Meg1880 Posted February 25, 2018 Posted February 25, 2018 (edited) Hi everyone Back in October, I met a guy at a bar. He had been in my city for business but was due to head back the day after. (Btw, this will be relevant - it’s very unlikely he would be in my city on business again ever or ever need to come here really). He lives in a city about 130 miles away from mine. Things escalated and I ended up in his hotel room and we slept together. It wasn’t really like many other ONS I’ve had, though; we didn’t go to sleep, we stayed up chatting and both said we felt a huge connection and sparks before we had even slept together. We exchanged numbers and parted ways. I left feeling absolutely gutted and knowing I would probably never hear from him again, that he just wanted a hook up, etc. To my surprise, he text me later that day and added me on social media. We spoke consistently back and forth for a few days afterwards and threw around desires for one of us to travel to the other so we could see each other. By now my attraction to him was really escalating and it’s fair to say I got my hopes up. I think both of us were too shy really to nail down any firm plans. Conversation fizzled out a bit and I noticed the length of time he would take to reply got longer and longer. Eventually he hadn’t text me back for a week and I decided to move on and forget it all. However, he did eventually text me back and I’m not just talking a one word response, I’m talking long, detailed texts with lots of questions. Sometimes we would get caught up in a “live” back and forth conversation until he would ghost me again for a few weeks and then would show up again! Last night I hadn’t heard off him for 2-3 weeks, I’d been starting to go on first dates again with new people, when he popped up again after seeing id been away on social media. Again he had loads of questions and was sending me some really cute and thoughtful text messages. I stupidly responded within a few hours, again a conversation, then poof. Gone again. I know many of you will probably be thinking “wow she needs to move on!” And I know that too, but I’m very curious as to why he would keep doing this? He can’t booty call me or have me as FWB because we live so far away from each other? Do I just take the plunge and directly ask him to come down and stay with me to see how serious, if at all, he is? I don’t know what to do? What’s his motive!! Edited February 25, 2018 by Meg1880
NopeNah Posted February 25, 2018 Posted February 25, 2018 Sounds like he's lonely/bored when he reaches out via text. 2
smackie9 Posted February 25, 2018 Posted February 25, 2018 He's your penpal. He has a connection with you and enjoys the conversations....I would call it a friendship of sorts. 3
snowboy91 Posted February 25, 2018 Posted February 25, 2018 Sounds like he's lonely/bored when he reaches out via text. Or just horny. At this point he's not invested enough to keep the conversation going on a regular basis, or make the effort to travel to you. 130 miles is what, 2 hours of driving? That's not all that far!
Imajerk17 Posted February 25, 2018 Posted February 25, 2018 I presume you know for sure that he definitely is not married? He just views you as some sort of friend/penpal. He doesn't seem that interested (or even horny, frankly, he isn't even making the effort to see you for sex). It's 130 miles, that's 2 hours of driving, a bit long but if the connection were truly that strong he could still see you a few times a month.
Whodatdog Posted February 26, 2018 Posted February 26, 2018 Pretty sure he has a girlfriend, and just contacts you during gaps when he's bored.
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