JennFoss Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 So I’m recently single and I’m not ready to date yet but just the thought overwhelms me. Where do I meet good decent men, I’m thinking Tinder isn’t the answer here. 1
winny Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 Stay single for a while and don't think about men
losangelena Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 I meet guys at work, but I work at a 3,000-person technology company. It's crawling with dudes. 2
alphamale Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 It's crawling with dudes. yeah but the vast majority of them are nerds
losangelena Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 yeah but the vast majority of them are nerds Haha, true! Though in the venn diagram of "nerds" and "men that are worth meeting," there's significant overlap. 6
NopeNah Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 yeah but the vast majority of them are nerds jesus. As a guy,Op..I'm not sure.. 75% of the dates/relationships I get involved in are from mutual friends introducing me/her. The other 25% or so I meet randomly while out and about living life. I don't online date.
winny Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 yeah but the vast majority of them are nerds Whats wrong with nerds? 1
Author JennFoss Posted February 10, 2018 Author Posted February 10, 2018 Stay single for a while and don't think about men LOL I’m running out of time. Not to sound desperate
Author JennFoss Posted February 10, 2018 Author Posted February 10, 2018 sports bar on a game day Will I be the only girl there? I’ve no idea?
NopeNah Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 Will I be the only girl there? I’ve no idea? Not at all,but prepare to be 'targeted' a lot. Have a group of 3-5 gf friends go with you one night and don't go to a dive sports bar..There's nice ones pretty much everywhere. 1
losangelena Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 Will I be the only girl there? I’ve no idea? You probably won't be the only woman but you will be in the minority (more so than usual). When my fave basketball team makes it to the finals, I tend to go to bars to watch the games. I almost always get hit on. On the one hand, it's nice to know that you already have something in common, but on the other hand, it can be quite annoying having to compete with a guy's attention while he's cheering on the game. I would recommend only if this is something you'd normally do/enjoy.
NopeNah Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 You probably won't be the only woman but you will be in the minority (more so than usual). When my fave basketball team makes it to the finals, I tend to go to bars to watch the games. I almost always get hit on. On the one hand, it's nice to know that you already have something in common, but on the other hand, it can be quite annoying having to compete with a guy's attention while he's cheering on the game. I would recommend only if this is something you'd normally do/enjoy. Who's your favorite BBall team?
mortensorchid Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 Nerds desirable? Unless he has millions / billions of dollars like Bill Gates (and you're looking for that specifically), you are looking at a guy like Comic Book Store Guy from The Simpsons. Fact.
FilterCoffee Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 Nerds desirable? Unless he has millions / billions of dollars like Bill Gates (and you're looking for that specifically), you are looking at a guy like Comic Book Store Guy from The Simpsons. Fact. No no no no. There are so many cool nerds. You’re very wrong. 7
winny Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 Nerds desirable? Unless he has millions / billions of dollars like Bill Gates (and you're looking for that specifically), you are looking at a guy like Comic Book Store Guy from The Simpsons. Fact. Stop stereotyping based on what television and movies feed you about nerds... LOL 4
mortensorchid Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 I have never met a cool nerd. I have met doctor nerds, computer nerds, video game nerds, etc. They are all Comic Book Store Guy, not all as fat.
Highndry Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 If a nerd was cool, he's not a nerd. Just sayin'... 1
losangelena Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 Who's your favorite BBall team? The Clippers, of course! I am from Lob City. Not crazy about their recent roster changes. CP3 leaving and Griffin getting traded. It'll be interesting to see how long they can keep DeAndre on the team, especially since they practically had to stage an intervention a few years ago to keep him. We shall see. Some of the excitement is definitely gone, though.
d0nnivain Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 So I’m recently single and I’m not ready to date yet but just the thought overwhelms me. Where do I meet good decent men, I’m thinking Tinder isn’t the answer here. LOL I’m running out of time. Not to sound desperate Ahhhh . . . until you reconcile the above you should not date. If you are ready to date, great. If you are dating because you hear a biological clock ticking any guy within in 100 yards of you will smell the desperation. There will be tons of men in any given sports bar during any given sporting events. I wouldn't go to such a place solo unless you are a true fan, there for the game not the guys. You can meet men at work . . . not just your company but in your building, the regulars you see at lunch, vendors etc. Attend work related things like workshops, continuing education, conventions, chambers of commerce, networking functions etc. Ask friends & co-workers for introductions Attend Meet-Up groups that interest you. Join a co-ed sports team Get involved in a hobby you enjoy Volunteer somewhere doing something you are passionate about: rescuing animals, protesting, working in politics, raising money to fight a disease, working in the arts etc. 1
Sunlight72 Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 I second d0nnivain - volunteer. I'd add that when you do, really go and just be open to pitching in toward something you care about. Most volunteering is easy, so don't be concerned about that, but I do recommend if you go to meet someone, just be friendly with the idea of meeting nice people and helping out. Men or women as friends. I've met great people volunteering, it's really rewarding! Everyone I remember meeting was really positive. It will also help you get life in perspective, which I think will help with dating/choosing someone to date/deciding how important dating is or isn't to you right now.
winny Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 I have never met a cool nerd. I have met doctor nerds, computer nerds, video game nerds, etc. They are all Comic Book Store Guy, not all as fat. Do you consider yourself cool? 1
Sunlight72 Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 Workshops and classes are also a great place to meet people who are directing their lives (not just idling/drifting). Thinking about it, I have gotten dates from workshops (cooking, perfume making, language classes, group surf lessons, dance lessons, a long day bus trip to a tourist spot and back). It's great because you are introduced to a whole group of people, so you don't have pressure of one-on-one with someone you're not interested in, and it's easy to leave the event without anyone being disappointed if you don't give them your number if you're not feeling it, since that wasn't the point of the day anyway. You're all doing something fun, and if you end up having an ongoing conversation with someone, you get a feel for them and how they interact with people generally. It's quite natural to invite them or be invited to make dinner together, practice your new language, practice your new dance steps, go surfing together on another day, etc. 1
Sunlight72 Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 Nerds desirable? Unless he has millions / billions of dollars like Bill Gates (and you're looking for that specifically), you are looking at a guy like Comic Book Store Guy from The Simpsons. Fact.Mmmm, not fact. A 3,000 person tech company like losangelena mentioned is not 3,000 reclusive dweebs. I only know seven software engineers, and one would clearly fit the socially awkward nerd picture, but one (a single woman) also owns a wine bar, one has played in various original and cover rock and punk bands for about 15 years and is married and a father, one vacations with his wife and daughter while snorkeling off Corsica, or skiing in the Austrian Alps, etc., one sails his 45' sail boat with his family and designed and built their house, and two are a married couple who mountain bike the Colorado Rockies together and summit 14,000 foot mountains on the weekends. JennFoss asked where people would recommend to meet "good decent men". Family oriented men with careers seems like what she's asking about, and tech companies are (from my limited exposure) a good place to find them, and are not simply drop-off points for mothers to leave their adult sons in order to get them out of the basement. I have never met a cool nerd. I have met doctor nerds, computer nerds, video game nerds, etc. They are all Comic Book Store Guy, not all as fat.If that's your experience, I can see why you'd have that opinion. I just wanted to note that there is a difference between people who are only socially skilled enough to survive, and people who have careers in technology. They're not intrinsically related. 1
mortensorchid Posted February 10, 2018 Posted February 10, 2018 Do you consider yourself cool? I do. I am the coolest girl you would ever want to meet. 1
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