Thablock Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 My girlfriend broke up with me after 6 months becuase a month of LDR was to much for her and she said it was to stressfull for her and stuff. But after she broke up with me after to talking to her on the phone or msn she tells me how much she missis me and loves me. And in Emails she says the same thing. Can anyone tell me why she would say these things after she broke up with me?? I just dont get it. Thanks
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 When you quit your job, you can't just go back into work and keep doing the tasks as if you still work there and expect to still bring home a paycheck. Same goes for your girlfriend - she can't quit the relationship and continue to act like she's still in the relationship so that she gets emotional investments. I'm sure on some level she means what she says... but that doesn't mean she wants to be back in a relationship with you though. Just because you love and care for someone doesn't mean that they will be able to provide you with the type of relationship you need from them. Maybe its bad timing, maybe its that her 'love' and 'missing' are more about security and liking to have you as a backup plan, maybe its genuine but just not enough to sustain a relationship. Whatever the motivation, it doesn't matter - because whatever her story is, the result is the same: she is not your girlfriend. Perhaps its time to remind her of that, and ask her to stop sending 'girlfriend' signals when its clear she has removed herself from the position. Let her know that should she want to be your girlfriend again, then you are more than happy to work with her to see that it happens - but as long as she is not your girlfriend she gets NOTHING but platonic friendship from you, and you will not accept anything more that that from her - don't say stuff to her that you wouldn't say to your guy friends, and don't let her say stuff to you that you wouldn't let some guy say to you. It won't be easy, but she has to see firsthand what the consequences of an emotional downgrade are - so that she will clearly understand just what it is she has chosen when she walked out of your relationship. She wanted an emotional downgrade? Then by all means, provide it - and FIRMLY.
Author Thablock Posted August 28, 2005 Author Posted August 28, 2005 Hey thank you very much for your response. I now understand alot more and know what I should do in the future. If anyone has a response Id like to hear it too. thanks
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