Texting is hard to understand

[RAMBLER278]

So I hooked up with this girl at the office. We had a lot of fun and both of us admitted we feel a connection to each other. The issue is, or not, that I'm a bit older than her and recently divorced. So with my "wisdom" I find it easy to express my feelings. Which I did. And she's not exactly where I'm at. Which is fine. She said she's not good at articulating or expressing her feelings. I told her that when someone knows things wont progress they simply know.

 

So I told her that she needs to tell me if she feels that way because I don't want to make a fool out of myself. She constantly texts me. And I've dialed back the expressive nature of discussing how I feel. I've put no pressure on her but she knows where I stand with her. Over the weekend she went on a trip. She kept texting me throughout the weekend. And when she went out she texted me a picture of herself all dolled up. She looked great, and I told her she looked beatiful.

 

She never said thank you but texted me later in the night to say goodnight and that she got back safe. This morning I texted her back and told her that I'm dying to see her and that I needed to express myself this morning by saying that. She responded by saying she really appreciated my self expression. No I want to see you too etc. Now this is where my wisdom fails me. I don't waste my time with people who don't reciprocate. To me her not saying she wanted to see me too says a lot. Saying she appreciates my self expression kind of frustrated me. Should I just move on? I really don't need to make a fool out of myself and at this point the texting is cute but it's boring me. I've already shared my feelings with her. She knows I like her.

 

But at this point I don't feel I need to say any more.What's confusing is that her texting indicates she has some interest towards me. Why else would she send me a cute selfie of herself with her lips pursed / kissing? But when I say something like I want to see you in my mind there is only one correct response, which is me too. I was planning to just stop the texting and start moving on. I know it seems small but I'm a grown man and I don't like playing games.

 

I like to be open and straight forward. But maybe because she isn't the best at communicating her feelings I might be reading into this. It's confusing. Should I mention it to her by saying your response says more than you know? or should I just stop texting all together? It's a strange thing to be getting attention but not in a manner that I understand.

Edited February 26, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
paragraphs, please use them

[Interstellar]

What’s her age? you’re “a bit older?” she sounds like she’s early 20’s, you’re getting too serious too soon with somebody who’s still a child. You’re supposed to keep it fun and light and not talk about your feelings. You gotta go in slow.

 

You don’t play games? whether we like it or not that’s how it works in the streets. That’s reality. All of them play games especially younger women. Gotta roll with it.

Edited February 25, 2018 by Interstellar

[RAMBLER278]

You nailed it. She's in her late 20's And when it came to the discussion regarding feelings all I said was I don't "hook up" unless there's a connection. I did not say anything about being in a relationship or getting serious. all I said was I really liked what happened and I hope it wasn't a one time thing. It's the constant texting that drives me bonkers. We have not gone out again. It seems like she waits for us to travel together to initiate the intimacy. All I'm saying is lets find a day to go out once in a while. Me saying I'm dying to see her isn't getting to deep. It's more like lets do this or not. I'll play the game but we have to start playing to play.

[smackie9]

You need to do the dance of push and pull to let things evolve. Sexual build up is key....a little flirting, a little space between interacting, having fun with it.

 

You are too serious and being too adult. She isn't that type, and the fact she is young. She's trying real hard to give you the hint to slow down with the seriousness.

 

If you want something majorly strong/serious, yes you are wasting your time with this girl because she is on the fence....you will eventually push her back over with these feelings you are catching, so I would stop seeing her if I were you.

[Interstellar]

You nailed it. She's in her late 20's And when it came to the discussion regarding feelings all I said was I don't "hook up" unless there's a connection. I did not say anything about being in a relationship or getting serious. all I said was I really liked what happened and I hope it wasn't a one time thing. It's the constant texting that drives me bonkers. We have not gone out again. It seems like she waits for us to travel together to initiate the intimacy. All I'm saying is lets find a day to go out once in a while. Me saying I'm dying to see her isn't getting to deep. It's more like lets do this or not. I'll play the game but we have to start playing to play.

 

You said you’re dying to see her? smh, that sounds serious. With the constant texting just tell her to save it for your date because you’d rather look at her beautiful face when she talks.

[smackie9]

It seems like she waits for us to travel together to initiate the intimacy.

There is your answer. This all she wants. You can simply ask her that you would like to go out on dates and see her response.

[Miss Spider]

You nailed it. She's in her late 20's And when it came to the discussion regarding feelings all I said was I don't "hook up" unless there's a connection. I did not say anything about being in a relationship or getting serious. all I said was I really liked what happened and I hope it wasn't a one time thing. It's the constant texting that drives me bonkers. We have not gone out again. It seems like she waits for us to travel together to initiate the intimacy. All I'm saying is lets find a day to go out once in a while. Me saying I'm dying to see her isn't getting to deep. It's more like lets do this or not. I'll play the game but we have to start playing to play.

 

Well you may not say that but there’s not really any alternative. If you don’t do hookups then what else do you call that? You’re behaving quiet scary after what is essentially ONE date( take sex out the equation). You’re getting all up in them feels when you don’t know how she sees it. If you want to see her again it doesn’t take “I miss you” and “I wanna see you”. Just PLAN A DATE and ask her out. If she blows you off or flakes then you know how she feels

Edited February 25, 2018 by Cookiesandough

[RAMBLER278]

This is all great advice. I can see my words were a bit to heavy. no big deal. I'm backing off. There's more than 1 encounter. I was simplifying the story, but yes there is more than just one hook up. So my plan is this. Back off and go back to day to day normal life. I'll leave it up to her where to take it.

[smackie9]

Reciprocating is key to being on the same page, and like you mentioned, she didn't do that. A good indication this is just something casual. Maybe she texts you a lot for the attention/ego boost....make her feel desired for her own benefit.