Linus Posted August 28, 2005 Posted August 28, 2005 I'm head over heels for this particular woman I've recently met. She's gorgeous, intelligent, savvy, the whole package. I like her A LOT more than anyone else I've met recently, and I'm pretty sold. We have gone out twice now, first for coffee, then lunch. We spent a good 2-2.5 hours or so each time. Last time it didn't really feel like either of us particularly wanted to go, but it was time to call it. There hasn't been much overt flirting, but clearly she enjoys my company, laughs at my jokes, is very engaging and so on. I'm really excited about the possibilities here, and like I've said, I'm pretty taken. We seem to have a WHOLE lot in common and I can't stop thinking about her. I want to move things towards a relationship, I need to tell her how I feel. But, I've always gotten nervous about the timing on this. I DON'T want to be cast into the friend zone. We've been out only twice--enough time? More than enough? I plan to call her tomorrow and ask her out again (she clearly must be getting the picture here). The next time we're out, should I say what I need to say? Or wait longer? Plus, I'm not entirely sure how she feels (typical guy, awful at reading signals). Also, she has grad exams coming up in a couple months (big, serious, and scary, think of them like the bar exam or something) and may be ambivalent about something else to deal with in her life (me). I would see my role as supportive and encouraging, but it's a potentially make-or-break issue. I'm falling fast for her, though, and really don't want to lose her. Thoughts?
BigB Posted August 28, 2005 Posted August 28, 2005 Maybe ask her to dinner next, she'll probably get the idea.
RecordProducer Posted August 28, 2005 Posted August 28, 2005 Nah... it's too early, you haven't even kissed yet. You can tell her things like how much you like her and that you're into serious relationships not games. Show with actions how you feel, not words. Words may scare her. Besides, things may change and you will sound un-reliable. It's better to be reserved in your verbal expressions of affection at the beginning. As soon as you sleep together, you can start the question on exclusivity. She will appreciate that you're monogamous and not a player. That will distinguish you from others and raise her interest for you. Wait with the "I love you" for at least a few weeks, if you ask me.
AmberAriesMom Posted August 28, 2005 Posted August 28, 2005 She sounds wonderful, but for your own sake wait a while. Just keep seeing her and having a good time. Maybe she'll say she's falling in love with you first! Wouldn't that be great?
Cecelius Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 You should not tell her your feelings in any event (at least not for months/years to come) -- show her how you feel -- and make sure you feel all manly and confident. Having emotions is a perfectly manly thing, just make sure you express them like a man.
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