No Foolin Posted August 26, 2005 Posted August 26, 2005 Hey........... Simple question: What are you planning to do about your situation now that you are alone? That, is what you should be asking yourself. Not, what does this text message, morse code, phone call, pony express, look, letter, telex, mean. Not, calling your ex and sounding like a complete no self-esteem primate. Not, planting yourself in the familiar locations so you can "accidentally:rolleyes: " run into your ex. Please someone attempt to explain to me why they can't live without their ex. Unless you have some proximity explosive device implanted on you both and you can't go 500 feet away from her/him without losing parts of your corpse; you really are doing this to yourself. Picture this: It is you that is kicking yourself in the nuts and or pelvis. Every phone call or attempt to get back into the womb is going to end in disaster. Your only alternative is to sack up, stand up and make plans, and put one foot in front of the other. Or you can sit on your couch all wrapped up in a quilt drinking "sleepy time tea" feeling sorry for yourself and fold. Just remember simply, you have been through this before. Why is this any different? No Foolin
Fallen_Angel Posted August 26, 2005 Posted August 26, 2005 You're awesome, No Foolin. Unfortunately this is the first time my heart has been broken to this degree. All the other rejections I've experienced (and there have been a few!) totally pale in comparison. I like knowing that should this even happen again, I'll be better prepared. But right now I'm still in the "I don't think I could stomach another relationship" mentality. At least I don't worry about running into my ex, accidentally or not. Ok, on occasion I wonder if there's the remote possibility I'd see him on the highway, since my route to work partially involves driving on the route to where he now lives. But I think the chances are slim to none. And I can go close to 8 hours without thinking about him (sans lunch, anyway). Work is overwhelming, in a good way. I know I can fully well live without my ex on a physical level. Though sometimes...hehe. Like a lot of other posters, I have trouble cutting the emotional cord, despite logic and despite all of the wonderfully sound advice floating around here. Sigh.
At Peace Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 No Foolin, You make it sound so easy to follow the guidelines..when it's not.It's not like losing your keys, when you've been dumped. Your self esteem has been crushed. And then there is the denial. Hoiw could someone you loved not want you...so we hang on to a shred of hope. We've exchanged post and I'm coming around, but it was by no means easy. It was in phases. In the beginning I was hurt then I told myself I was ok and then I stepped back into it only to be crushed again (this was even after reading your guidelines) I thought I could be the exception...you were right though. No one is ever going to listen to the guidelines in the beginning because we are still clinging to the hope that they made a mistake and didn't mean it to dump us, hurt us....people that we were intimate with it...s hard to accept that they could so easily and blithely cast us aside.
Guest Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 Why you can't leave without your ex... Usually people havn't been thru it before to that degree. That's the keypoint. If the heartbreak was less than you've experienced before, it's easier to let go. When it significantly higher it takes longer to move on. Couple that with the fact a majority of the cases discussed here are because the person was dumped. Translation: they were devalued by their ex. When both situations occur, facing a greater heartbreak that before and having yourself self-esteem lowered greatly in one fell swoop, it can be a hard pill to swallow all at once. Time and rediscovering your self-value take exactly that, time and experiences. It's normal to make mistakes in the recovery process, to stumble and fall in getting back up. What is of paramount importance is cultivating the desire, the will to move on. Originally posted by No Foolin Hey........... Simple question: What are you planning to do about your situation now that you are alone? That, is what you should be asking yourself. Not, what does this text message, morse code, phone call, pony express, look, letter, telex, mean. Not, calling your ex and sounding like a complete no self-esteem primate. Not, planting yourself in the familiar locations so you can "accidentally:rolleyes: " run into your ex. Please someone attempt to explain to me why they can't live without their ex. Unless you have some proximity explosive device implanted on you both and you can't go 500 feet away from her/him without losing parts of your corpse; you really are doing this to yourself. Picture this: It is you that is kicking yourself in the nuts and or pelvis. Every phone call or attempt to get back into the womb is going to end in disaster. Your only alternative is to sack up, stand up and make plans, and put one foot in front of the other. Or you can sit on your couch all wrapped up in a quilt drinking "sleepy time tea" feeling sorry for yourself and fold. Just remember simply, you have been through this before. Why is this any different? No Foolin
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