl for almost 4 months and we are going to be traveling together for first time. I feel we have progressed well and pretty far. She told me that I am the only one she is dating and really enjoys spending time with me. I want a relationship with her and be official. I was wondering how most people go about doing so. How do I know it is the right time to ask? Just tell her what you want. Confirm that you aren't dating anyone else, tell her you want the same thing from her, and that you'll both continue to not date/have sex with someone else. Then suggest a label if you want one, such as "dating" or "boyfriend/girlfriend", etc. No need to be over the top or do anything romantic. Just suggest defining things as you want them to be defined. She'll either be on board or not. As far as timing goes, its been 4 months, so whenever you want, you've put in enough time you should feel comfortable suggesting things become official to your liking.
basil67 Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 (edited) If you ask her now after all this time, you know there's a good chance she'll give you a confused look and say "I thought we already were...." Edited February 26, 2018 by basil67
d0nnivain Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 If you want exclusivity & to make this official, ask already. What is stopping you?
lurker74 Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 Practical advice: Ask her if it's OK to become Facebook official. That will spark the discussion without it being awkward. And if you don't have Facebook and you have been dating a woman for four months but don't know if you're exclusive, it probably means you're Amish. In which case, Rumspringa is almost over. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumspringa 1
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