Che-3 Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 Hi, I was dumped a week ago. We dated for a year and a half and had just spent two weeks together in Europe over Christmas. Our relationship was relatively conflict free. The whole thing started with a drunken argument where I let it slip that I loved her - the fight was inconsequential. After this, she was cold and distant for about two weeks before she dumped me. It was the quickest 180 I've ever experienced in a relationship. She broke up with me because of the love I felt. While she said that she never had gotten along this well with anyone before and that she could be herself around me - she said didn't see me like that, she doesn't feel like I'm the one, and she does not see a future with me, she wants to be alone and doesn't want to regret not taking advantage of her youth. She was sorry she couldn't reciprocate and she said that there was something wrong with her. I'm hurt. I don't believe we're completely sunk yet either. Her random posts on social media are ****ing with me. Going from posting memes with "what the **** i'm i doing" right after our breakup (this was posted twice - in her story but idk if she realized i stopped watching them - mutual friend told me) to public displays on melancholia. Yet, at the same time - she deleted several pictures of us - not all, but the most affectionate ones of us. In every other relationship it's always been so easy to unfriend, block, and move on with my life with a second thought. But not this time. There's no obvious - we just weren't right for each other in retrospect. This was honestly the best relationship I've had. A year and a half with her was worth all 4 years of my longest relationship. I don't know what to do and I don't know what to think. We haven't spoken since, she only texted me two days asking about a misplaced piece of jewelry - which isn't out of character. My female friend said she's confused and is optimistic but I've had false hope before. How should I proceed?
basil67 Posted February 21, 2018 Posted February 21, 2018 I can't help but wonder if the fight had something to do with it. You say it was inconsequential...but if the issue was of no importance, the two of you wouldn't have been fighting. What was the fight over? And how did each of you behave during the fight?
Author Che-3 Posted February 21, 2018 Author Posted February 21, 2018 Well, she said it wasn't really about the fight. She said it had to do with the implications of how I felt. The fight: I came over late Friday, I noticed she was already in a bad mood. We went to a concert and she basically was everywhere else while I just hung out with her roommate. I was annoyed and refused to go to an after party. I was further pissed that she would choose them over me (I'm not one to insist) and in part of my response was the slip that i thought i loved her... She offered to come home right away to sort things out but I was already on my way and I just crashed at my place. We reconciled over the fight the next day and then it became about what love meant. I know she had been depressed with her work for a while and my friend says that any sort of commitment just freaked her out.
springy Posted February 21, 2018 Posted February 21, 2018 If after dating for year and a half the thought of you loving her freaked her out, I’d say it’s best to leave that relationship broken. 1
CantTakeMySmile Posted February 21, 2018 Posted February 21, 2018 I don't think there is anything to do if she doesn't feel that way for you. She can't fabricate feelings. I am sorry
Author Che-3 Posted February 21, 2018 Author Posted February 21, 2018 It's just hard to let something like this go - I know she was depressed and I tend to think that it was too much stress. But at the same time it could be real, I'm about 28 and she's 23 and a part of me believes this too be final.
frigginlost Posted February 21, 2018 Posted February 21, 2018 My Opinion, The fight had nothing to do with the breakup. She had already checked out, she just kept it below the surface. She shows her cards by telling you she's young, she does not see a future with you, and does not want to miss out on anything. That is a massive red flag/Stop sign for any sort of relationship with you. I don't think she is confused about anything. On the contrary, I think she is completely in tune with who she is and what she feels right now, and is coming to terms with it. I would put this one completely behind you and move forward with someone else. There is someone out there that is at the same place in life as you.
Rick_Ralty Posted February 21, 2018 Posted February 21, 2018 I wouldn’t read too much into her social posts. she just could feel bad about dumping you but see it as necessary. Some people reconnect so that may still be a possibility she also thought about it for two weeks
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