Chella92 Posted February 16, 2018 Posted February 16, 2018 (edited) Both of us mid 20s and met off a dating site. Took us a little over a month to finally meet, but when we did we seemed to hit it off. Fast forward a few days later I ask her plans for the day and pretty much said she’s open whenever after work, so decided on last night. We have a couple drinks and watch a movie, start making out, which leads to good sex. She stays over, wants to cuddle with me, etc. Leaves the next morning, we kiss good bye. Obviously went well, I just don’t want to **** it up. I’m newly single and in my past have gotten to this stage and the girl poofs. She doesn’t really seem to care to text me much (doesn’t seem like a bad thing to me), but when we do I seem to be the one initiating it and it doesn’t really last longer then a few exchanges. I feel she’s just keeping her game tight? I guess I want to know how do I keep approaching her? I like everything about her and a girl I could see myself dating long term. How often should I try and hangout with her? Should I leave some days between our text/Snapchat exchanges? Edited February 16, 2018 by Chella92
Mrin Posted February 16, 2018 Posted February 16, 2018 My advice would be to maintain the exact level of effort and attention that you were showing before you slept together. Be steady Eddie. If you ramp it up you might spook her. If you ramp it down then she will conclude all you wanted was sex. 4
MidwestUSA Posted February 16, 2018 Posted February 16, 2018 By 'hangout' do you mean more movie watching? Have you taken her out on a proper date? Make dates in advance with specific days, times and places. Don't leave it to the last minute and ask if she 'wants to hang out tonight'. Find out what she likes to do outside of the house/bedroom - dinner, concerts, hiking, biking, etc. If all of your dates are Netflix and chill, she will get the impression that sex is your bottom line. Were you all about a movie and sex with the girls who went poof? Nothing wrong with having sex early, as long as it doesn't result in you being holed up between the sheets all the time. Good luck. 3
bene Posted February 16, 2018 Posted February 16, 2018 Continue going on actual dates with her and don’t plan only hanging out at home and having sex.
Author Chella92 Posted February 16, 2018 Author Posted February 16, 2018 (edited) Ya first date we went to get a quick bite to eat and drinks. She really only came over out of pure connivence. It was so last minute going to a restaurant was impossible due to vday and no reservations. Plus it was just too late. I originally suggested a couple restaurants to go too but again too late and the wait for not reasonable I’m out of town this weekend so figured Sunday I’ll set something up. We both work rather late so real dates can be hard if we’re both not free until 10pm We both have an interesting style of music so I’m excited to go to different bars and clubs with her. We have a good amount in common so real dates should not be an issue. Would it be out of line to go on real dates and then come back to each other’s place and stay the night? Our drive between each other is about 20 miles and just kind of makes sense. I don’t want to keep suggesting that if it just looks like I want sex, which is not the case. Edited February 16, 2018 by Chella92
Mrin Posted February 16, 2018 Posted February 16, 2018 Ya first date we went to get a quick bite to eat and drinks. She really only came over out of pure connivence. It was so last minute going to a restaurant was impossible due to vday and no reservations. Plus it was just too late. I originally suggested a couple restaurants to go too but again too late and the wait for not reasonable I’m out of town this weekend so figured Sunday I’ll set something up. We both work rather late so real dates can be hard if we’re both not free until 10pm We both have an interesting style of music so I’m excited to go to different bars and clubs with her. We have a good amount in common so real dates should not be an issue. Would it be out of line to go on real dates and then come back to each other’s place and stay the night? Our drive between each other is about 20 miles and just kind of makes sense. I don’t want to keep suggesting that if it just looks like I want sex, which is not the case. Not at all but just don't expect it. Like don't talk about it beforehand. If she brings it up if that's cool. But you shouldn't. Most women want this to happen naturally because that's a more comfortable way for it to happen. Expectations at this stage are pressure and very few women that I know deal well with feeling pressured at the beginning of a relationship.
Miss Spider Posted February 16, 2018 Posted February 16, 2018 Just proceed like any other girl you like , try not to make a big deal out of it 2
lurker74 Posted February 16, 2018 Posted February 16, 2018 Listen to the advice already given and let me sum it up: mirror her. When a person is more invested in a relationship than the other, it is a major turn off to most people, especially women. So when she calls or texts, be fun but light. And come up with interesting dates. Over time, she should become more invested in you and, if you are mirroring successfully, you in her. And then slowly you get to drop the façade that you’re not crazy about her. Summary: don’t go any faster or slower than her! 1
RecentChange Posted February 16, 2018 Posted February 16, 2018 Sounds like when I met my husband Sex on second date... We liked the same music. Would go to dinner and a concert then have fantastic sex all night.
Author Chella92 Posted February 16, 2018 Author Posted February 16, 2018 Cool I think I can make this work. I think she’s got good game too, I mean just the fact she said we can do something either night or both is a good sign. So since I live in the fun side of town, if we go to bars we’re most likely going to meet at my place first then go. It would make sense she’s going to stay the night, so should I just not even mention it since it’s basically implied?
Mrin Posted February 16, 2018 Posted February 16, 2018 Cool I think I can make this work. I think she’s got good game too, I mean just the fact she said we can do something either night or both is a good sign. So since I live in the fun side of town, if we go to bars we’re most likely going to meet at my place first then go. It would make sense she’s going to stay the night, so should I just not even mention it since it’s basically implied? If I were going to mention it I think I would do it a few hours into the date by saying something like, "Hey, I know we're out having fun and I just want you to know that you're always more than welcome to stay at my place rather than risking the late night trip back home." And if I were feeling especially stylish I might add, "... and just to show you that I am indeed a gentleman, I'll even sleep on the couch if you want." To which the appropriate flirty reply from her would be, "you better not!!!"
Author Chella92 Posted February 16, 2018 Author Posted February 16, 2018 (edited) If I were going to mention it I think I would do it a few hours into the date by saying something like, "Hey, I know we're out having fun and I just want you to know that you're always more than welcome to stay at my place rather than risking the late night trip back home." And if I were feeling especially stylish I might add, "... and just to show you that I am indeed a gentleman, I'll even sleep on the couch if you want." To which the appropriate flirty reply from her would be, "you better not!!!" Thanks Mrin! Solid advice. That’s smooth Edited February 16, 2018 by Chella92
snowboy91 Posted February 16, 2018 Posted February 16, 2018 As the others have mentioned, set up a date doing something you'll both enjoy, for example those bars and clubs with the music you both like. It at least gives you something to connect with that isn't sex. Not that sex is a bad thing, but if it's the only thing it won't last. Obviously went well, I just don’t want to **** it up. I’m newly single and in my past have gotten to this stage and the girl poofs. Sometimes (in fact, often) that's not your fault. If she's not into you then sadly that's what will happen. Someone out there is the right fit, so keep going!
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