SevenCity Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 I never dated in the age of texting. But here on LS I have learned that CW states that the woman should text the guy thank you for the date within 2-3 hours of the date / getting home. The man should at least make contact again within 8-12 hours of receiving the thank you. The ask for the next date can come 48 hours later but people seem to prefer shorter time frames. People are impatient & want instant gratification. N.B. If you haven't reached out within 48 hours, the woman has concluded that you are multi-dating & that she is not the odds on favorite but rather a 2nd choice. Donnivan, please fact check before you quote Corey Wayne, or read his book before you bash because you are wrong. What he teaches is that you should not contact her until the following day. Doing so gives off a desperate vibe (and gives her a chance to contact you). If she hasn’t reached out to you by the next day you reach out to her and setup the next date. He also says it’s best to respond the following day if she reaches out right after the date (so you can ask her out again after she has had time to think about the date) After 2-3 dates she should be the one initiating if you’ve done everything right. His stuff focuses not on landing as many chicks as you can, rather on finding women who have HIGH interest in you. This method does exactly that. It prevents you from wasting time on entitled chicks, those with set rules, those who think of you as “meh”, etc. Why? Because high interest women are A LOT more fun. You’ll work less and have an effortless relationship (assuming you do the other stuff right). His methods are not PUA. They are meant to filter out women who do not make good partners. Using his methods exactly, you’ll end up with a lot less women because you won’t settle for less than your standard. His methods have dramatically improved my dating game, but you run the risk of being alone because you refuse to settle.
Millie the Cat Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 I usually thank the man in person at the end of the date, so I wouldn't text "thank you for the date" again. Ball's in his court, he's the man with the job to pursue. I never dated in the age of texting. But here on LS I have learned that CW states that the woman should text the guy thank you for the date within 2-3 hours of the date / getting home. The man should at least make contact again within 8-12 hours of receiving the thank you. The ask for the next date can come 48 hours later but people seem to prefer shorter time frames. People are impatient & want instant gratification. N.B. If you haven't reached out within 48 hours, the woman has concluded that you are multi-dating & that she is not the odds on favorite but rather a 2nd choice.
SevenCity Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 That's just reading too much into it. I suppose you wouldn't appreciate a man holding a door for you either since that must mean you can't open the door for yourself? Not every polite gesture is threatening to undermine your independence. If a guy wouldn't ask me if I got back home safely knowing I have a 20 min walk from the train station during the night, I'd most likely write him down to someone inconsiderate (heck, I had guys walking me back home the whole distance plus the train ride to my area and I certainly didn't feel like they're undermining my ability to take care of myself). I'm not even talking about not reaching out for 48 hours, a guy would never get an answer back from me How long did you date these chivalrous men? How many got a second date? Also, say you went on a date with (insert rich famous current heart throb you’ve had a crush on for years) Would you not take his call after 2 days?
SevenCity Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 Yep. I prefer when the woman reaches out first after a date. When she doesn't it tells me there wasn't any interest so I won't be asking for a second date if I have any other prospects that appear more interested. My personal favorite is this text I got while on my way home from a first date. Certainly don't have to wonder whether she will say yes to a second date. And I better bring condoms. You. Da. Man! Love it!
mortensorchid Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 So did you ask to see her again in the text or did you just do a "I had a nice time last night" message to her? This is not a good sign to me.
Happy Lemming Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 Generally, I wait a couple of days to contact someone for a second or third date, but I have a land-line. I'm in agreement with Cookies' Mom. That being said... the fact that this is a long distance dating relationship, it wouldn't hurt to check in and make sure the person made it home, OK. I dated a woman 5 hours away, at one time in my life, and she would check in with me to make sure I made it back home, OK. I appreciated that. She was a fun person, as well. 1
Author Bobbyb82 Posted February 22, 2018 Author Posted February 22, 2018 So did you ask to see her again in the text or did you just do a "I had a nice time last night" message to her? This is not a good sign to me. Just nice time text...she mad me wait a good bit after my first two text after the 48 hour wait. But she picked up the pace and tone tonight, as did I. Hope I can salvage it. It may not work, but I just don’t want it to be from inaction. I’ve been to out there 3 times, so I’m going to see if I can get her to come visit. If she’s interested she’ll come. Thoughts? Thanks for all the response. It made me realize that I’m probably coming off cold, when that’s not the case at all.
Author Bobbyb82 Posted February 22, 2018 Author Posted February 22, 2018 Generally, I wait a couple of days to contact someone for a second or third date, but I have a land-line. I'm in agreement with Cookies' Mom. That being said... the fact that this is a long distance dating relationship, it wouldn't hurt to check in and make sure the person made it home, OK. I dated a woman 5 hours away, at one time in my life, and she would check in with me to make sure I made it back home, OK. I appreciated that. She was a fun person, as well. Yeah, she did the same the other times. But it was always after I’d text her that I had a good time and wanted to see her again.. So I’m sure that’s the reason. I hope.
Lorenza Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 How long did you date these chivalrous men? How many got a second date? Also, say you went on a date with (insert rich famous current heart throb you’ve had a crush on for years) Would you not take his call after 2 days? I think it just felt natural for those men to walk a woman home late at night in a questionable area. Some still have some honor I didn't see it as a desperate attempt to get another date. Answering your second question - that sounds like a scenario of some silly chick flick. That's not how it works in reality and not all women fall easy, even if he's rich and famous (and if he's a current heart throb I would have to be insane to want to date him). I've learned my lesson about flaky lukewarm men and won't accept his call 2 days later, whoever he is 2
Popsicle Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 I would think he's not that into me. I like a text the same night and next morning. You don't only have to text to ask someone out on a date. There's other things you can talk about, you know?
basil67 Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 (edited) That's just reading too much into it. I suppose you wouldn't appreciate a man holding a door for you either since that must mean you can't open the door for yourself? Not every polite gesture is threatening to undermine your independence. If a guy wouldn't ask me if I got back home safely knowing I have a 20 min walk from the train station during the night, I'd most likely write him down to someone inconsiderate (heck, I had guys walking me back home the whole distance plus the train ride to my area and I certainly didn't feel like they're undermining my ability to take care of myself). I'm not even talking about not reaching out for 48 hours, a guy would never get an answer back from me When it comes to chivalry, I'm impressed by a man who helps people who need help. An old person crossing the road. Giving a seat to a disabled person on a bus. Helping a person who's grocery bag has split. Or in the case of my niece, the guy who held her baby while she cleaned baby puke out of the pram. And yes, this includes helping me when I need help. But not helping me when I don't. Save the effort for someone who needs it. Edited February 22, 2018 by basil67 Damn auto correct
SevenCity Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 I think it just felt natural for those men to walk a woman home late at night in a questionable area. Some still have some honor I didn't see it as a desperate attempt to get another date. Answering your second question - that sounds like a scenario of some silly chick flick. That's not how it works in reality and not all women fall easy, even if he's rich and famous (and if he's a current heart throb I would have to be insane to want to date him). I've learned my lesson about flaky lukewarm men and won't accept his call 2 days later, whoever he is But you didn’t answer how many got a second date? I would walk a girl home if I saw signs of interest, if I didn’t she’s on her own. And regarding my other question, most women would go out with the waited 2 days guy regardless because she has high attraction. That’s the point I’m making, for most women, if they are really interested they don’t play silly games or have set rules. The ones that do tend to be more headaches and effort. This is why I can’t be a good PUA - it’s too much work.
Lorenza Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 But you didn’t answer how many got a second date? I would walk a girl home if I saw signs of interest, if I didn’t she’s on her own. And regarding my other question, most women would go out with the waited 2 days guy regardless because she has high attraction. That’s the point I’m making, for most women, if they are really interested they don’t play silly games or have set rules. The ones that do tend to be more headaches and effort. This is why I can’t be a good PUA - it’s too much work. I don't remember how many got a second date, these cases are rare and spread apart. The last guy to walk me home was two months ago and we did have a few dates. I don't think these are rules or silly games. It's my own personal principles if anything. Men with weak interest won't make my heart throb
d0nnivain Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 I’ve been to out there 3 times, so I’m going to see if I can get her to come visit. If she’s interested she’ll come. Thoughts? It made me realize that I’m probably coming off cold, when that’s not the case at all. Glad you understand that you may be giving off the odd vibe. Now you can work on being warmer. What do you mean "have her come visit?" If the ask is hey I have driven to you 3x, how would you feel about driving to me on Saturday there's a great restaurant near here that I'd love to take you to is fine. Asking her to come to your house if you haven't otherwise already been intimate is a big No.
Author Bobbyb82 Posted February 22, 2018 Author Posted February 22, 2018 Glad you understand that you may be giving off the odd vibe. Now you can work on being warmer. What do you mean "have her come visit?" If the ask is hey I have driven to you 3x, how would you feel about driving to me on Saturday there's a great restaurant near here that I'd love to take you to is fine. Asking her to come to your house if you haven't otherwise already been intimate is a big No. Yeah, It'd be doing something either for a day...or going to an event. I wouldn't expect her to stay with me of course. I would just assume that if she wants to come, there's always a first visit and we can work out the details/logistics(get her a place to stay/or I could stay somewhere else). I just want to spend time with her to get to know her and see if it's going anywhere. Hard to find the right way to say it I guess without giver her too much info to process.
Author Bobbyb82 Posted February 23, 2018 Author Posted February 23, 2018 So, she started replying to text better...instead of half a day instead of half a day just an couple of hours. But I was doing the same because I genuinely am busy at work. So just to cut down on the length...I am trying to make sure she knows I am really interested after I realized that I definitely could have come off cold. Also realized while being too busy to text may not hurt too bad with local people, distance and the lack of being able to meet in person makes communication and clear interest important. So last night she sent me a text thanking me for a birthday message I had sent earlier in the day, and to tell me she had just got home from a surprise birthday party. She had been on instagram posting updates, so I knew she had been busy. Emoji's and exclamation points...this message was late around 11:30. I was cleaning my house and noticed the text about 10 minutes after she had sent it. I decided I'd call her...no answer so left a voicemail. Know idea why she wouldn't answer, but about 30 minutes later she was on fb. Maybe she was busy...getting ready for bed and then thought well its after midnight I'll call tomorrow?? Who knows? My question is in your opinion how should I proceed? Wait for her call back, if she does? Text her today anyway, and kind of act like the call never happened.. I know she was interested, every woman that has knowledge of the situation believes so... And I could tell until i started with the slow replies...dumb. I just don't want her to go away thinking I didn't care/was playing with her, but also will not blow her phone up looking for that clarity.... Sorry for the rambling post...lol
dumbass2 Posted February 23, 2018 Posted February 23, 2018 I think it was too late to call and she didn't feel like getting into a conversation. That simple. I would never call someone that late that I didn't know well enough. Have you asked her out for this weekend?
Author Bobbyb82 Posted February 24, 2018 Author Posted February 24, 2018 (edited) I think it was too late to call and she didn't feel like getting into a conversation. That simple. I would never call someone that late that I didn't know well enough. Have you asked her out for this weekend? Yeah...I almost didn't call and just text her. Looking back I wish I wouldn't have. Not for this weekend, there's 4 hours distance between us. Edited February 24, 2018 by Bobbyb82
Millie the Cat Posted February 24, 2018 Posted February 24, 2018 Hi Bobby, You should have sent flowers, or balloon bouquet or something since it was her birthday. A birthday message doesn't cut it. I think you blew it. 1
Author Bobbyb82 Posted February 24, 2018 Author Posted February 24, 2018 Hi Bobby, You should have sent flowers, or balloon bouquet or something since it was her birthday. A birthday message doesn't cut it. I think you blew it. You think so? We’ve been on a couple of dates, we are long distance and haven’t had any “talk” about what we are doing or where we are headed. I figured that me sending her flowers might come off as a bribe for another date at this point...
Millie the Cat Posted February 24, 2018 Posted February 24, 2018 I think it wouldn't be too much to send flowers for her birthday. I would be disappointed. 1
Miss Spider Posted February 24, 2018 Posted February 24, 2018 (edited) No it’s sweet. Look here, there was this girl all in her feelings over this guy who was giving her flowers, lavish presents, passwords & credit card info, all after a first couple dates. She was actually asking if he was a player. Because she was into him. That’s the difference. It takes more than flowers. If she’s into you she’ll like attention, gifts, etc. ....if she’s not she’ll be creeped out... and how much in takes to creep her out is directly proportional to interest Edited February 24, 2018 by Cookiesandough
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