wolf123 Posted February 14, 2018 Posted February 14, 2018 hi. i would like advice. i feel like i cant love a woman. im sexually attracted to them but i dont feel much emotionally. i fell in love once, but it wasnt returned. ever since then ive never fell in love. ive dated women and had a few relationships but i usually walked away because i didnt feel anything. i feel this strange guilt for having relationships when i dont feel much. so i spend a lot of my time being very lonely. the past 3 years have been the loneliest of my life. i am seeing one girl but that guilty confusing feeling is bothering me. im always afraid women will abandon me or hurt me. i always feel like relationships are poison and i should escape. maybe my fear has gotten the best of me. what should i do? bail out or stick it out hoping i feel better?
carhill Posted February 14, 2018 Posted February 14, 2018 Welcome to LS.... Tell us about someone you do love and how that goes for you. Do you feel comfortable being loved? 1
Iseult Posted February 14, 2018 Posted February 14, 2018 hi. i would like advice. i feel like i cant love a woman. im sexually attracted to them but i dont feel much emotionally. i fell in love once, but it wasnt returned. ever since then ive never fell in love. ive dated women and had a few relationships but i usually walked away because i didnt feel anything. i feel this strange guilt for having relationships when i dont feel much. so i spend a lot of my time being very lonely. the past 3 years have been the loneliest of my life. i am seeing one girl but that guilty confusing feeling is bothering me. im always afraid women will abandon me or hurt me. i always feel like relationships are poison and i should escape. maybe my fear has gotten the best of me. what should i do? bail out or stick it out hoping i feel better? Hoping for the best is never the answer. I think you should get some professional help. This board is fine for clueless lovelorns, but the counselling you need is not going to come from an anonymous internet forum and it's going to mess you up even more. Good luck.
Author wolf123 Posted February 14, 2018 Author Posted February 14, 2018 Do you have friends Wolf? yes. very few tho
maxi105 Posted February 14, 2018 Posted February 14, 2018 (edited) hey wolf, if you can join a club in something that you are interested in this will help you automatically meet more people with the same interest, be able to get used to talking with women again, have a fresher social circle and if you meet anyone or if the new friends you make ever go out to other kinds of social gatherings or parties etc...you may meet someone there. Of course if money is a stetch, then maybe there is a walking club or something like that if that is possible or you even like walking in nature etc...I find nature to be a GREAT way of de-stressing, thinking more clearly and just getting away from all of the pettiness and stupidity the world seems to indulge in at times. and if you do meet someone you like, walking is a good way to share the surroundings if you are finding it a bit difficult to think of subjects to talk about or keep a conversation going... The thing is to take things gradually if your a bit rusty, people are likely to be put off with knowing every little detail of your life if they don't know you that well, so if you haven't been used to talking intimately (not sexually, I must add) with others on a platonic level. then this might be a way that suits you? let people discover the nice, good things about you, just a you wish to discover the things in common with them (fancy them or not); I think If you treat them and get to know them as friends first then a lot of the pressure and anxiety will not be so difficult for you. I hope that helps and this post is not seen as some kind of threat by the powers that be. I have tried to be respectful as I can in every post I send, but I guess not everyone appreciates my style of candidness.. if they don't...who knows, this might be my last post on the shack...we shall have to see....and how dramatic that would be....banished on valentines day... but I always speak from the heart about the situations I reply to, and am not on this site to offer any other view than something that I hope can help. constructive criticism or mainly constructive is what I am about (although there are those that don't get it) fair enough, but I hope you do. my intentions are to help in the main, and if sometimes I challenge others "MILDY" to make a point then that's what is gonna happen, its just my writing style. if this helps you great, if it doesn't then you or any poster is free to tell me they don't agree, im all for that. im going off my thread here, but I guess im tiring of little notifications at times suggesting my conduct. I have a bit of a wild streak, and that is just who I am...I make no appologies for it because I couldn't change things even if I tried. but hey: GOOD WISHES WOLF 123 I like your pen name my favourite is still Gun Slinger Roland...haha....but that's just the off beat ness of my mind. BEST WISHES for this.. im sure you;ll do just fine, no one is good at everything, and I think if you can get some gentle practice in it could really help your confidence, bring a lot of fun and new friends your way as well as possibly find a more long term companion. TAKE CARE...yours ever, maybe a bit controversial *BUT ACTUALLY RATHER CARING AS WELL) maxi. Edited February 14, 2018 by maxi105
kendahke Posted February 14, 2018 Posted February 14, 2018 hi. i would like advice. i feel like i cant love a woman. im sexually attracted to them but i dont feel much emotionally. i fell in love once, but it wasnt returned. ever since then ive never fell in love. ive dated women and had a few relationships but i usually walked away because i didnt feel anything. i feel this strange guilt for having relationships when i dont feel much. so i spend a lot of my time being very lonely. the past 3 years have been the loneliest of my life. i am seeing one girl but that guilty confusing feeling is bothering me. im always afraid women will abandon me or hurt me. i always feel like relationships are poison and i should escape. maybe my fear has gotten the best of me. what should i do? bail out or stick it out hoping i feel better? Have you taken this up with a therapist? To willfully enter into romantic relationships knowing you feel they are like poison and you should escape is cruel and mean and completely unfair to the woman.
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