SevenCity Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 Well, it's not like I said, hey, how about a date tomorrow. I asked her what her plans are for her remaining days before she leaves. She told me not much because she has everything packed already. She might go into town to buy some presents and not do much. I then said if she does go into town, maybe we can meet up for a last farewell coffee. That's when she said she can't really say what she's up to, she doesn't have her cell phone on her etc etc. I was like, it's ok, never mind. Yea she lost interest. Just chalk it up to a lesson learned to move quicker in the future if you want something romantic with a woman. I rarely have interest in making female friends. When I’m talking to one it is usually because I’m attracted to her. I get to the point as soon as possible and if she’s not interested I really have no interest in talking to her further.
CatMinx Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 Yea she lost interest. Just chalk it up to a lesson learned to move quicker in the future if you want something romantic with a woman. I rarely have interest in making female friends. When I’m talking to one it is usually because I’m attracted to her. I get to the point as soon as possible and if she’s not interested I really have no interest in talking to her further. So you only talk to women you want to sleep with, meaning women are only good for sex, not for conversation? Charming. I disagree with this, I honestly don’t think she was ever into you OP, I think she enjoyed the conversation with you and that’s all. I think you’re reading waaaaaay too much into this. She never missed a class because she wanted to work out. She chatted with you because she enjoyed your company. She definitely thought you just wanted quick sex when you asked her to coffee. And the fact that you’re being so defensive about it means that part of you agrees with me on this and you’re embarrassed that you misread her. Happens to the best of us..move on to someone local. 1
lovecanbeharsh Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 In which way was I keeping on pursuing her? Did you even read anything that i wrote? The fact that you kept interest in her knowing she has a bf? And proceeded on chatting her up after every gym session? It's like you asked to get blown off in the end. Your expectations were too high.
CptInsano Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 Yeah, I’m sorry I see nothing but friendliness here. I think men get confused when women are nice to them. Either they’re not used to it or they assume since they are not really friendly with women they don’t want to have sex with women must be the same. She’s not interested I’m afraid Yes, I've seen it his a lot. There are many women who are very friendly towards. If I assumed they were interested in more than that, I would be busy. Most people who are at least somewhat extroverted love to chat, share a laugh, but that doesn't mean much more than that. I remember vacationing in Italy as a kid and teenager, because people generally were outgoing and friendly. I also think that the OP mistook her friendliness as more. 1
Author Eljay Posted February 20, 2018 Author Posted February 20, 2018 The fact that you kept interest in her knowing she has a bf? And proceeded on chatting her up after every gym session? It's like you asked to get blown off in the end. Your expectations were too high. I already wrote that I DON'T really know if she has a bf. Read the last posts.
Author Eljay Posted February 20, 2018 Author Posted February 20, 2018 I disagree with this, I honestly don’t think she was ever into you OP, I think she enjoyed the conversation with you and that’s all. I think you’re reading waaaaaay too much into this. She never missed a class because she wanted to work out. She chatted with you because she enjoyed your company. She definitely thought you just wanted quick sex when you asked her to coffee. And the fact that you’re being so defensive about it means that part of you agrees with me on this and you’re embarrassed that you misread her. I dated enough women to know the difference.
Versacehottie Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 Actually that was my whole intention to meet up for a last "farewell" coffee. I thought we'd just have a chat and a laugh, and exhange emails etc. There was a moment last Friday when we chatted after class, when I told her that I'm kind of bummed out that she's leaving. She said, she feels kind of sad too. Since she blew me off though, I won't bother anymore. I'll wish her well and that's it. um, your stance is too reactive. Too butthurt. You are friends. At the very least it's the night before she leaves to move back to italy so she has friends she is closer with to hangout with AND probably a million things to do. You can exchange info tomorrow at the gym. It's not that serious. Don't act like she "rejected" you. Relax. 4
Author Eljay Posted February 20, 2018 Author Posted February 20, 2018 You can exchange info tomorrow at the gym. It's not that serious. Don't act like she "rejected" you. Relax. Lol, that's what a good buddy just told me word for word on the phone b4. I think my biggest problem was that I put too much pressure on myself before I went to the gym. I was completely tense and edgy before I even got there. I realize now that I'll just be relaxed tomorrow and wish her well. Maybe we'll exchange infos but I won't force it anymore. I'll just try to be myself w/o any expectations. Thanks. To all: Btw, the reason I sound so defensive is because I obviously I'm not exactly 'chill' at the moment. Sorry for that. 2
Versacehottie Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 There is also the alternative. That should could have gone out with you on Wednesday with no real intention of ever seeing you again because she was going to be long distance. I have done that twice to guys I would have dated if we lived in the same place but honestly I wasn't thinking that far ahead just that it seemed like fun to have a little send off dinner. So you are really taking it to the extremes and having short-sighted perspective. As far as what happened with the two times I did this myself. One of the two guys ended up moving to the city where I was and got in touch and we dated for a while. That he ended up moving where I was had nothing to do with me only his career. As far as we were concerned, we were friends who dated a little bit but then were long distance, got back in touch when we were not long distance and then really dated. I'm just mainly saying is you need to broaden your perspective of what could happen and not go to such a negative place when things don't go your way on one try (that in itself is an unattractive trait). Good luck 1
Versacehottie Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 Lol, that's what a good buddy just told me word for word on the phone b4. I think my biggest problem was that I put too much pressure on myself before I went to the gym. I was completely tense and edgy before I even got there. I realize now that I'll just be relaxed tomorrow and wish her well. Maybe we'll exchange infos but I won't force it anymore. I'll just try to be myself w/o any expectations. Thanks. To all: Btw, the reason I sound so defensive is because I obviously I'm not exactly 'chill' at the moment. Sorry for that. lol, your friend is right. You are sounding edgy and tense--the enemy of good game. Get it together and by that I mean act more breezy. What will be, will be. You are just making friends so you have them all over the world 1
CatMinx Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 I dated enough women to know the difference. I find this very very hard to believe, and your extreme defensiveness about this is not helping your case. Inexperience is not a bad thing..you also sound very young. When I was younger I found inexperienced men charming (though, you may need to work on that as you’re coming off quite immature and petulant here). I bet you could be charming if you wanted to though! It truly sounds like she wasn’t interested in anything more than a friendship. I wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors.
Flame Aura Posted February 21, 2018 Posted February 21, 2018 So much wrong, OP. Nothing you have posted says she was so into you like you seem to think. Sounds like she was just being friendly. If you are interested in someone the first thing you find out is if they are single, directly or indirectly. Eg. "So who did you travel with here, your boyfriend?" or "So how come you go to the gym by yourself, doesn't your boyfriend like the gym?" 2 months and you didnt ask her out? 2 MONTHS? After the 2nd gym session you had together you should have said something like "As you are new to the area you want to meet up on the weekend and I'll show you some cool spots?" I've been with a few Italian chicks, and like most women they like a man that leads. 2
Lauwatchthestars Posted February 21, 2018 Posted February 21, 2018 I'm Italian and, although I can't say she was interested or not, I'll tell you that looking at someone in the eyes, laughing at someome's jokes and spending time talking is normal routine when we (Italians) enjoy a conversation. What I can also add is that she might have been thinking all along that you were not interested in her "in that way" because you never made a move...and finally when you're about to leave the country after two months there's so much to do that there's no time for coffee!! 1
Author Eljay Posted February 21, 2018 Author Posted February 21, 2018 No need to respond here anymore. I was really down the other day, it was too late to speak to a buddy so I posted in this forum but now that I'm back on my feet, I can see clearly again and feel fine. There was some helpful advice on here which I appreciate. To the replies I disagree with, whatever. Everybody has an opinion. Thanks.
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