Boyfriend cheated on me with my "friend" then 2 days later they are in a relationship

[Missmendoza]

*im going to go ahead and apologize for any bad spelling or gramer, im still kind of wound up by the whole thing.So my now ex and i have been living together for about 5 months and we just moved in with a friend of ours about a month ago to help save money. before we moved here we did have a lot of arguments because we lived at his cousins house in a room that could almost be a closet. also his cousins were never very nice to me so i was always depressed being there. since we moved to this place we have been so happy, everything was starting to come together and we barely fought. Here is where it all starts; last friday i was supposed to go out of town to visit a friend and he really didnt want me to but eventually he was ok with.

 

so i was cooking dinner before i left and he had gone with my other friends bf to go get beers because they planed on drinking that night which wasnt a big deal. but it was taking way longer so i called and he said they were on there way home but didnt get in at said time so iwas getting really mad considering i was just waiting for them to get back so i could leave. turns out they kept stopping at different friends houses and johnothan (my friends bf) is always bad about doing that and i understood it wasnt mac's (my boyfriend) fault but i was just really angry and i probably shouldnt have been but it happens. so this si when we start arguing. well a friend of my roommate and mine also was over and was going to stay the weekend which was compleatly normal. well i ended up not leaving thast night because i had to go get my nephew to take care of at the hosue while my sister worked that night.

 

so the whole time carlos (our roomate0, mac, and lexi (the friend of mine and carlos) were in carlo's room drinking beer. now ive neevr had a problem with her before because, well, like i said she was a friend of mine. but for some reason i just couldnt get her name out of my head but i ignored it. so now im getting really mad at him because my nephew was being a hand full and i told mac i really needed his help but he would just stay in there drinking. so eventually i went in there and was just letting all the anger go and i said if you really rather party then to help me then i guess you dont have a girlfriend! this was my mistake, i should have never said that even if i was overly stressed from my nephew and mad. he eventually came back to our room, i took my nephew home and came back and we went to bed.

 

well the next day later in the evening i was on my way to florida and of course he called to later that night to make sure i got there and we talked about the way i reacted and made it clear that i didnt mean it and said our i love yous.* the next day he called in to check on me and had me go on video call to make sure i wasnt with a guy or something (he is jealous)and asked when i was coming home and all of that. well that night i was just really depressed for no reason and i just couldn't shake it. well sunday comes along and later i the day i headed home and got there fairly late. when i got there i noticed there was a bunch of toys scattered everywhere which made no since because theres no way they could have fallen out of our closet and the only person who brings a kid to our house is lexi so im already piecing it together.

 

well way later carlos asked me to take him to see his friend in the hospital and he told me exactly what i thought. my boyfriend had sex with her on sunday (the day before i got home).and even was low enough to have her two year old baby playing on the floor while his moma was sleeping with her friend's man, disgusting.well i get home and wake him up and im screaming and crying that i knew he cheated on me and he tried to deni it but i told him all the facts, he couldnt fool me. he said that it was my fault for making a scene on friday and breaking up with him in front of her and all this. he knew we were together, he did it anyway and to act like it was my fault really killed me but there was a point were he appologised and all of that nonsence. i eventually calmed down and took him to work still crying the whole time.

 

when i got home i called her and told her i knew what happend and that i understood that she thought we broke up and that i knew he also told her we were broken up but that i dont understand why she wouldnt have asked me or said something before she just up and slept with him. She said she just wasnt thinking at all and blah blah blah but im not the type of person to blame the girl who had no idea. so i asked her to send me all the messages between them and to block him from everything and she did (obviously she unblocked him later as you will find out). but in the messages she told my bf that carlos said she could never come back to the house and that she didnt understand what she did wrong. which proved that she really didnt know. well im heart broken just crying all day.

 

then i go to pick him up and im bring up the messages because to be honest when om hurting i just want to know all of the facts so that i dont have to hurt later if i find out more. so we are at home and at about 6pm he says he needs to go do something with his couisn and i asked him to go but he refused which i took as he needed some space from me crying and asking questions. well he took my car because his tag has been expired. hours pass and he keeps telling me he is on his way home and when said time comes says a different time until eventually he goes offline for hours (we talk through messenger).

 

so im going crazy upset thinking something is wrong and the whole time im texting lexi telling here how scared i was and that i couldt eat or sleep and i even called her just crying my eyes out and i asked her if she would give me a ride to his work in the monring to see if he made it there or if anyone had heard from him and she said she would take me. so i was supposed to leave for work at 4am but he still wasnt home so i had to call my boss crying telling him what happened. he showed up around 6am kissed me on my forhead and said sorry that his phone was dead and that one of my tires popped and he had to walk back to his couins house and they helped him fix it but it was late so he stayed the night. i called him out on it because theres no way they could have gotten a tire between those times and i knew he was lying but i guess i just wanted to lie to myself.

 

He held me while I sobbed trying to calm me down, it was the last little bit of tenderness I ever got from him, it was the last little bit of love that I felt from him. i texted lexy about him getting in at 6am and told her that i think he is with another woman and she said " dont think of the worst maybe something happened and he had to stay somewhere', basically the same thing he said. my heart is racing* because its coming together. well i take him to work and the whole day his responses were short with me and he said he had to work late which was normal nut later in the day i saw on the snapchat maps that he was in bessemer even though he told me he was working ion tuscaloosa that day.

 

so i called and asked if he was still in tuscaloosa and he lied and said yes but i imediatly said "no you are not" and he admited that he was in bessemer and that his crew was going to a second location and they were about to get lunch so i let it go because i know that does happne sometimes but i just didnt understand why he would lie at first. well i call lexi and was telling here what just happened and she was agreeing that that is just weird and doesnt sound right then i asked her where she was, she was in bessemer...... at this point im just getting sick thinking that these things were just too coincidental.well he says he may be home at 8 and isnt. im just calling and everything else.

 

how could this be happening again? im texting her once again just telling her how worthless i felt and just about every bad thing i could call myself (i have an issue with making myself more upset) and she is telling me she knows how it feels because she had an ex that cheated and was doing stuff like this and she was telling me i should just let him go and that he isnt worth it (very true though) but then i noticed that they would be online at the same time.....jesus..... this time he doenst come home and i decide to go with my gutt and went to her house. i looked inside her car and there was his work clothes. im devastated. i was pouring my soul to this girl and crying to her and the whole time she knew where he was, and she knew what she was doing to me. she had to listen to the pain that they were causing and she did it anyway.

 

How could someone knowingly do that to another woman especially if they have gone through it once themselves? how could she do that to her friend?*I knocked on the house door and she comes out wearing his hoodie that I got him for Christmas, ouch. And I'm mentally freaking out barely finding the words to say to this traitor. So I tell her I know he is there. Keep in mind I'm not screaming or being hateful, I'm too hurt for that, all I could do was half talk half whisper (I just felt so weak). She lied and said he wasn't but I told her I saw his clothes in her car. Now I'm getting screamed at by her, her sister, and sisters boyfriend. All I could do was stand there tears streaming down my face as these people are screaming at me saying I had no right to come to their house and they didn't care if I thought he was there.

 

Screaming that I'm a stupid fat ***, threatened to shoot, saying they would call the cops, even going as far as her sister's boyfriend coming at my car with a hammer. It would make more sense if I was being aggressive but I wasn't, I just took the abuse, said nothing, and left with the worst pain in my heart. When I got back home I messaged him with a picture of his things in her car and asked why would he do that to me. What did I do that was so wrong that I deserved what happened. He told me "I want to be with lexi, I'm sorry that I hurt you". We message each other for a minute and it's me Telling him how worthless I felt and just loads of emotions that I feel pouring out of me. Of course he says the "no don't say that", "you aren't ugly", "I'm not good for you","you deserve someone better" stuff.

 

At some point he said he would pay the rest of the rent for me ( because I had recently gotten let off at one of my jobs and my other one cut my hours so badly that there's no way I would be able to support myself until I get another job) and I asked him for a little gas money to get to work since I used it all that morning (going to her house). And he said "of course, I will always help you." "I still care about you." " I know this might sound stupid but I don't want you to view me as the enemy." " I want to be able to be your friend". Why would he even say that after what he did? How could I possibly be friends with him! Why would he say that he would always help me? Why would he care about the way I "look at him"? Later on I ask him to come get his stuff later and he acted offended and said "fine" and "if I paid the rent then why can't my stuff be there".

 

Which was just weird to me because why would he want to have his stuff here if he is with her? Like why would he want to have to deal with seeing me every time he had to switch out clothes? Well he came to get some clothes that night and I went to what was our room with him and I wish I could lie and say that I stayed strong but I can't. I had a break down right there begging him not to do this to me and that we can work it out and to just give me the rest of the month and if it doesn't work out I would let him go to her (I was just so irrational and emotional I couldn't stop the nonsense from coming out of my mouth). He said no he couldn't because she wouldn't take him back if he did that.

 

I asked him why would he choose to be with this girl he has only known for a grand total of 4 or 5 days instead of me. And it killed me to here him say " you don't **** me like she ****s me". So I'm sitting there crying in shock just trying to comprehend what he just told me. (It doesn't even sound like him. He had never been so hateful to me before) in my head I keep trying to understand.it's just about sex? He left me to be IN A RELATIONSHIP just for sex?!?!? I could understand if he wanted to be single and **** around, but to want to be in a relationship, especially this fast, just doesn't make sense. It would even make sense if she was just incredibly beautiful or at least had her **** together, but no; this girl has a child with a baby daddy (which is crazy because mac had always said he could never be in a relationship with someone with kids because he has 2 and it would be too much to have to be able to support more with the money he makes), she doesn't cook or clean.

 

She doesn't have a job. She is very open about having to take medicine for being bipolar, and she lives with her father. Actually, she tells people that she goes to "hang out" with people for money. She says she gets paid to be there friend but that's a clear lie and I got in contact with a girl she had been friends with for 7 years who told me that she does have sex with them. And even worse she caught herpes from one of them (fan-****ing-tastic). Now I didn't believe her friend at first about the herpes but I asked lexi about it and she admitted that she does but, get this, she said her kind of herpes isn't spreadable!!! Girl what in the world!!! She even told me one of her ex's gave it to her and she still has the audacity to tell me that it isn't spreadable!!!(and as soon as I found out about it I told mac because that is endangering his health,

 

I showed him the screenshots of the convo and everything and I guess he chose to believe her!!!). Anyway (got off track) I walked outside to the car and I ask her not to do this to me too and she just acted like somehow she was innocent and even went on to say she couldn't control what he decides to do. Although that is true that she can't control what he does, she can control herself. she can open her eyes and see that what she was doing was wrong. The next day I decided that I just couldn't be in a room surrounded by his things and decided to pack his stuff and neatly put it all in the livingroom. I didn't break his stuff. I didn't throw his clothes in the yard.

 

I didn't steal anything. Because that's just not who I am, no matter how hurt I am I just can't make myself do these kinds of things. The only things I did not pack were the hats and nice shirts that I bought him for Christmas. Because in my mind (and we actually argued about it the day before when he was getting some of his stuff) why would I want him to look good for another woman (the only nice clothes he had were the ones I gave him for Christmas). Well my roommate called him later on and asked him to get his stuff and explained that I had packed everything and he said "Does she already have somebody else, is that why she wants me to get my stuff?"

 

So I don't understand, why would he ask if I have somebody else??? And why would that have to be the reason that I would want him to get his stuff? Did it not make sense to him that I wouldn't want to be surrounded by things that make me think of him, especially since he already has someone? He came to get his stuff and I stayed in the bathroom so I wouldn't have to see him but he left a box that I guess he thought was trash but it actually had important papers in it so I did message him so he knew to get it at some point (I didn't talk to him other then to say that). So now comes to the last day I had any contact with him, yesterday, he added her to his relationship status on facebook and deleted all of my pictures from his account.

 

That was also very unlike him so I figured his new girlfriend (if you even really call her that) had made him do it. I had gotten to a point where I decided to at least pretend to be over him and to really start trying to move on so I messaged him saying that he could have his hats and nice clothes I bought him and that he could drop by my work to get pick them up. He told me he was working and I said "Personally I don't really care, I decided there was no reason for me to have them." "But it's easier to get them from my work because no one likes lexi to be around." "Besides we both have someone and I don't think it's right to keep clothes from an ex around."

 

Now the last thing I said to him was a lie. I did go on two dates but dating just doesn't feel right; i know that I'm just not ready to get back out there yet knowing that it would mostly just be to forget about him (and it isn't fair to the other person either). I just said that because I wanted to look like I was strong enough to be able to move on like he didn't affect me anymore( even though all of this is fresh). Really it made me feel strong to say it too, like it was the first step that I needed to take to start healing. I said nothing else and later that night he came to get his car and I walked to my car to give him the last little symbols of my love for him. He was being nice, he was acting like the man that I remembered him being before all of this happened.

 

He asked me "are you letting me have them?" And in my Normal voice I told him that I really did not care about him anymore (lie) and that there was no point in me having them. But for the most part we were pleasant with each other and casual talk and I had made sure to put his important papers in a certain fold in a suit case to make sure that they wouldn't get damaged (it's obvious that I care about him). And nicely I reminded him to take care of a traffic ticket that he had and to be careful driving until he does so that he wouldn't get pulled over and put in jail (he missed the court). He thanked me and then he was gone. I cried after he left, but it was the last time I have cried over him. I guess it was just emotional for me because that was our final goodbye.

 

Despite how wrong he did me, in the end I don't wish anything bad on him, but I still have so many questions. Like why he jumped into that relationship with a girl like her knowing her for so little time? Why did he want to leave his stuff at our/my house? Why did he say he would still help me and didn't want to be my enemy? Why did he ask if I was with someone? I wish I knew what these things meant if they meant anything at all. I already know that I have to move on but I just want opinions on these things that are running through my head.

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Edited February 19, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[yaya1289]

Wait, he left you for someone who has Bipolar disorder? He’ll be back in a few. But don’t you dare take him back after what he dished out to you. Know your worth and treat yourself kindly now. My ex fiancé had Bipolar D. Lol your ex is in for the ride of his life, pop some popcorn for when the stories start rolling. I deal with my own mental health after my BP experience (PTSD, GAD, depression) so im not being rude about mental illness however BP disorder is severe. Most people without real life experience with it read the Wikipedia description and think it’s nothing. Like i said, he’ll be back! believe me. Feel free to PM me.

[preraph]

Look, there's too much chaos, deception and lying going on. I know you are examining the details trying to look for some way to forgive either one of them, but you shouldn't. Don't let people treat you like this. Don't be okay living in that type of chaos. They'll both do it again if you keep them around. I'm so sorry it happened to you. I know it hurts a lot. If you do the right thing, you'll lose two people you love. Been there.

[Stercrazy]

Wow! Way too much drama. You need to get away from it and find stability again. You deserve better then the way you are being treated. You don't need this. Cut ties, heal and get your mind straight.