RecentChange Posted February 27, 2018 Posted February 27, 2018 If he didn't just want sex' date=' he wouldn't have invited you over to his place on the 1st date. People looking for more then a hookup, don't invite 1st dates or 2nd or 3rd (depending on how fast they move) to their place nor do they suggest going back to their place.[/quote'] Tell that to my husband (we had sex on the second date) 3
Flame Aura Posted February 27, 2018 Posted February 27, 2018 Guys go on Tinder primarily to find someone to sleep with, and then depending on what they want, possibly something long term. I only tried Tinder briefly and met up with one girl and we had sex on the first day we met. Ended up being FWB for a bit till I decided I wanted something serious and I knew that was not gonna be her. Go out to dinner on Tuesday. Talk and find out what he is looking for. Make sure hes being honest and not just telling you what you want to hear to get you into bed. If it all goes well, don't have sex with him. See how he reacts and if he still shows interest in meeting up and spending time together again. If hes happy getting to know you, until you are 'ready' then you know you are on the right track. Let us know how the date goes.
camillalev Posted February 27, 2018 Posted February 27, 2018 (edited) What I don't understand is why so many are bashing sex?? What's wrong with sex? People sound like puritans looking down on this guy if he wants sex. Did you bother to read the opening post before deciding to add in your two cents. She explicitly said "I dont want to be used for sex again". Well If I had gone on three dates, dropping my hard earned money on dinners and activities to keep some girl entertained, and there still wasn’t any sex after three or four dates, I’d start to feel USED. Or that we were just friends. Gross. Women don't owe you sex after "dropping your hard earned money" on dates. And if the guy is is genuinely interested in pursuing more, he will understand and wait for more than three dates before moving it to the next level. Ive has sex with women and instantly decided she was not LTR material - like one girl said “I don’t really do that (BJ)” after I went down on her for an hour. Damn, that's harsh. Now you know what it feels like to be a woman So yeah, just because a guy doesn’t keep seeing you doesn’t mean you were used. Trust me, if you are a cool chick and giving in bed, guys will rarely pump and dump you. Yes, just because a guy is ultimately not interested doesnt mean he might not have been open to something more generally. There's a myriad of reasons why someone wont want to be in an R with someone else. But given the circumstance, his actions, and the fact that this is from Tinder, it's safe to assume he was after casual sex. And there are many cool chicks in this world that are giving in bed. Doesnt mean they wont be "pump and dumped" and it doesnt make them(or any person male or female) "relationship material" for every person. Edited February 27, 2018 by camillalev 2
dude360 Posted February 27, 2018 Posted February 27, 2018 I had sex with one of my last girlfriends on the first date and we went on to date for two and a half years. Sex on the first date or early doesn't mean he's using you or he's only out for sex. Blaming a guy not wanting to see you again after sex is a cheap cop out. It could have been for a multitude of reasons not just sex.
Author yellowhibiscus Posted February 27, 2018 Author Posted February 27, 2018 So now he is asking me if I can pick him up and then go to dinner (the restaurant is close by). Is this weird? It seems weird to me- was thinking we would just meet at the restaurant.
losangelena Posted February 27, 2018 Posted February 27, 2018 Don't worry so much about whether it's "weird." If the idea makes you uncomfortable, then tell him you'd rather meet him there. If he can't respect that, it's a red flag.
Author yellowhibiscus Posted February 27, 2018 Author Posted February 27, 2018 Yeah, I told him I would meet him there and he was okay with that.
heavenonearth Posted February 27, 2018 Posted February 27, 2018 Well I hate to burst your bubble but the fact he’s on Tinder tells me he likely doesn’t want a serious relationship. I’m glad you like him and I hope it turns into something. That's ridiculous. I know plenty of people who have met their longterm partners on tinder. Myself included.
SevenCity Posted February 27, 2018 Posted February 27, 2018 That's ridiculous. I know plenty of people who have met their longterm partners on tinder. Myself included. And the OP apparently is on there and not looking for a hookup. I no longer use tinder as the woman are strange to say the least. That is a factor of location and age though. Most of the better ones seem to be on bumble.
Author yellowhibiscus Posted February 28, 2018 Author Posted February 28, 2018 Ok, so here's an update. I went on the date tonight. We had dinner and then afterwards went to listen to some live music and have another drink. We talked for another 4 hours-ish....really, really good conversation and I feel we have a good connection!! He did ask me into his apartment but I said no because I do have to work in the morning. He was fine with that and agreed that he wanted to see me this weekend. So, we will see if he messages me! But it was an amazing time!! I am crossing my fingers! 2
camillalev Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 That's ridiculous. I know plenty of people who have met their longterm partners on tinder. Myself included. Tinder is known as a hookup app for a reason. I also know one couple that met on tinder and are engaged. I also know hundreds of others that use it exclusively for hooking up. There are multiple instagram accounts dedicated to men grossly hitting o women on tinder. Just because youve met someone on tinder doesnt mean it is not by and large used by the majority of users for hooking up. 1
guest569 Posted March 1, 2018 Posted March 1, 2018 I agree with this. I feel like if you withhold sex just as a way to test the guy, or a way to keep the guy around, that's just gonna backfire. I disagree. They have known each other for 4 hours which is not enough time to build trust and figure out what the person is like.nothing wrong with waiting a bit to see, especially if you’re scared of being used or dumped. Hell yeah he is interested, but I would just keep dates out and about rather than intimate settings as it eliminates the possibility altogether if you’re not ready and might be tempted?
guest569 Posted March 1, 2018 Posted March 1, 2018 Tinder is known as a hookup app for a reason. I also know one couple that met on tinder and are engaged. I also know hundreds of others that use it exclusively for hooking up. There are multiple instagram accounts dedicated to men grossly hitting o women on tinder. Just because youve met someone on tinder doesnt mean it is not by and large used by the majority of users for hooking up. It’s funny cause I’ve never ever had a hookup on tinder! Went on lots of first dates and had 2 relationships, and a couple of friendships and a FWB, but never a hookup. Because I am not interested in a hookup. It is whatever you make it I think. 1
guest569 Posted March 1, 2018 Posted March 1, 2018 Ok, so here's an update. I went on the date tonight. We had dinner and then afterwards went to listen to some live music and have another drink. We talked for another 4 hours-ish....really, really good conversation and I feel we have a good connection!! He did ask me into his apartment but I said no because I do have to work in the morning. He was fine with that and agreed that he wanted to see me this weekend. So, we will see if he messages me! But it was an amazing time!! I am crossing my fingers! Sorry, just saw the update. That sounds really positive and I’m so excited for you!! All the best
joseb Posted March 1, 2018 Posted March 1, 2018 It’s funny cause I’ve never ever had a hookup on tinder! Went on lots of first dates and had 2 relationships, and a couple of friendships and a FWB, but never a hookup. Because I am not interested in a hookup. It is whatever you make it I think. I get quite annoyed when people say tinder is a hookup app! I'm looking for hookups and everyone on there is looking for relationships 2
camillalev Posted March 2, 2018 Posted March 2, 2018 It’s funny cause I’ve never ever had a hookup on tinder! Went on lots of first dates and had 2 relationships, and a couple of friendships and a FWB, but never a hookup. Because I am not interested in a hookup. It is whatever you make it I think. What's funny is neither have I! I've had lots of first dates that didnt go anywhere. But about 90% of the people I interacted with were obviously looking for that, some more openly than others. Or a casual FWB situation like you mentioned, many people I know find their FWB on tinder, as many are looking for some casual and sexual rather than long term. A very small percentage were openly looking for a relationship. I dont enjoy hookups or one night stands, I pretty much never do them. Maybe because I live in a large city my experience was different than yours. Most people I know that live in other large cities have the same experience I do. Almost every woman and man I know that has used tinder has had a similar experience. The majority of people are on there use it to find casual sexual relationships, but of course not everyone. I've even seen someone trying to sell old furniture on there. People use it for a variety of reasons, but the majority who go to download the app are doing it with the purpose of finding a casual hookup or fwb.
winny Posted March 2, 2018 Posted March 2, 2018 Ok, so here's an update. I went on the date tonight. We had dinner and then afterwards went to listen to some live music and have another drink. We talked for another 4 hours-ish....really, really good conversation and I feel we have a good connection!! He did ask me into his apartment but I said no because I do have to work in the morning. He was fine with that and agreed that he wanted to see me this weekend. So, we will see if he messages me! But it was an amazing time!! I am crossing my fingers! Good.Don't get emotionally involved yet.
Recommended Posts