Lloyd4Christmas Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 After years of reading the forums behind the scene, I have finally joined. Unfortunately for me, the internal pain I am feeling has caused me to reach and share my story.... Guys I am struggling right now because I am having a hard time processing the sudden events that unfolded last weekend. Some background: ME:early 30's, good career, educated and grew up in a loving, two parent home. I would say I had an easy childhood, nothing too stressful or tragic to complain about. HER: early 30's, divorced with an emotionally abusive ex, dad left home when she was 12, step brother died when she was 16. Mother was not nurturing. So complete opposite from me. My Story: Last summer I began dating a woman who I will call Sadface. I met Sadface on a dating site, she was freshly divorced and had a 6 month old baby. I was ok with that because I am in my 30's and these type of things are normal. Early in the relationship she confesses that she goes to therapy because her ex husband was verbally and emotionally abusive. She also tells me that she is a recovering opiate addict, after having foot surgery and not being able to kick the pills. I am very understanding and accepting though, and have had my own things in the past, so I was ok with all this. To me it was the past and her and I were the future. I don't want to make this a novel, so I am just going cut to chase. Our relationship was great, zero fighting and tons in common. Our sex was incredible. She had told me that she never connected physically like this with anyone. She would tell me everyday how amazing I was, how happy her heart was for the first time in her life, how she has never been able to be silly like this with anyone... that kind of stuff. I started thinking Sadface could be future wife material. We only saw each other a couple times a week, due to work, and her having her baby. I was ok with that. Fast forward to a few weeks ago, and Sadface has a breakdown over the upcoming custody battle for her son. She tells me literally out of nowhere that she doesn't think we can be together. I'm heartbroken. The next day she texts me and tells me she is too messed up and I deserve way better. then sends me a second text saying she feels like using again. So I rush over because I want her to be safe. I stay with her and she confesses to me how much she is struggling with everything from her past. It's at this point I relay to her how much I care about her and how I would do anything for her and that I am not going anywhere. She was shocked, she thought I was going to run, but I didn't. After this everything became real, I was convinced that I would marry her. She stayed with me 4-5 nights a week, her dog moved into my house, and she would make plans for our future basically telling me "you're never going to get rid of me" and I was happy with that. Last Friday was her son's 1st bday and unfortunately he was with his dad. Sadface decided to isolate herself that night. I asked her if she wanted me to come over and she said no. I asked her all night if she was ok and she said "yes", and "thanks for checking". She texted me at 2 am telling me she missed me and couldn't wait to see me in the morning. That was the last text I got from her. She showed up at my house at noon and said she didn't think we could be together anymore. spent a couple of hours going back and forth in her own head while I just sat there confused. She held me for a couple mins started kissing me, and then walked out and left (with all her stuff) and I haven't heard from her since. I've been in multiple long term relationships that lasted years each, and none have hit me like this. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I feel like there is no point in anything anymore. I reached out to her on Thursday night, but got no response. I am crushed, and the pain inside my chest is unreal. I can't comprehend anything that has happened. I fear I will never know and that she will never reach back out to me. I apologize for how long this post was. Any insight or advice is welcome
Marc878 Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 She has major FOO and addiction issues. You are a REBOUND. If you're smart you run!!!!!
Author Lloyd4Christmas Posted February 10, 2018 Author Posted February 10, 2018 She has major FOO and addiction issues. You are a REBOUND. If you're smart you run!!!!! Yeah that is a possibility. I realized I said she was freshly divorced, she had been separated from her ex for over a year at when we first started dating. She hadn't dated anyone else in between. Thanks for your thoughts, I probably should have ran at the start.
SevenCity Posted February 11, 2018 Posted February 11, 2018 Yea unfortunately you can't fix stuff like this. All you can do is avoid it in the future. I dated this chick for a year and it took me 2 years to get over her. My last one I dated for 7 and thought for sure she would be my wife. I'm 1.5 years out and still feel the pain and hopelessness of finding someone with whom I can love as deeply. It's early days for you now and this will be a tough journey. It will get better, but it's gonna suck and take way longer than you think. Just know a lot of us here went or are going through the same thing. Hang in there brother. 1
Author Lloyd4Christmas Posted February 11, 2018 Author Posted February 11, 2018 Yea unfortunately you can't fix stuff like this. All you can do is avoid it in the future. I dated this chick for a year and it took me 2 years to get over her. My last one I dated for 7 and thought for sure she would be my wife. I'm 1.5 years out and still feel the pain and hopelessness of finding someone with whom I can love as deeply. It's early days for you now and this will be a tough journey. It will get better, but it's gonna suck and take way longer than you think. Just know a lot of us here went or are going through the same thing. Hang in there brother. Thanks man, little stuff like that helps one get through the rough nights. Like you, I've been in this situation before, and I know eventually it gets better... It's the wondering what happened part that eats at me
SevenCity Posted February 11, 2018 Posted February 11, 2018 Thanks man, little stuff like that helps one get through the rough nights. Like you, I've been in this situation before, and I know eventually it gets better... It's the wondering what happened part that eats at me I know what you mean. To this day I have no idea. You have to become comfortable with the fact you will never know.
Marc878 Posted February 11, 2018 Posted February 11, 2018 You are way to young to waste your time and life on a project like this. Get out of the White Kinight Syndrome
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