LeaGreenLad88 Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 Hi folks... Right basically....I've had a girl on my insta account for best part of 5 or 6 Months now. She was travelling last year.. and We added each other by chance really based on some mutual places we'd both visited. I think it was about 2 and a half weeks ago she liked a couple of my pics (ones with me in them) and she started to message me a few times..which was nice. But obviously I've never met her.. The messaging esculated from insta to her asking for my number. So i duly obliged as she seems really nice and genuine, and she's quite cute too. Although id be happy to meet the right person, and look at a relationship etc. I dont feel as though i want anything majorly serious just now. We discussed this, and she mentioned that she was at thr same stage. So I thought that was good.. And we mentioned maybe meeting up one day, may be a drink, a coffee, a walk etc the usual type scenarios. But baring in mind our relationship stance.. She was busy this weekend..well On Sunday all day. But had a few hours on Saturday afternoon . So she hinted and then asked if I was free. I wasn't as I had prior engagements I couldn't really get out of. But i said to her if there was any change of plan that id 100% try and drive over and meet up for the aforementioned drink. As it turned out I couldn't change my plans. I said I'd let her know if anything changes etc..But told her on Saturday I was going to be tied up most of day.. On Saturday evening out of the blue, she txt me saying that she felt that I'd rejected her and not really kept her in the loop re my plans.. and also that I wasn't making any effort to meet her at all. Despite previous conversations between us being really laid back and both taking it seemingly from a more friendly approach for time being.. we'd exchanged a few saucy messages and flirted a lot btw.. so there is chemistry.. I just don't get this sudden knee jerk reaction. Given how cool and relaxed we have both been. I told her it was highly unlikely that I could meet her his weekend. And let her know I was busy. Which was unfortunate. But she said she felt I'd made her feel insecure, rejected and dissapointed.. admittedly I have spoken to her once or twice in brief messages today, she's basically giving me the angle of 'if you wanted to meet up maybe we could one day, but im not sure'. And also she's been putting herself down a bit saying she knows she sounds needy and she is sorry she's not what I'm looking for etc.. I'm massively confused. And tbh i openly admit I think she is quite a nice person, and would happily meet her soon when i get chance ..I've got 3 holidays booked in next 7 or 8 weeks so I'm trying to save and also got a very busy work/social schedule between now and then so I dont have massive amounts of time..She seems to be now giving me the silent treatment. Part of me thinks I should jusg put it down to experience and move on. As we've never met. Part of me thinks maybe I should have cancelled my plans at weekend.. I really don't know if I'm to blame here, or whether she's trying to play games with me..
ExpatInItaly Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 She isn't looking for something casual, despite what she tells you. Her reaction indicates the opposite. You haven't even met and she's already giving you grief and putting herself down. I think I would be very cautious about proceeding as you're likely to find that she takes this much more seriously than you do.
Author LeaGreenLad88 Posted February 12, 2018 Author Posted February 12, 2018 Yeah that's it..I feel as though I've been a bit naive possibly? We've been speaking for less than a month.. just over 2 weeks. And in that time she's been visiting family for nearly 4 nights and been to a birthday and a wedding so she hasn't exactly been free as such. And tbf she's the one that's done the chasing. Bloody he'll I've know people who have been texting for weeks and weeks before actually going on a date after initiating contact on tinder or pof etc. My gut is saying she's got some trust issues here, and finds the idea of me rejecting her too much.. I could be wrong
mortensorchid Posted February 13, 2018 Posted February 13, 2018 I attempted to "meet someone" on Instagram a few years ago. We private messaged each other (just talking nothing risque), then when we made arrangements to meet he would cancel at the last minute and I gave up on him. We happened to meet face to face at an event a year later or so. He said "Oh you probably don't want to talk to me, do you?" I said "That's right." I never attempted again. Not that it has anything to do with your situation but Instagram is probably the most horrible social networking site to try to meet someone on.
JDJ Posted February 14, 2018 Posted February 14, 2018 To be honest, your post is stuffed full of excuses and overexplanations. Yes, she might be a little oversensitive and insecure. But you haven't met yet. Neither she nor the Love Shack audience needs to know whether you are booked on 3 of 7 weekends or 5 of 9 weekends, or whether you have 2.5 or 4.2 hours possibly free on Saturday. If you still want to meet her, just tell her when you can do it, and let her decide. It was probably your off and on "cool and relaxed" game that irritated her in the first place. 1
LoverOfDance Posted February 14, 2018 Posted February 14, 2018 (edited) I honestly zoned out when reading your excuses. I agree that you have too many. She really wants to meet you and you are pretty much lukewarm about it. No girl likes to deal with a lukewarm guy, no matter the situation. You are acting like you could care less whether you two met up or not. If she didn't try, you two would never meet. If I knew her, I would tell her to stop trying and not even bother with you. Also, if you two don't meet before the holidays you have planned, your online interaction will probably fade into nothing eventually. That's how most of these online interactions go. I think this happens because messaging/texting gets boring eventually and it's even easier for the messaging to eventually stop because you're talking to someone you haven't actually met. She's trying to meet you so that your interaction/relationship can become more real. If you don't meet soon (at least before you go on your holidays), chances are slim that you'll ever meet. Edited February 14, 2018 by LoverOfDance
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