azaleas Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 I've been on a few dates now with a guy who is cute, funny, nice, and I enjoy spending time with him. He seems to really be into me as well. The only thing that gives me pause about him is I'm not really sure what he is doing with his life. He does have a college degree, and I know he is submitting his resume places. He is trying. But his degree is in a field where job opportunities are few and far between. The type of job he seems to want to get... I don't think it's very realistic. Now, I am certainly not a gold digger. I have a very good career of my own which took many years of schooling. This why a guy's job status is important to me. A guy doesn't need to make as much money as I do, but I do prefer that he has, you know, some type of career. I'm past the point in my life where I want to just fool around and not date seriously. I don't like to invest a lot of time on a guy unless I can see it being something real. And also, it's not fair to him either. I guess what I am wondering is, how important is a person's job status to you when you are dating them? I really do like this guy. And he IS trying. And maybe he will end up getting a good job from one of these places to which he's sending his resume. But how much time do I have to wait around for that to happen?
smackie9 Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 you are just dating him, not marrying him. If he doesn't have his crap together in 6 months, then simply move on. 2
d0nnivain Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 Age is a factor & so is industriousness. If you are both recent college grads, don't sweat it. If he was steadily employed for years & this is a new development, do as smackie suggested & give him some time to get his act together. If this is a life long pattern you may as well move on. When I met DH he was in a sales job & delivering newspapers to make ends meet. I love the guy but he's a lousy salesman. He was already a Veteran & was going to college PT on line. I saw how hard he worked even though he didn't have much to show for it. From the time I knew him until shortly after we married he went through 3 different sales jobs & sucked at all of them. I was his best source of leads & closed more deals then he did. It was untenable. After he got fired, I saw a television commercial for a job I thought might interest him. He applied, got the job & is in his 9th year happy as a clam. He's been promoted several times & makes great money. It was about finding his fit. If you don't see the potential & the drive, that is one thing. You said he's actively searching so I'd give him a chance. 2
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