steenerz Posted August 26, 2005 Posted August 26, 2005 so i was talking to my bf today...and we have been kinda planning on seeing each other on labor day weekend (we're two hours away form each other, in college), and i was gonna drive there since he doesn't have a car...he's living in an apt. with his older brother and two friends...and after mentioning that weekend on the phone today he says, "i dunno if you can come...you're not allowed to..." I was like, what does that mean, and he said that his brother wasn't comofortable with it, and told him that he didn't like seeing his younger brother being flirtatious with his gf...umm... ok....and it just really hurts because i don't know when i can see him again...and if he really missed me, does it matter what his brother thinks? It's not like he doesn't live there either! And now I can't decide if I'm being insensitive to his older brother's feelings, or if the bf is.
Merin Posted August 26, 2005 Posted August 26, 2005 What? UNLESS his Brother pays ALL the freakin rent there, I cannot see why his opinion would even come into play! This doesn't even make any sense to me... while I can understand a Brother wanting to look out for his sibling, the fact is your Boyfriend is a Big Boy now and just like his Brother (I'll assume anyway) he has a healthy interest in a Girl (that being you) so now why in the hell would his brother have ANY issue with your BF being flirty with you his GF? Something doesn't sound right... So to answer your question... NO you are not being insensitive to his Brother and as far as I'm concerned your BF is being a wimp about this and needs to tell Big Brother to back the hell up!
kgal Posted August 26, 2005 Posted August 26, 2005 I think that if he lives there and pays rent, you should be allowed. It's pretty dumb that he won't let you come b'cuz of his brother. I think you should talk to him about this.
RecordProducer Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 His brother desires you! It would be best if you and your BF discussed peacefully what you should do about the situation. No matter how ridiculous it sounds, you have a problem: you can't visit your BF because of his brother. He has a problem with his brother being an idiot and his GF not being able to see him. Approach the subject with the desire to solve the problem and not to find out who's guilty. If he decides that he will listen to his brother, accept it the way it is. If you stand between him and his brother, you will be the one to lose. If you stay on aside and non-judgmental, you will win. His brother knew that you would get mad and hopes that you will start a war in which he will win, because no matter how right you might be in your statements against his brother, your BF will be hurt. Be clever and act as if you're not bothered by his demands. Just ask naively: "Okay, honey, well you suggest where we will be seeing each other. I will be okay with whatever you decide." That will disarm both him and his brother. It seems to me that he wants the two of you to break up.
AmberAriesMom Posted August 28, 2005 Posted August 28, 2005 Tell your bf to bugger off! He doesn't want to see you. Find someone else.
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