Jtizzle Posted August 26, 2005 Posted August 26, 2005 is it me or am i behind on the new dating movement.. lately ive been dating guys who are 10yrs plus older than me and like we'd be friends for a week..the second week they say they like me, third week ask me out ..a month we've known each other they love me... thats happen twice within the 6months. i mean you would think that folks who have been married before and just got their divorces finalized (dude im seeing now just got divorce finalized march) would want to take their time in getting to know someone and not throw their feelings out there so quick... my question is this...is it normal for men to catch feelins that fast??i thought it was supposed to be us women who thought we were in love with the dude after a few weeks of seein them nonstop or wateva..
elijahBailey Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 just some possibilities.... 1. they need some 2. you're really attractive 3. they're emotionally deprived 4. it IS the new dating movement you gotta give men some credit here. When the chemistry is there, we can fall fast. If it isn't, well, then a FWB would do just fine. Anways, my money is on (1) and (2).
curiousnycgirl Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 Actually statistics show that men who have been married before are more likely to get married again. I think these men are most comfortable in a relationship and move faster than expected to get there again.
933KJL Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 My sister always told me two rules: 1. Never love someone more than they love you 2. Never be the first to say I Love You. I can't live by them myself and I have usually been the one to fall in "love" first in most of my relationships. Sometimes I have consciously tried to hold off and it did not work--I blurted it out--go figure. And I have also heard that divorced men are more likely to remarry--my dad is on his fifth wife--but she seems to be a keeper, but he did go from one to the other--very little singledom between his marraiges.
alphamale Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 Originally posted by 933KJL My sister always told me two rules: 1. Never love someone more than they love you 2. Never be the first to say I Love You. I agree with both above, 933KJL, but as far as #1 is concerned how does one measure or objectively quantify love? " oh, I love you 8.6!" , "no, I love you 9.153". is there some machine we could blow into to find out our love scale?
933KJL Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 If you are looking to avoid heartache, it is probably very sage advice. Unfortunately, I find it difficult to follow. As for the loveometer--install them right on the dashboard of the car next to the breathalyzer. Hmm, I imagine there may be a correalation there..
Author Jtizzle Posted August 28, 2005 Author Posted August 28, 2005 lol @ 933,,yea i know what ya mean.. i actually wasnt the first to say i love you with this guy.. we were on the phone one night..i blew him a kiss..he said thank you, and it "slipped out" and then the next day it "slipped" out again..he said he would have been said it sooner, as soon as he "felt" it, but i have relationship phobia and he feared it would have ran me off..but he said it came out at the right time though..so oddly enough he was the first to say it i guess im on the thought of how dudes try to keep their feelins in and just wanan go for the booty and no emotions,etc or not into that lovey thing and wait for the lady to say it first...but i see its different with him
933KJL Posted August 28, 2005 Posted August 28, 2005 You know what is worse....when you divorce (or I guess break up after a LTR) and you are talking on the phone or leaving a message or just talking in person and out of habit let the old "I love You" fly. I can't remember how many times I have had to call back to my ex-wife's house and say that I did not mean it or that it was meant for the kids! LOL
totallyconfused Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 THANK GOODNESS someone thinks this too. I have had the same freaking problems too!!! I swear EVERY guy i've dated, except not so much my last ex of 4 years, fall so quickly. I mean the words that tumble out of their mouth is like WTF. Not only are they telling me they want to get serious, they say stuff like "we we we we" and talk about the future. Not even 2 weeks in, he has me meeting his whole family and talks about meeting the extended family. The same thing has happened twice now in the same year. My ex of 4 years, when we started dating, it just happened, very naturally, no question no doubts. But these days, I think dating is just too cheesy. I feel like the man in the relationship. i dont think its b/c of relationship phobia, as i do want a relationship. but i think that if you think the guy is falling faster than you, its not a good sign. i believe that only b/c i've had the relationship where you fall equally in love w/o force or thought. i think that women tend to "learn to love" much more than needed. men need to get some balls.
Author Jtizzle Posted August 29, 2005 Author Posted August 29, 2005 THANK GOODNESS someone thinks this too. dont think its b/c of relationship phobia, as i do want a relationship. but i think that if you think the guy is falling faster than you, its not a good sign. i believe that only b/c i've had the relationship where you fall equally in love w/o force or thought. i think that women tend to "learn to love" much more than needed. men need to get some balls. I agree with that..i do "want" a relationship, but im like holy kamoly slow it down, are u in ya buds in a race to get a gf and be all lovey..geesh i mean dude thats in that stage with me, said he just got his divorce finalized in march..its august, i think he should be out there havin fun and enjoyin him sum HIM time. but instead he's like what if "WE" get married, and blah blah..im like damn u thinkin on that, hell im thinkin on what ima do later on tonite. you need to slow it down like molasses kid.. see i like to take things slow and the guys fallin for my quirky style just rushes me into not liking them anymore. i mean when a person says i like you, im not mean, i cant bare to say, "oh i dont like you" or if a person says i love you, i cant say oh i dont love you, or thanks...lol..ok well on the i like you, i have told one guy i didnt almost everyday that he called me and tried to talk to me on that level. but i mean for the guys that like me and i somewhat am getting there..i dont want to be rushed..when i like sumone, i like them hard, and i mean hard..but them saying things to me first just throws a lil snowstorm on my basketball game
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