Author CasualDude10 Posted February 20, 2018 Author Posted February 20, 2018 She played the game back at you. Figuring out schedule... yeah right!! Lol This is how our texting has been throughout the time we’ve been reaching out to each other. I just assumed the worst because it was right after the date. But i guess if i can dish it out, i better be ready to take it 10x worse lol
Versacehottie Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 If she doesn’t end up getting back to me, do you think i should i reach out one more time? Or just chalk it up as a learning experience and move on In the situation you had (i know she just texted you so it's really a non-issue but for learning experience) yes I would think you should have gone ahead and texted her one more time. It would have to be a well-crafted text since you'd be texting her after not receiving a response. A lot of people have a tendency to lead with their insecure or put people on the spot texts and it would have had to have been the opposite of that. Not the easiest to do but absolutely possible! Anyway, glad we don't have to worry about this. She sounds excited to see you!
Versacehottie Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 Well, she just texted me this “Hey I'm sorry I didn't text sooner I was trying to figure out my schedule. But yes I agree! I work Friday and Saturday. And I get my schedule for next week, tomorrow. What days are you free?” Looks like I didn’t completely f this up I actually find this super believable that she was waiting to figure out her schedule--and not really rushing because OP didn't rush to text her back when she texted after 1st date. She sounds really open AND trying to make it work by asking what days he is free. So for the OP, I went back to your original post on this thread and noticed that you said you have a problem between first and second dates. Maybe a little of the insecurity about that general problem is creeping in? My best advice is to be your most confident (and appropriately vulnerable and where appropriate) self. The thing is that worrying about a generalization you have about yourself won't help you make headway with her, it will just stagnate whatever "you" you present. Worrying hurts you in dating. You have to be able to present your best self and literally KNOW that it will be ok. You want to get yourself into this state of mind. Worrying will typically (99% of the time) have you present a "less than" version of yourself rather than the one who knows you have a lot to offer and are special and is seeking to find out if the other person is also. Get in that state of mind and go on the second date
Author CasualDude10 Posted February 20, 2018 Author Posted February 20, 2018 I actually find this super believable that she was waiting to figure out her schedule--and not really rushing because OP didn't rush to text her back when she texted after 1st date. She sounds really open AND trying to make it work by asking what days he is free. So for the OP, I went back to your original post on this thread and noticed that you said you have a problem between first and second dates. Maybe a little of the insecurity about that general problem is creeping in? My best advice is to be your most confident (and appropriately vulnerable and where appropriate) self. The thing is that worrying about a generalization you have about yourself won't help you make headway with her, it will just stagnate whatever "you" you present. Worrying hurts you in dating. You have to be able to present your best self and literally KNOW that it will be ok. You want to get yourself into this state of mind. Worrying will typically (99% of the time) have you present a "less than" version of yourself rather than the one who knows you have a lot to offer and are special and is seeking to find out if the other person is also. Get in that state of mind and go on the second date Yes it is literally one of the only things I’m insecure about. But I’m confident in everything else. Just found a common connection with this. I also believe her because her and I usually take long durations in between text.
Versacehottie Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 Yes it is literally one of the only things I’m insecure about. But I’m confident in everything else. Just found a common connection with this. I also believe her because her and I usually take long durations in between text. well get over it. or at the very least realize that every interaction with each individual is different. Basically in some ways you have the luxury of a fresh start with each new person. It's not truly that simple but it isn't all one-sided either in that the same exact things will happen because they happened before. It's somewhere in the middle, grey-zone. In other words, if you have taken the learning lessons that apply to YOU and your mistakes that are generalized dating mistakes you will improve. While at the same time, each person is UNIQUE so one can't apply the same exact formula to every dating situation, every person (oh god how boring would life be if that was true, but anxious worriers want all the answers upfront!!!). You just need to do and be your best and not bring baggage--either your own or generalizations that you apply to the people you are dating or the dating situations are in.
Author CasualDude10 Posted March 2, 2018 Author Posted March 2, 2018 Update post second date: We went out Wednesday night. Got dinner and went to D&B. Made out 2-3 times and at the end of the date, she said she we should do it again. Literally the same scenario as last week happened. She told me texted me when I got home, but this time I fell asleep. She said that night: “Had a great night, thanks for dinner and everything and coming to pick me up! Hope you got home safe” I woke up and texted her: “Yea i fell asleep and actually was almost late to work this morning lol. But last night was well worth it. When's the next night you're free?” That text was sent almost 24hrs ago. Still haven’t heard from her. Literally exact scenario as last week. Sweating it again, hopefully she hits me back If she responds within the next 5 hrs, then it’s literally deja vu all over again
Versacehottie Posted March 3, 2018 Posted March 3, 2018 well maybe the first time you didn't reply is biting you in the a**. She might think you play games since you did it twice now--forget that the second time it was for a legit reason. On her end, she doesn't know and it might just read that you are lukewarm about her. My only other guess of what might be going on as well is that because you guys live far from each other, it just might not be top of her priority list. And yes of course, she could be seeing someone closer or back and forth or still hung up on an ex or other crush. Don't let that defeat you. And she could just be somewhat flakey and spacey--lots of people are. Keep doing the right things on your end with confidence. It's the best way to handle things FOR YOU. Because you can't predict an outcome because what the outcome will be is DEPENDENT, in part, on how you manage your end. So the optimum thing to do is to do your best with your end AS IF it will end in success. Be your best you. Good luck
joseb Posted March 3, 2018 Posted March 3, 2018 (edited) Literally the same scenario as last week happened. She told me texted me when I got home, but this time I fell asleep. She said that night: “Had a great night, thanks for dinner and everything and coming to pick me up! Hope you got home safe” Honestly, if I were her I would wonder if you are either playing texting games, have some late night booty call or just cbf texting her when you say you will. If I were her I'd put you to the back of the list. Just saying how I see it... Edited March 3, 2018 by joseb 3
winny Posted March 3, 2018 Posted March 3, 2018 (edited) You should have sent her the text first this time asking if she got home safe/thanking etc. So you got home and just thought... let me sleep??? Edited March 3, 2018 by winny 3
Author CasualDude10 Posted March 4, 2018 Author Posted March 4, 2018 I didn’t hear back from her until I called her two days later (which was a Friday). When I called her, she didn’t answer the first call but then called back instantly and said that she was sorry that she didn’t text back yet and was going to get around to it. I then proceeded to ask when she was free and she grabbed her schedule and asked me what my schedule was like. I told her I can only hangout next Friday or Saturday, and she said she maybe going out with her friends, but she’ll get back to me (Sunday/today) when she finds out for sure which one of the two days will work. Anxiety like a mf that she is going ghost me and I won’t hear from her today.
Author CasualDude10 Posted March 5, 2018 Author Posted March 5, 2018 Update: She didn’t call. Chalking this one up as a fat L
Miss Spider Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 (edited) Ugh, I hate "game" and Corey Wayne. Basically, all you really need to know is this: develop good boundaries and get a life so you're not desperate/overly available and you will naturally be more attractive. Always be real, genuine and responsive. I think I am a sweet lady. I've even been told that by a lot of people. IRL, I am very kind and upbeat. I have this little girly soft voice and demure demeanor. You could tell I would never hurt a fly. I legit got sad for a good while after I messed up a moth's wing by trying to set it free. That being said, whenever I see a picture of his smug smile captioned with the most ridiculous stuff I have ever heard in my life, I get the overwhelming urge for nothing more than to punch the everloving **** out of Corey Wayne's face... A girl can dream... What's worse than that is the circle**** comments on his youtube videos. They're all buttering him up and agreeing how they've been a fool for not strategically planning every action to manipulate women into liking them for sec" Edited March 5, 2018 by Cookiesandough 1
MidwestUSA Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 Update: still no text I'm sorry. I've been lurking, hoping she would make contact. Or maybe not. I suspect she just wasn't feeling it after two dates, but I gotta ask - how on earth did you manage to fall asleep without texting her again, after the date? How hard could it be to grab your phone and type 'I'm home, and exhausted. Hitting the sack now, had a great time'? It's simple consideration, not rocket science. I'm leaning towards her beginning to think you've got someone else on the side that immediately commands your attention when you get home. Hell, she may even think you're living with someone, if your hands are too tied to shoot a simple text, which, again, she ASKED for! The first few dates should find you on your best behavior. She's probably extrapolated this to see how you can't be counted on to respond to anything in a timely manner, even when she outright asks for it. I'm with jose on this one. You were playing a game, and lost. You showed her she's not a priority. Ftr, I'd have been done with you too. 3
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