matt1221 Posted February 11, 2018 Posted February 11, 2018 Calls another guy babe when you're not around and kisses him on the cheek at the end of the night, does that mean she might like him? I've heard she calls him babe in front of her friends and that at the end of the night she kissed him on the cheek and said "bye babe". We live an hour and a half away and he's a pretty decent looking dude. I'm confident they aren't hooking up, but was wondering what people thought of this situation. They aren't really that close of friends either. Kind of just friends of friends. I think she's just being flirty with him. They probably see each other out amongst friends once every three months on average, but the "babe" thing has gone on about the last 3 or 4 times.
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 Imo, yes, it means she might like him. That's some heavy flirting. Would you call another woman "Babe" in front of your girlfriend? If not, why not? 2
smackie9 Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 Over stepping her boundaries....she's keeping him on the hook for later use. 4
niji Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 Calls another guy babe when you're not around and kisses him on the cheek at the end of the night, does that mean she might like him? Is this acceptable to YOU? Everyone has different comfort level, some people are quite liberal about their relationships and allow their SOs to flirt with whoever. But it typically takes a very strong relationship/trust. As for my fiance, he'd be having "the talk" with me if I did this, and I would do the same to him. It's unthinkable for me to do something like this. The only person I would do this to is my fiance and him alone. - from a female - 2
Author matt1221 Posted February 12, 2018 Author Posted February 12, 2018 Imo, yes, it means she might like him. That's some heavy flirting. Would you call another woman "Babe" in front of your girlfriend? If not, why not? I was not there
smackie9 Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 I was not there Ok but would you do this to another women yourself?
TheBlingRing14 Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 As an unattached female, I throw the words "hun" and "sweetie" out there a lot....being Midwestern, it is part of the vernacular, and I use it with a lot of people, male, female, of all ages. But, I also use it in a flirtatious way with gentlemen I may be interested in. That said, if I were in a relationship, I cannot foresee myself using those words, and definitely not "babe" with someone who wasn't my exclusive partner. Combined with the kissing....yeah, not my cup of tea. But, I'm also not a natural flirt either. So, anyway, for what it's worth...it's not something I would do. I personally think it's probably not a good thing. But, people are different.
d0nnivain Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 It's definitely something to keep an eye on. Cheek kisses are generally no big deal IMO but if he is the only one she treats this way, it's a problem. If she is this way with everybody it's just her mannerism & doesn't mean as much. 2
SevenCity Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 I'm a logical guy so I like to simplify equations. Basically it boils down to this: Any behavior she WILL do when you are not around that she WON'T do in front of you is inappropriate. 7
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 (edited) I was not there I know that you were not there. What I was asking is if you would do it in front of your girlfriend? If not, why not? The answer to that question is the answer to the question you have asked in your original post. In other words, you wouldn't call someone Babe in front of your girlfriend because it's disrespectful to her. For the same reason she shouldn't call someone Babe behind your back because it's disrespectful to you. Even if you aren't there, it's disrespectful to you. Asking you if you'd do it in front of her makes the answer more apparent to you is why I worded it that way. It was a way to make the answer more apparent using less steps but it seems that it may have made it seem more complicated. Edited February 12, 2018 by LivingWaterPlease
sn3akerlover Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 If your girlfriend doesn't behave like that with everyone else- it does raise suspicion. It sounds like she's being flirtatious to keep her options open. I'd keep an eye on it for sure. Have you told her that you heard about this?
Author matt1221 Posted February 12, 2018 Author Posted February 12, 2018 I know that you were not there. What I was asking is if you would do it in front of your girlfriend? If not, why not? The answer to that question is the answer to the question you have asked in your original post. In other words, you wouldn't call someone Babe in front of your girlfriend because it's disrespectful to her. For the same reason she shouldn't call someone Babe behind your back because it's disrespectful to you. Even if you aren't there, it's disrespectful to you. Asking you if you'd do it in front of her makes the answer more apparent to you is why I worded it that way. It was a way to make the answer more apparent using less steps but it seems that it may have made it seem more complicated. Why would she waste her time with me if she likes him? And no, I wouldn't do that.
Author matt1221 Posted February 12, 2018 Author Posted February 12, 2018 If your girlfriend doesn't behave like that with everyone else- it does raise suspicion. It sounds like she's being flirtatious to keep her options open. I'd keep an eye on it for sure. Have you told her that you heard about this? No, I don't know that she only does it with him. I haven't seen or heard about her doing stuff like that with anyone else. I'm confident they aren't hooking up, but not confident that she doesn't have feelings for him.
snowboy91 Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 If he was a close friend, it's possible that it's a part of the dynamic of their friendship. Some friendships are weird like that. It can be awkward for new partners, but it's fine as long as it doesn't escalate. What is worrying though is a) they aren't that close (from what you know), b) she's only done it the last few times and c) you weren't there. You really should bring this up with her and see if you can work out what her version of the story is. Her reaction will tell you all you need to know.
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 Why would she waste her time with me if she likes him? And no, I wouldn't do that. Spoken (written) like the honest person you are. If she indeed does like him, she may like him in addition to you. Some people like lots of attention for validation. But, some have pointed out if she does this with everyone else it might not mean anything at all. To me it's a red flag even if she does it with everyone else because it puts her in a vague position with the opposite sex. There may be one or two men who take it the wrong way and think it's an open door for getting to know her better. Also, since someone told you about it, it seems there is at least one other person who thinks it might not be the best idea. Not sure if I'd mention it to her or not at this point. The only reason I'd ask her about it, I believe, is if you intend to part ways with her over it. If not, and if she does like this guy and is flirting with a purpose with him, then she'll probably just go further underground with her efforts to charm him. Guess I'd have to know more about her behavior and your relationship in order to make a clear call but her calling another guy babe sure doesn't sound the best to me.
Author matt1221 Posted February 12, 2018 Author Posted February 12, 2018 If he was a close friend, it's possible that it's a part of the dynamic of their friendship. Some friendships are weird like that. It can be awkward for new partners, but it's fine as long as it doesn't escalate. What is worrying though is a) they aren't that close (from what you know), b) she's only done it the last few times and c) you weren't there. You really should bring this up with her and see if you can work out what her version of the story is. Her reaction will tell you all you need to know. I mean they have probably known each other for 4 years or so so they're friendly. But it's definitely not a brother sister relationship. They basically see each other through other friends. They will hug each other when they first see each other. But even when they were both single they wouldn't text each other to meet up. They would meet up between mutual friends.
act00 Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 I don't think it's appropriate at all. If this was how she treated all her friends, male or female, it would be different, even if you don't like it. It would also be problematic if she only did this with male friends/acquaintances...she does it with just this one guy. It might be worth having a discussion about and letting her know you don't like this behavior. You live far from each other and LDRs can be really hard, but here she has this flirtatious thing going with some dude who lives closer. You have no idea if she's going to dump you for him. A discussion about your relationship and flirting with this guy needs to be discussed so that you can move along if this relationship is reaching an end. 1
FilterCoffee Posted February 12, 2018 Posted February 12, 2018 Basically it boils down to this: Any behavior she WILL do when you are not around that she WON'T do in front of you is inappropriate. That’s the best definition I’ve ever come across.
Author matt1221 Posted February 13, 2018 Author Posted February 13, 2018 I don't think it's appropriate at all. If this was how she treated all her friends, male or female, it would be different, even if you don't like it. It would also be problematic if she only did this with male friends/acquaintances...she does it with just this one guy. It might be worth having a discussion about and letting her know you don't like this behavior. You live far from each other and LDRs can be really hard, but here she has this flirtatious thing going with some dude who lives closer. You have no idea if she's going to dump you for him. A discussion about your relationship and flirting with this guy needs to be discussed so that you can move along if this relationship is reaching an end. Well we see each other every weekend for the most part. My friends all live near her.
Author matt1221 Posted March 3, 2019 Author Posted March 3, 2019 She gave him a quick goodbye kiss on the mouth according to a friend.
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