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Girl flaking on me after a few solid dates. Should I just let her make the move now?

Krazy47

By Krazy47
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Krazy47 Member

Krazy47

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So everything seems to be going well with a girl I’ve gone on a few dates with. Plenty of kissing and even stayed over one night. Pretty much small talk texting throughout the day. Not constantly but enough to make it roll the most of the day.

 

Was supposed to have my friends meet her friends last night, and kind of dragged my friends out just to meet her and her friends.

 

She says her group is going to the other side of town and basically they’re not coming after I'm already out. Invites me to come but I pretty much said it’s too much of a hassle now and I’m down to meet up tmrw (today).

 

She said she has plans but basically said let’s grab breakfast and asked when I wanted to go.

 

Couple hours after the set time today I finally hear from her. Pretty much says sorry got to drunk and basically too hungover. W/e I wasn’t going to at that point anyways regardless if she was still down.

 

My gut tells me she’s lost interest, and I should just let it be at this point and cut the texting. I think trying to keep rescheduling something in the future is just going to come off as annoying and clingy. At this point she knows I’m interested and I figure if she still is too she’ll make an effort. Or am I being dramatic? Lol. Mainly annoyed I dragged my friends out just to meet up with them, but Idt she really knows that. Shes 22 im 24 if it matters.

phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted

you got it right.

let her be.

 

possible her friends decided something different to do.

likely she is hung over also.

 

but, it's on her to make it up to you.

Highndry Established Member

Highndry

Posted
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I'd dump a gal who was too hungover to follow through with plans. It tells me she has a drinking problem first and foremost, and that she's a flake because of it.

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Krazy47 Member

Krazy47

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you got it right.

let her be.

 

possible her friends decided something different to do.

likely she is hung over also.

 

but, it's on her to make it up to you.

 

Ya if she doesn’t know what she did then I think that just furthers she’s not worth pursuing. I guess time will tell

 

I'd dump a gal who was too hungover to follow through with plans. It tells me she has a drinking problem first and foremost, and that she's a flake because of it.

 

Ya she keeps telling me how drunk she’s been getting recently after moving here. I think she’s always lived with sheltered parents and now going buck wild in a city with a good night life

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Your plan may guarantee that you never hear from her again. She probably knows that she was in the wrong but is too embarrassed (or uninterested) to do anything about it.

 

I'd wait until later today then shoot her a quick text asking how the hangover is. Nothing more. No offer of a date . . .just an inquiry. Do leave it to her to arrange your next date if there is one.

 

You are probably right about her wanting to be single & free. That was a pretty rotten thing for her to bail on having her friends meet yours.

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Krazy47 Member

Krazy47

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Your plan may guarantee that you never hear from her again. She probably knows that she was in the wrong but is too embarrassed (or uninterested) to do anything about it.

 

I'd wait until later today then shoot her a quick text asking how the hangover is. Nothing more. No offer of a date . . .just an inquiry. Do leave it to her to arrange your next date if there is one.

 

You are probably right about her wanting to be single & free. That was a pretty rotten thing for her to bail on having her friends meet yours.

 

Not a bad idea. I might take your advice on this. I know she’s doing some sight seeing today. I’ll probably ask her how it was tonight.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
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Not a bad idea. I might take your advice on this. I know she’s doing some sight seeing today. I’ll probably ask her how it was tonight.

 

Wait a minute . . . she's too hung over to spend time with you but has enough energy to go sight seeing? Dude, she's not that into you.

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SevenCity Established Member

SevenCity

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Wait a minute . . . she's too hung over to spend time with you but has enough energy to go sight seeing? Dude, she's not that into you.

 

That was apparent when she flaked on him and why he should reach out at all.

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Krazy47 Member

Krazy47

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Wait a minute . . . she's too hung over to spend time with you but has enough energy to go sight seeing? Dude, she's not that into you.

 

Two different days here. Saturday was hangover day, Sunday she’s sight seeing. I’ve known she was sight seeing since our last date on weds

 

More details on Saturday, she already has plans to meet up with friends later afternoon. So basically she woke up late and then didn’t have any time to follow through on her plan.

 

She keeps texting and snap chatting me it’s odd. I’m feeling like I’m her go to when her friends are busy

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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Meh, I wouldn't bother with a girl who gets too drunk to handle a date the following day.

 

She's young and out having her fun and being single. She's not wrong for that, mind you, but she doesn't appear to be taking you seriously either. This isn't someone that's on the same page as you.

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Krazy47 Member

Krazy47

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Ya that’s kind of why I’m cutting communications. I don’t. Red a texting/Snapchat buddy. I have plenty of friends and family for that. Might also add she’s from Latin America and has been in the states for 4 weeks. I’m wondering if there’s a cultural difference and just not realizing what she’s doing.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Good lord, she had a good time with her friends...why is that such a sin? It was one bloody night her friends wanted to go somewhere different....plans do change, especially when you have more people involved, it happens. Yes it was crappy that happened...you are not exclusive, you only had a few dates, so you are not a priority yet. Some people are like that.

 

OP she will see you again. It will be up to you in how you want to or not to approach this. Let her reach out. If she doesn't and you really think she's worth a shot, ask her out next week. Or just write her off. You are a big boy you can definitely figure this out.

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Krazy47 Member

Krazy47

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Good lord, she had a good time with her friends...why is that such a sin? It was one bloody night her friends wanted to go somewhere different....plans do change, especially when you have more people involved, it happens. Yes it was crappy that happened...you are not exclusive, you only had a few dates, so you are not a priority yet. Some people are like that.

 

OP she will see you again. It will be up to you in how you want to or not to approach this. Let her reach out. If she doesn't and you really think she's worth a shot, ask her out next week. Or just write her off. You are a big boy you can definitely figure this out.

 

I agree with you. Hence why I’m here. I’m not making a big deal about Friday night. She invited me to the new plans and I said no. What irks me is Saturday and being blown off for that.

 

My thought was by me continuing to pester her for new plans seemed like a bad idea. I’m responding to her text I’m just not putting an effort into making the conversation roll.

Edited by Krazy47
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Krazy47 Member

Krazy47

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Well for the record I decided to not play games. Asked her how her trip was today and just kept it brief and ended off with a quick lmk if you want to meet up this week. As of now we’re set for Tuesday, I decided Valentine’s Day might be too “serious” for this girl, she gave me the option to pick tues or weds, I went with Tuesday.

 

I like her and figured I’d always have regrets just writing her off. Still going to cut the communication off quite a bit, but I thought I approached this rather smoothly.

 

Ultimately when your with friends plans can change, and I know where she was when she got too drunk is a spot that’s kind of known for that. Especially if your not used to their stupidly cheap and LARGE drinks.

snowboy91 Established Member

snowboy91

Posted
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She flaked once, because the night got away and she had a few too many. It happens, she had a good time, the optimist in me is saying she woke up AFTER when you were supposed to meet and thought "oh ****, I've missed breakfast...". I'd consider flaking a problem if it becomes a habit.

 

At the same time, she's young and only been in the US for 4 weeks. I don't think there's really any long term potential here, but that's not a reason not to just go along and see what happens.

Soul Bear Established Member

Soul Bear

Posted
Posted
So everything seems to be going well with a girl I’ve gone on a few dates with. Plenty of kissing and even stayed over one night. Pretty much small talk texting throughout the day. Not constantly but enough to make it roll the most of the day.

 

Was supposed to have my friends meet her friends last night, and kind of dragged my friends out just to meet her and her friends.

 

She says her group is going to the other side of town and basically they’re not coming after I'm already out. Invites me to come but I pretty much said it’s too much of a hassle now and I’m down to meet up tmrw (today).

 

She said she has plans but basically said let’s grab breakfast and asked when I wanted to go.

 

Couple hours after the set time today I finally hear from her. Pretty much says sorry got to drunk and basically too hungover. W/e I wasn’t going to at that point anyways regardless if she was still down.

 

My gut tells me she’s lost interest, and I should just let it be at this point and cut the texting. I think trying to keep rescheduling something in the future is just going to come off as annoying and clingy. At this point she knows I’m interested and I figure if she still is too she’ll make an effort. Or am I being dramatic? Lol. Mainly annoyed I dragged my friends out just to meet up with them, but Idt she really knows that. Shes 22 im 24 if it matters.

 

 

Always trust your gut instinct. Especially If it's never let you down.

Stop the texting and chasing, if she wants you, she will bang your door down!

If you want to say anything, maybe just leave the ball in her court and tell her that if she wants to reschedule jusy to let you know. Don't hang on it tho

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Krazy47 Member

Krazy47

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Ya there is no long term potential here I knew that going in. This is the first girl I’ve “dated” after a really long term relationship. The past couple weeks I’ve barley thought about my ex.

 

And ya I felt like I still had to let her know I’m still interested. Normally I take charge of making plans and this time I just said told her to let me know if she wants to do anything and I have her some days to choose from

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