Few weeks ago I was hit with the “I’m not ready for a relationship, and now I’m lost.

[CarAndZam]

I guess I’m writing this to vent, and maybe for advice I guess? But you all probably won’t have any answers. Here to goes.

 

I’m 20 and I had my first dating experience last year. With this girl from my elementary school. We spoke to each other at the time but we found each other on social media and we we eventually talked and went on a date. In total, we on 7 date on the span of the 4 months. She has to take care of her brother a lot because her single mom is out of town a lot, so she couldn’t go out. But those dates were always worth the date.

 

Since it was my dating experience, I had a hard time making moves, so I never kissed her during those 7 dates. Only held her hand on the 7th (cringey I know but I was very inexperienced).

 

However sometime after the 7th date, we had this argument. She said some things that made me question this thing between us. I began to doubt us, so I dumped her. Didn’t want to do it, but I thought it was a good decision at the time.

 

However, I though she wouldn’t have reacted in a bad way. I thought she wasn’t interested in me anymore. Wrong. She sent me a long message next day telling how hurt she was and all this other stuff. How munched like me and how she always loved going out with me.

 

I did try to fix things, but the damage was done. I couldn’t. I had to accept that she was gone from my life. During this time, I began reflecting what I did wrong in this dating experience. Almost three months lateen, she contacts me, on New Years. Long message Apologizing for saying the things she said that made me doubt us, and that she wanted to talk in person.

 

We met at a park, and I explained to her what made me doubt us, and what went wrong and what I did wrong. We talked, concluded our faults in our “break ups or whatever. So then, there came the “what now” conversation. She said “I want to be with you so bad, but I’m afraid I won’t be enough (referring to the fact that she couldn’t go out with me enough, something I did mention when I dumped her), but we can be friends”.

 

Told her I didn’t want that, that being friends wouldn’t be possible between us. She agreed. Then I gave her this romantic hug for a while, then kissed her. Finally made a move ahah. Long story short, this led to us going in my backseat, and having this intense make out session and lots groping.

 

So we were obviously trying again. This time, we went out MUCH more than before. We must’ve gone out like 6-7 in the span of three weeks. I guess she convinced her mother to let her go out more or something.

 

Point is, we got much close than ever before. We were getting physical, we went out more, we talked more.

 

I thought everything was going well. She texted everyday. FIRST. She wouldn’t tell me stuff like “I miss you so much” “whenever our dates end, I already can’t wait to see you”, “I think I’m falling in love for you”. We would plan dates for one day and she would change plans by changing the date to the day before or something.

 

We were doing very well.

 

All of a sudden, we have this great date two Monday’s ago. I had fun, but she started feeling a bit weird. Told me she’s probably going to get her period soon. Didn’t think much of it. She was acting a bit “not so touchy”, but she was touchy, just not as much. I understood. That date ended well. I dropped her off, but we made out a bit in front of her house. Lots of making out. When I said goodbye, she grabbed my face and kissed me excessively. And I grabbed her back and did the same. Those were our last moments together. Romantic. Full of giggling too.

 

Yet, the next day, she hits me with the “I need to tell you something”

 

To paraphrase, she said “I’ve been lying to you and myself these past couple weeks”. I feel like I’m not ready for a relationship. I don’t want to be in a relationship with you right now. Please understand”.

I just asked her to be brutally honest, and tell em why she was really dumping me. She said, I’m not ready and that’s it. I’m really being honest.

Realizing I will not get the truth out, I just said, if that’s the way it is, then goodbye. And that was it.

 

Not contact. It’s been two weeks. She unfollowed on social media right after that convo.

 

I’m just sad because I thought things we going great. I’ll never know why I was dumped. Why I wasn’t enough. I’ll never know if it was me, like if I wasn’t interning enough, or if maybe there was someone else the whole time. Or if it was something I said.

 

I’m sorry for the long post.

[harrybrown]

maybe you will never know.

 

but time to move on.

 

she could have another boyfriend, but it could be that she is not ready for a relationship.

 

walk thru your pain, exercise, breath and do something fun with your friends.

 

good thing you were not married and had kids with her when she decided she did not want to be in the relationship.

 

You are young, try again with someone else.