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Why I quit (for now)


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Posted

So after around 3 years of on and off OLD I have decided to quit...for now.

 

I went out with a girl I met on Tinder for 5 months, said we loved each other etc but she dumped me in November saying she wasn't happy and we didn't have much in common although the real reason as I see it was she wasn't emotoionally available/still had feelings for her ex.

 

Since then I have been on 3 first dates but none of them worked.

 

Girl 1: went on first date for drinks. Both had a great time. She said she wanted to see me again. Went a bit distant for a bit then did come for a second date. Kissed, she said she wanted to see me again. Then total distance. Tried to arrange a third date - she said she would let me know and didn't so I left it. She text me again after a week of NC. Talked for a bit then I asked her to meet up again - again got a 'maybe' type answer so left it. That was the end of that.

 

Girl 2: talked for a week then met for first date. She looked extremely different to her pictures. Wasn't attracted to her. Lovely girl but we both knew it wouldn't work so didn't speak again after the date.

 

Girl 3: went on first date last night - had a good time and a laugh but very different people. Thought it could be a possibility anyway for a second date so went for a kiss after trying to read signals - very resistant, awkward kiss. Haven't spoke since and on reflection it wouldn't work out either.

 

So today I deleted my Tinder and POF apps. I just don't think it's going to happen for me right now. I am coming to accept that life isn't going to work out with me married by 30 and planning kids. I can't force it any more and am unwilling to go on pointless dates just so I can feel less lonely for a little while.

 

Anyone else taking a break?

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Posted (edited)

hey at least you're getting dates, many on OLD don't even get that

Edited by alphamale
  • Like 2
Posted

He’s right ! I haven’t even had a message in a few weeks but I just go on maybe once a week for 5-10 minutes. I gave up too sweet nice it’s more like a mystery that a fun way to meet someone.

 

Maybe I’ll go in later and post pictures of a movie star just to see the reactions haha

Posted

At least you're not getting Ghanaian scammers who refuse to meet you in person but are trying to get a hand in your pocket.

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Posted
Maybe I’ll go in later and post pictures of a movie star just to see the reactions haha

 

hahahahahaha

Posted

When we feel the way you do yes it's time to take a break. I took many breaks in my 3,5 years online. Actually i was online 2 weeks then took a break 2 weeks...went back 2 weeks and off 2 weeks thats how i didn't burn myself and managed to not over expose myself.

Posted

I've had my fair share of struggles with OLD. It took me 10 first dates in 13 months to land a second date. But, I want to share my recent success with that one second date.

 

My date was so excited at the end of date two that she said again? I made plans for her to come to my town for date three, we live two hours apart.

 

We were texting last night and we both agreed we want to make time for each other at least once a week.

 

It's too early to see if this develops into a serious relationship, but there's some hope.

 

The biggest thing I'm learning is to give space. Me and my date don't text every day, but we do check in once every other day. Our time together is so worth it because we cherish our time together much more than our technological relationship.

 

So, take a break, but come back sooner rather than later.

Posted

3 is too lightweight...judging by these boards you're going to have to go on a lot more than that to find the connect. But nothing wrong with taking a breather if it's no longer enjoyable for you. That's a sensible thing to do.

Posted (edited)

Also, you're missing the Valentine's Day Dever spike that happens when a bunch of women desperate to not be alone on V-day get on there to look for dates. I am actually taking a break except for the dates I already have to avoid a V-day date. But I keeping my profiles up. Why not keep your profile up and then jump on in a little while and you'll have more matches in queue

Edited by Cookiesandough
Posted

I online dated for two years and reached the same point/feeling as you. One day I just didn’t want to do it anymore. If you feel this way definitely take a break. If you continue to online date while feeling this way, you won’t put the best version of you forward. Take a break, and when you feel optimistic again, get back out there. I recently ended a two year stint of not dating at all in September. It’s starting to get frustrating again, two mini two month romances that went nowhere, but I still have my optimism so I’m sticking with it.

Posted

Yeah it's time to take a break. I am doing the same. After many draining first dates where I felt zero connection, then brutal ghosting by someone I liked who led me to believe that we are at a start of a promising relationship, I am done.

 

I am going to stay off OLD for the entire year, possibly forever. I am trying to be more active socially so I don't get bored/lonely.

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