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Why is he not kissing me / trying to have sex with me?

Girl720

By Girl720
in Dating

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While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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Girl720 Member

Girl720

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If he is telling you about other girls he is going out with and is not making evening (or more frequent) date plans with you, then he sees you as a new friend. Keep dating other guys!

 

My girl friend has an OKCupid profile just for hookups and the guy I met came up for her, so she messaged him (to see if he would talk to anybody) and he replied & wanted to meet up with her. (Granted she doesn't put her real pic so he doesn't and will never know :confused: ). As for the "day dates", I told him I prefered to hang out while there was light the first times... for my own safety. Of course if things progressed, I'd like to go dancing and drinking... but I think I should date others if we're not on the same page. Thanks for your input!

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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my girl friend has an okcupid profile just for hookups and the guy i met came up for her, so she messaged him (to see if he would talk to anybody) and he replied & wanted to meet up with her. (granted she doesn't put her real pic

.................ಠ_ಠ

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Girl720 Member

Girl720

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.................ಠ_ಠ

 

I know... :(

hotpotato Established Member

hotpotato

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Maybe he likes you and is being a gentlemen. He may also be afraid sex will give you the wrong impression. Would you be ok with it if he had sex with you, then the next day started dating some other chic? Perhaps he's being thoughtful.

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William Established Member

William

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Three threads merged on the same dating interaction and please continue the discussion here. Thanks!

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Girl720 Member

Girl720

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Maybe he likes you and is being a gentlemen. He may also be afraid sex will give you the wrong impression. Would you be ok with it if he had sex with you, then the next day started dating some other chic? Perhaps he's being thoughtful.

 

I definitely wouldn't want to be a rotationary girl... one, because sex is intimate and I would probably catch real feelings plus I don't want any STD risk.

 

Maybe he is doing me a favor...

Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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This guy. He's looking for hookups or friends. He'll take whatever he can get.

olivetree Established Member

olivetree

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Yeah, reading your original OP, you need to move on.

You don't want the same things.

And he doesn't seem too interested.

jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

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My girl friend has an OKCupid profile just for hookups and the guy I met came up for her, so she messaged him (to see if he would talk to anybody) and he replied & wanted to meet up with her. (Granted she doesn't put her real pic so he doesn't and will never know :confused: ). As for the "day dates", I told him I prefered to hang out while there was light the first times... for my own safety. Of course if things progressed, I'd like to go dancing and drinking... but I think I should date others if we're not on the same page. Thanks for your input!

 

I don't understand why you're still concerned a month later. He doesn't seem to be showing much interest.

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Girl720 Member

Girl720

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This guy. He's looking for hookups or friends. He'll take whatever he can get.

 

I'm also afraid he's talking it slow but ultimately want to have a ONS and ghost me. Maybe I should move on.

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Girl720 Member

Girl720

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Yeah, reading your original OP, you need to move on.

You don't want the same things.

And he doesn't seem too interested.

 

It is a bummer because we get along so well, in person and when we text, it's paragraphs, not just one sentence. We laugh for hours and I've never felt so comfortable with practically a stranger. Eeeh. It's time to get back to reality I guess.

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Girl720 Member

Girl720

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I don't understand why you're still concerned a month later. He doesn't seem to be showing much interest.

 

I just put my hopes in him because under my "attraction" list, physically, intellectually, and personality wise, he hits the jackpot. I'll back off before I actually fall for him.

Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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I'm also afraid he's talking it slow but ultimately want to have a ONS and ghost me. Maybe I should move on.

 

That is most likely exactly what will happen since it says his motives right on his profile and pretty much everything he has done verifies it. I think the reason he hasn't made a move is because you are sending the "Not that kind of girl" vibes to him so he is going slow.

 

He's cool being friends

 

but if a "short term relationship" comes of it that is great too.

 

He is not in the market for what you want imo.

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Girl720 Member

Girl720

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That is most likely exactly what will happen since it says his motives right on his profile and pretty much everything he has done verifies it. I think the reason he hasn't made a move is because you are sending the "Not that kind of girl" vibes to him so he is going slow.

 

He's cool being friends

 

but if a "short term relationship" comes of it that is great too.

 

He is not in the market for what you want imo.

 

Wow, I think you're right on.

 

Tbh, an actual friendship wouldn't bother me after a while, I just gotta take a moment and get it in my head he doesn't like me the way I wanted him to.

 

Thank you.

olivetree Established Member

olivetree

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Wow, I think you're right on.

 

Tbh, an actual friendship wouldn't bother me after a while, I just gotta take a moment and get it in my head he doesn't like me the way I wanted him to.

 

Thank you.

 

Sounds like torture.

 

Go find a guy that can give you it all.

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Girl720 Member

Girl720

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Sounds like torture.

 

Go find a guy that can give you it all.

 

Thank you.

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harrybrown Established Member

harrybrown

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most guys are not mind readers. I am not a mind reader.

 

If you want a kiss, or more of a relationship, let him know.

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jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

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Can I ask you how you'd feel if sex were involved, but he wished to stay unofficial?

 

In other words a friends with benefits scenario with the man question?

Purepony Established Member

Purepony

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You already sound desperate and that’s okay but I would say let it go before you invest more and then get let down.

 

It sounds like you are pulling teeth with this guy that you just met. These are the first stages and you shouldn’t be working on making things work it should come naturally and somewhat mutually.

 

Plus after one meeting ? Slow down and take it slower.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
  • Like 1
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Girl720 Member

Girl720

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Can I ask you how you'd feel if sex were involved, but he wished to stay unofficial?

 

In other words a friends with benefits scenario with the man question?

 

I haven't and wouldn't do Friends with Benefits with anybody.

Purrrfect Established Member

Purrrfect

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I’ve had dates just like yours. Don’t dwell on it. There are a lot of flakey people online. Lots of people don’t kids on first date.

 

Move on.

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CautiouslyOptimistic Established Member

CautiouslyOptimistic

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He said in his profile that he's interested in short term dating, which to me means "multi dating." And he proved that's what he wants by responding to your friend. Meanwhile, you're one of the women he's willing to multi-date, but you're not sending him signals that you want to take it further physically (do you flirt at all?) so he's being patient about that because he's not putting all his eggs in one basket and genuinely likes spending time with you.

 

Only you know if this works for you. It sounds like it doesn't because you want something more committed.

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joseb Established Member

joseb

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I haven't and wouldn't do Friends with Benefits with anybody.

 

Then you need to update your profile and remove "short term" and "friends" from it, as that's what your hinting at with those choices.

 

If you are looking for long term, say that.

 

And don't look at profiles that say short term/friends/hookups whatever.

 

This guy has very low interest. He will probably stick around in the hope of a fling.

 

And he is going to Colombia....mmmmmm

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winny Established Member

winny

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I just put my hopes in him because under my "attraction" list, physically, intellectually, and personality wise, he hits the jackpot. I'll back off before I actually fall for him.

 

Hmmmm.... how people end up building such illusions in 2 meetings.

winny Established Member

winny

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My girl friend has an OKCupid profile just for hookups and the guy I met came up for her, so she messaged him (to see if he would talk to anybody) and he replied & wanted to meet up with her. (Granted she doesn't put her real pic so he doesn't and will never know :confused: ). As for the "day dates", I told him I prefered to hang out while there was light the first times... for my own safety. Of course if things progressed, I'd like to go dancing and drinking... but I think I should date others if we're not on the same page. Thanks for your input!
]

 

Is it your friend or you yourself? :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

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