Should my friend take the pics down of her Ex?

[Popsicle]

So my friend and her BF of 3 years broke up and now she's really hoping to find someone else. I notice that she has a bunch of pics of her and her Ex together on her Facebook page and these are still up. Would this be a turn off or confusing to new guys? Do you think she should take them down? Why or why not?

[salparadise]

Yes, it would be a turn off for new guys. Who wants to date a woman who is publicly memorializing a past relationship? This seems self-evident, so I won't try and explain it. Do you think she's still hung up on the guy?

[PegNosePete]

It's sensible not to become facebook friends until you've been dating for a while. I don't understand why people give access to their entire digital history so soon.

 

If he can see her ex's pics before becoming facebook friends then there's something wrong with her privacy settings.

 

After they've become facebook friends he should know whether he wants a relationship or not so it shouldn't matter whether there's pics of her ex or not.

[Popsicle]

My mistake. I just went back and looked at the pics and even though there are a lot of them, they are all pics that someone else posted and tagged her in. I don't think she can remove those, right?

[Popsicle]

After they've become facebook friends he should know whether he wants a relationship or not so it shouldn't matter whether there's pics of her ex or not.

 

Meh, I disagree with that. I don't want to see pics of exes on the guy I'm dating FB page.

[act00]

She may not want to remove her personal pictures, but she should probably hide them or set them to private. I don't know if she can do that with tags, but she can untag herself. I wouldn't want to erase my history, but it's reasonable to tuck the past away. You wouldn't necessarily toss your printed pictures, but you would take down the framed ones, remove the one from your wallet, etc., and put them away in an album. It would be better not to leave the old pictures available for the new guy to see. It suggests she's not over him and let's be realistic, it's hard to see and makes you jealous.

[PegNosePete]

they are all pics that someone else posted and tagged her in. I don't think she can remove those, right?

No, but she can un-tag herself if she wants.

 

Meh, I disagree with that. I don't want to see pics of exes on the guy I'm dating FB page.

Then do not stalk the FB history of the guy you're dating.

[Eternal Sunshine]

It doesn’t bother me at all. It’s a part of person’s history and knowing that someone has exes and seeing pictures is the same thing. I’m actually more disturbed by people who delete all traces of an ex from their life the moment things end.

 

I want someone who is transparent about everything in their life from date 1. That’s the only way I can build connection and trust. I also stay friends with exes if they want to. Just because romantic relationship didn’t work out, doesn’t mean this person just stopped existing for me. I’m very bothered by strict NC so many people advocate.

 

So yeah, someone that openly leaves pictures on social media = open and authentic, selectively editing the past = shady. Just my preference.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

My mistake. I just went back and looked at the pics and even though there are a lot of them, they are all pics that someone else posted and tagged her in. I don't think she can remove those, right?

 

She can untag herself or change her settings so that pics that she has not posted herself do not show up in her feed. That's how mine is set up. If one of my friends tags me in a photo, it does not show up on my feed, although I am notified that I've been tagged.

[preraph]

I get why she keeps them up, but they certainly shouldn't be on the first page. Maybe in some archives or something, but yes, any new guy would wonder about that. Tell her to put them in photobucket or something.

[Gaeta]

Depends:

 

A bunch of pictures from 10 years ago would not bother me. A bunch of pictures from 5 months ago would bother me.