kendahke Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 she said “hey sorry I was at work lol but yeah maybe gotta see but I’ll let you know” Translation: um, yeah... no"
Flame Aura Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 Yeah well so she said “I’ll let you know” so I said ok enjoy work, then she started to chat a bit about how she’s hungover and what not etc. I replied and made some jokes but I’m going to let her come to me now. She knows I’m interested. It’s up to her to let me know. You sure know how to make a bad situation even worse. Let the game playing begin.
Author Grey40 Posted February 22, 2018 Author Posted February 22, 2018 You sure know how to make a bad situation even worse. Let the game playing begin. Well what else should I do? I already asked her out and basically got rejected so I can’t keep bugging her or ask her out again, at least not for a while, so I have to wait for her to contact me, and if she doesn’t at least I’m not sitting around waiting. 2
some_username1 Posted February 23, 2018 Posted February 23, 2018 No offence OP but it reads like you think that you had some form of written contract with a girl who gave you some cheesy throwaway line and now she owes you a date. The truth is the absolute opposite: women are full of crap. I dont know if they mean to be or are just trying to survive being hit on without the dude turning into an axe murderer. Whatever. But the bottom line is that you literally cannot read anything into a girl who seemed a bit flirty one time. Or even 2 or 3 times. Start believing what they say once you have dated them for a couple of months, until then they will just say what feels right in that moment in time in order to successfully navigate a social interaction with someone who is stronger than them and potentially dangerous. As soon as your back is turned like a magpie they will be all over the shiny thing they spotted over there and you will be forgotten. I've seen this act so often I can only laugh and pat them on the head when a girl ive been on a couple of dates with starts gushing about how she thinks Im perfect for her. Sure you do honey, sure you do. You can't adequately judge that a girl is interested so soon, certainly not accurately enough to feel so exasperated. You should be taking the opposite approach, when they put their number in your phone and tell you some nonsense about texting her anytime you need to laugh to yourself safe in the knowledge that you know the score better than she does and maybe if she is lucky she will get a date from you rather than the other way around with you freaking out because you have a dusty phone an hour after you said goodbye.
SevenCity Posted February 23, 2018 Posted February 23, 2018 No offence OP but it reads like you think that you had some form of written contract with a girl who gave you some cheesy throwaway line and now she owes you a date. The truth is the absolute opposite: women are full of crap. I dont know if they mean to be or are just trying to survive being hit on without the dude turning into an axe murderer. Whatever. But the bottom line is that you literally cannot read anything into a girl who seemed a bit flirty one time. Or even 2 or 3 times. Start believing what they say once you have dated them for a couple of months, until then they will just say what feels right in that moment in time in order to successfully navigate a social interaction with someone who is stronger than them and potentially dangerous. As soon as your back is turned like a magpie they will be all over the shiny thing they spotted over there and you will be forgotten. I've seen this act so often I can only laugh and pat them on the head when a girl ive been on a couple of dates with starts gushing about how she thinks Im perfect for her. Sure you do honey, sure you do. You can't adequately judge that a girl is interested so soon, certainly not accurately enough to feel so exasperated. You should be taking the opposite approach, when they put their number in your phone and tell you some nonsense about texting her anytime you need to laugh to yourself safe in the knowledge that you know the score better than she does and maybe if she is lucky she will get a date from you rather than the other way around with you freaking out because you have a dusty phone an hour after you said goodbye. Mostly accurate, except they always say what they are feeling in the moment. Op - don't buy into the you asked to soon BS. If she wanted to go out with you she would have happily setup plans. Also, I'm amazed that some posters feel you were selfish because she was getting off work. Really? Selfish to offer a chick a free night out? You bastard! She sounds like low interest. Move on to higher interest chicks. The two I got now are so high interest it's almost scary
Gaeta Posted February 23, 2018 Posted February 23, 2018 Also, I'm amazed that some posters feel you were selfish because she was getting off work. Really? Selfish to offer a chick a free night out? You bastard! Did you read my reasoning behind my thought? Do you know a woman working as a waitress? It's hard work, they can be up on their feet up to 10-11 hours straight. She said her shift ends at 11 pm, that means she can be there up to 11h30 or 11h45 pm. She's tired, sweaty, and smelling like the special of the day and you think it's the very moment she wants to go out into town just cause he's paying. 1
Versacehottie Posted February 23, 2018 Posted February 23, 2018 I agree but once I’m already involved. I hate investing any kind of time like hat into someone when I’m not even sure she’s serious about meeting up or not. What?!? This is probably part of your problem. If you don't want to "invest" into flirting, you won't really have any true game and connection. Meanwhile the guys that don't see that kind of stuff as a waste of time are getting what you want. Look at it like this, if you are having a dry, boring and stiff convo with someone, are you really going to want to take the next step and meet up? Yes, this includes if you have already met them in person. It's funny how people think their actions or their person would be a strict yes or no path, i.e. she gave you her number so therefore the date is a yes for sure without taking into account that everything in life is fluid and influence by the other actions and events that come after that "yes" point, i.e. if she thinks you are boring by text she is just as likely to change her mind. Think of the "yes" as more of a maybe--and thus you should be more inclined to "invest" before you've gone on the date. Not a ton, but show what you have to offer in terms of personality and banter--it shouldn't take but 5 texts or so but other guys sometimes text a whole lot more than that. I guess what i don't understand is that if you are not willing to flirt a bit via text before you take her on a date then what will you do once you were settled in as a bf? Most guys slack off (girls too to be fair). Or here's another thing, since you look at it like this: you don't want to invest since you don't know if she will actually meet up--well she's not invested until you've shown her that'd be a smart use of her time so it's easy for her to not follow through. Pessimism will get you every time and block you from what you want. Plus you need the momentum of some flirting to take into a date to have the date be good. 2
GemmaUK Posted February 23, 2018 Posted February 23, 2018 The main part which I don't understand is that you got yourself in a pickle enough to write a thread when she hadn't replied for 2 hours when you then go on to say you basically don't text. This implies that you are the one who always drops any conversation yet if she hasn't replied within 2 hours you get funny over it. I agree with Geata too in that you could use a bit of consideration next time for her working hours. Not everyone who works a late shift is going to be prepared for or have the energy to go for a night out after finishing work at 11pm. Her reply is, 'hmm, yeah, not very interested' and I suspect that's because you didn't consider her situation when asking her out. You were only thinking of your own situation which is apparent when you said words to the effect of 'it's OK, I don't start work early so it's fine for me to go out late'. 1
Miss Spider Posted February 23, 2018 Posted February 23, 2018 (edited) “Work/busy” = no “Maybe” = no “We’ll see” = no “I’ll let you know” = no All in one line Queen of tautology Edited February 23, 2018 by Cookiesandough 2
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