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Freezing...left or right? can't make up my mind...

Springsummer

By Springsummer
in General Relationship Discussion

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

Posted
Posted (edited)

This man is freezing on my Tinder (starting using it again, have yet to meet any man), because I can't decide no or yes.

 

The thing is I have met this person a few times in meetups in real life over the years. He is one of one or two guys I have ever found slightly interesting in my years of going to meetup events. (I am not that picky. it's just this city is pathetic).

 

The key word is SLIGHTLY. I am not really into him, I think, but he seems alright. The thing is he is in my age group, doesn't look old, have a decent job, kind of good looking.

 

I feel that he kind of interested in me. Of course, I might be very wrong about it. on a hiking meetup, he recounted every details of the last meetup we were in and suggested I should organize it to keep it going. when I said no one will go if I organize it, he said he will go....

 

Haven't seen him in the last couple of years. gotten too lazy to go to any meetups...

 

before the last time I quit Tinder, he showed up, I swipe left. now I reactivate, I am hesitated to swipe left again this time. If I do, he might no show up again? I don't know...should I be just practical? getting older and older, and it's really no funny to be alone forever...

 

of course no idea if he sees me and swipe left or right...

 

the thing now is, I can't move on with Tinder...what to do? what to do?

Edited by Springsummer
basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

I've got to be honest, if you're finding no good single men in your whole city, I think the problem is that you're too choosy. Sure, if it was a little country town where you know everyone, it may be a different story. But this is a CITY with I assume more than a few thousand single men? Yeah, that's on you.

 

That said, I wouldn't bother with a guy who you're not into. But I would spend a bit of time working out why you've got such a high rate of not being attracted to anyone.

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road Established Member

road

Posted
Posted

 

I feel that he kind of interested in me. Of course, I might be very wrong about it. on a hiking meetup, he recounted every details of the last meetup we were in and suggested I should organize it to keep it going. when I said no one will go if I organize it, he said he will go....

 

 

I do not know you, not even your age. So I will not guess as to why

you are not getting men to ask you to be their girlfriend.

 

What I do know is that this man was very interested in you. He used

the I would go if you were ploy.

 

He could lack some confidence, touch shy. You know enough courage

to talk to you but afraid to directly ask you out.

 

So when he said: I would if you would, I bet he was hoping you

would of said lets do "this" next Saturday.

 

There is the movie "as good as it gets" the mother says to her single

mom daughter: you do not turn down a man that is willing to provide

health insurance for your daughter just because he is a little crazy, this

is as good as it gets.

CautiouslyOptimistic Established Member

CautiouslyOptimistic

Posted
Posted

Oh just swipe right (if that means "yes."). As I tell my friend who is doing OLD right now, a swipe does not mean "I do." :)

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Oh just swipe right (if that means "yes."). As I tell my friend who is doing OLD right now, a swipe does not mean "I do." :)

 

Yes, that's what I would do with strangers. and matches generally don't even message me first anyway(can you believe it?) so, yes on Tinder really means NOTHING. but with someone you already know, it seems complicated.

  • Author
Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I've got to be honest, if you're finding no good single men in your whole city, I think the problem is that you're too choosy. Sure, if it was a little country town where you know everyone, it may be a different story. But this is a CITY with I assume more than a few thousand single men? Yeah, that's on you.

 

That said, I wouldn't bother with a guy who you're not into. But I would spend a bit of time working out why you've got such a high rate of not being attracted to anyone.

 

not the whole city. I don't have a social circle. I don't know much people in the city.

 

Just men in meetups and OLD. I don't think they represent the whole city. but that's generally the only ways I see men.

 

yes, I am choosy. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I don't want a man who is not choosy. Any long as it's reasonable. I probably was a bit unreasonable when I was younger. I think I am quite reasonable now.

 

Yes, i did wonder why some women can just find someone instantly and easily. and wonder why I don't easily find someone attractive. could it be that I am asexual and lesbian? I thought about that. the answer seems to be a resounding no. not at all actually.

  • Author
Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I do not know you, not even your age. So I will not guess as to why

you are not getting men to ask you to be their girlfriend.

 

What I do know is that this man was very interested in you. He used

the I would go if you were ploy.

 

He could lack some confidence, touch shy. You know enough courage

to talk to you but afraid to directly ask you out.

 

So when he said: I would if you would, I bet he was hoping you

would of said lets do "this" next Saturday.

 

There is the movie "as good as it gets" the mother says to her single

mom daughter: you do not turn down a man that is willing to provide

health insurance for your daughter just because he is a little crazy, this

is as good as it gets.

 

yes, after he said he will go. I didn't response. maybe I was a 'bad' person.

 

I don't know. I am not a single mother. and now I have insurance. we are actually in a same job classification and similar level in the gov now. I know it may not be your point. I don't know if he is as good as it gets. the major reason he is freezing in my app I guess.

  • Author
Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

Posted
  • Author
Posted

oh, never mind, issue just solved by itself. I just opened the app and he is not the first pic show up anymore.

 

I don't know, maybe I accidentally hit the no or yes button? or maybe Tinder will refresh the image after a day or two? or I restart my phone then Tinder search got reset? any way it's not a concern now.

 

Thank you all for the response.

  • Author
Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Another question though. It seems I have got a quite high match rate (after I hit yes, it's a match)....but but...rarely they msg me first, why is that? ? ? are they shy (don't think so)? expect me to msg first(hell no)?

Purepony Established Member

Purepony

Posted
Posted

Yeah you gotta put some work in and compromise a bit

It sounds to me you want what you want on your terms. If you keep that up you probably won’t get much of tinder other than a few hook ups

 

I hope it works out for you

Chilli Established Member

Chilli

Posted
Posted

Eh spring.

l really don't think your being to picky . lf no one's hit the spot what are you suppose to do , waste time going on silly dates with someone your not even interested in ?

waste of time ! Even the guy at meetup, your not even into him anyway so really does it even matter.

 

Don't understand these app things but God they sound bad. But anyway the whole game of it also sounds like some stupid cat mouse thing, l mean if a guy likes you wth wouldn't he just message you.

 

Your city sounds like mine , l need to get outa here that damn bad.

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