soulseek Posted February 11, 2018 Posted February 11, 2018 Matched with a guy on tinder, and through conversation we both expressed frustration with online dating. Some great advice was given by him to just focus on a few to see where the relationships goes, over attempting to talk to a handful of guys at once. Week of talking goes by, he mentions he's focusing on me. We meet for coffee and all goes well. He texts me right after and continues to express interest. Now.. i live on the edge of the city, and he lives in a town about 30km away. When we met, he drove to the city.. our meeting location was about 6km away from my place. The next morning, I send him a message. He took over 1.5 hours to reply (which is unusual for him) and I noticed that again his location was about 6km away from me.. Meaning he was back in the city.. when he finally replied he said that he had spent the morning watching tv and cleaning his house. Now.. online dating world exposes singles to a ton of other available people. I would never expect this guy to stop seeing people this soon. However, I have a feeling that he was on another date and covered it up? I met with him again and things went really well. Randomly through conversation, he brought up to me that the reason he didn't respond for that 1.5 was because he fell asleep (who falls back asleep at 1130 AM?!) How would you guys navigate this? I expect him to be seeing other people at this stage. I am struggling with this feeling of 'thinking' that he's lying.. but in this case would it be strange to straight up say... "yeah sorry i was on a date?" Is this something I should let go? or see as a bit of a flag?
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2018 Posted February 11, 2018 Calm down about the time it took him to respond. That is no big deal. You are probably correct that he was out with someone else & you are correct that he has every right to date others. The problem is the lie. He could have just been silent. He didn't have to lie but he did. If he lies about stuff like this, you have to assume he has a causal relationship with the truth & therefore you can't trust him. I'd be inclined to take a pass. 1
Author soulseek Posted February 11, 2018 Author Posted February 11, 2018 I struggle a bit with this situation because on Friday morning I expressed full weekend availability to another match I had already met a few days before... When he texted me to hang out Saturday... i delayed my response time for 3 hours to see if the other guy was going to ask me to hang out.. he did ask me to hang out, so i had to tell the other guy i wasn't available now until Sunday.. Maybe I am just trying to justify this guys actions by comparing myself.. In ways, I did do the same thing.. did i not?
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2018 Posted February 11, 2018 You didn't lie. Again if he had just stayed silent no problem. You didn't tell the other guy when you were home when you were really out with the 1st guy. People are allowed to multi date. They shouldn't like about it, even to spare someone's feelings.
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