konfeta Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 Hi how's it going. looking for advise about my past relationship with my ex girlfriend of 5 years. I have to look for alternative help because all of my friends and family do not understand where i'm coming from and all i get from them is that i need to move on etc. Going to try shorten it as much as possible and please bear with my grammar english is my 2nd language. I broke up with my ex 1 year ago due to my personal reasons i didn't want to break up with her i just needed some space for myself. While i was trying to distance myself she always accused me of cheating she tried to reach out to my friends and dig information about me. Just acting crazy and clingy. We always got in fights for no reason. In result i got so annoyed and snapped and i broke it off, it was really hard she begged me not to, but i was just so angry and went along with a break up. After about 6 months i met another girl at the concert and we started dating she wanted me to post it on social media which i did not want but i went along with it. The next day my current girlfriend showed me that my ex send her 4 paragraphs on facebook saying that I'm still in love with her and me and her apparently fixing our relationship and she needs to leave me alone. CRAZY! After that me and my current girlfriend would always get in fights and she always accuse me for texting and meeting up secretly with my ex which was not true. I realized that i'm still in love with my ex and didn't want to go further in with my current relationship, i broke it off. The next day i got drunk and called my ex asking her to meet up with me. I wanted to get her back and fix everything. But in the end when i met up with her she said that she wanted to fix our relationship when we initially broke up but right now she can't. We hugged it out and left. Next day at 2 am i get a paragraph from her saying that she still loves and cares about me alot. But she cannot see us together at the moment, but in the future if the feelings are the same maybe its a sign to try again. That was super hard to read, but it is what it is. I replied with as long as you're happy and doing good then i'm happy too. That happened at the end of the summer and since then we did not talk at all. During all this time i managed to stop thinking about it and became once again happy . Until this month. I found out that she tried to add my mother on social media few days ago which was pretty weird to me. Yesterday was my birthday and i got a text from her wishing me happy birthday which i replied with "thanks" . And then a wall of sadness just hit me out of nowhere i started thinking about her again. In my head i thought she was trying to reconnect with me because we haven't talked in a long time and its weird to text someone out of nowhere especially your ex. So i asked her how shes been and i got a bold dry response that shes doing good with everything work, school and traveling. Without her asking me how am i doing or anything. Right now i'm very confused and upset once again. Can anyone give me some sort of advise on what this girl is trying to do ? thanks in advance i really appreciate it.
d0nnivain Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 Let me see if I can recap: You dated a woman for 5 years. You had fights for no reason & she often accused you of cheating. You broke up about a year ago but you still talk. 6 months after the break up you started to date girl # 2. When Girl # 1 (the EX) found out about #2 she wrote some huge note to girl #2 telling her that you still loved her (#1) & that #2 better back off. This caused fights between you & #2. You eventually broke up. When you tried to reconcile with # 1 over the summer, she told you that she could not take you back at this time even though she cares about you. You took her at her word & were OK with it until you got a birthday message from her & she tried to add your mom as a friend on social media. She was cold to you when you spoke & said she has work & school plus she's traveling. Is that it? Your relationship with this woman #1 is over. You broke up. She's finally over you, but is trying to be "friends" but she no longer cares to date you. You need to find a way to let this go. All the promises about maybe down the road are her giving you false hope because she doesn't want to crush you to your face. Sorry.
NopeNah Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 What d0nnivain said,but I'll add that Your friends and family in fact DO UNDERSTAND and they think you SHOULD move on already....also they're probably sick of hearing about it and watching you continue to torture yourself for no reason,but..
Author konfeta Posted February 21, 2018 Author Posted February 21, 2018 thanks for the feedback. i guess i just need to man up and move on just super hard when you get reminded about it all the time.
1fish2fish Posted February 21, 2018 Posted February 21, 2018 You are absolutely right! It is SUPER hard to move on when you're constantly reminded, which is why blocking your ex on all social media and on your phone is so important.
MsJayne Posted February 21, 2018 Posted February 21, 2018 She wrote four paragraphs to your new girlfriend saying that you're still in love with her and telling your new GF to leave you alone because you're trying to work things out. She doesn't want you to be happy with someone else, but she doesn't want you herself. Umm, big steaming cup of Narcissism anyone? No wonder your new GF was upset! The right response would have been to block the old GF on your phone, all social media, etc, and tell her to stay away from your new GF and your family. Sheesh, why the hell guys fall for these pigs-in-lipstick baffles me.
Author konfeta Posted February 21, 2018 Author Posted February 21, 2018 i had her blocked on all social media for the whole time. i don't talk to her at all . so that's why texting me was really weird.
dangerous Posted February 21, 2018 Posted February 21, 2018 Block her number, and if she gets through, don't reply. Move on, she is wasting your time.
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