Dumpers, what made you come back/reconcile after a long period of time?

[Emmafive]

I was talking to my parents this evening about relationships and breakups. My father came into the apartment while my mother was at work, gathered his things, and left. He left her for a year and half without so much as a peep. He 'ghosted her', which is arguably one of the worst ways to breakup with someone. Most would think people someone like that would never return to their previous partner given how he broke up with her but clearly, he did. He won't speak about that breakup-even with my mother. No one really knows why he left and what made him come back so I'm curious about long-term breakupsI've broken up with someone but I came back after about 3 months. I would think the longer you're apart the easier it is to just move on/lose feelings.

 

So those who had a long breakup what made you come back after 6+ months? The more details the better!

[Jj66]

For me. Nothing. I would never take an ex back unless the reason we broke up was distance and that problem got solved.

[Emmafive]

For me. Nothing. I would never take an ex back unless the reason we broke up was distance and that problem got solved.

 

Have you ever wanted to marry any of your exes?

[I'veseenbetterlol]

I def didn't take any of my exes back. Granted I don't consider him an ex, but he was the 1st guy after my 1st love that I really connected w/. He ended up pulling the "I'm not ready" BS and left me hanging. He messaged me after 3 months and honestly I think he saw that I was something special. He hurt me quite a bit, so I never took him back.

[Jj66]

Have you ever wanted to marry any of your exes?

 

Yes. Married twice. Engaged twice. I don't break up without good reason.

[Young mind]

From my limited experience and posters here, they only come back when the next relationship/rebound didn't work, some for sex, but let's imagine that the new relationship was all they were looking for, whatever form that is, I'm not really speaking about quality but the needs of the dumper, they won't come back, they will only hold on to it for as long as it holds.

 

I really don't believe in reconciliations if they were no kids or a marriage, once the breakup happens everything changes, you can never see each other in the same light anymore

[ConfusedLuke]

From my limited experience and posters here, they only come back when the next relationship/rebound didn't work, some for sex, but let's imagine that the new relationship was all they were looking for, whatever form that is, I'm not really speaking about quality but the needs of the dumper, they won't come back, they will only hold on to it for as long as it holds.

 

I really don't believe in reconciliations if they were no kids or a marriage, once the breakup happens everything changes, you can never see each other in the same light anymore

 

Obviously people's experiences vary but I am curious whether the rebound or the new relationship length matters.

 

Say the relationship was childhood sweethearts for ten years, grew stale/unromantic, she felt she lost love/attraction, found another guy and started dating straight away - if that lasts over a year would it be much less likely that she would ever consider vs a split after six months?

 

I'm gathering the two critical factors are reasons for the BU and whether any sort of contact was maintained post-BU but I'm interested also about the time element of the new relationship against the length of the old relationship.

 

I wouldn't imagine someone in a one month relationship who then starts going out with another for a month would be more likely to return but maybe there is no relationship between the relationship length and likelihood of return.

 

Maybe the month long relationship dumper is just as likely to come back because there might have been 'unfinished business' whereas the dumper in the LTR may never give it a second thought because they feel that chapter has been closed.

[Young mind]

Obviously people's experiences vary but I am curious whether the rebound or the new relationship length matters.

 

Say the relationship was childhood sweethearts for ten years, grew stale/unromantic, she felt she lost love/attraction, found another guy and started dating straight away - if that lasts over a year would it be much less likely that she would ever consider vs a split after six months?

 

I'm gathering the two critical factors are reasons for the BU and whether any sort of contact was maintained post-BU but I'm interested also about the time element of the new relationship against the length of the old relationship.

 

I wouldn't imagine someone in a one month relationship who then starts going out with another for a month would be more likely to return but maybe there is no relationship between the relationship length and likelihood of return.

 

Maybe the month long relationship dumper is just as likely to come back because there might have been 'unfinished business' whereas the dumper in the LTR may never give it a second thought because they feel that chapter has been closed.

 

A month old relationship or few months is nothing compared to a couple of years, in a month you barely know each other, all you know are the fun things you wanna do, where you wanna travel to and what not, you get the point, it is a new excitement and experience which usually no one turns away from,

 

Whether it be a one- month dumper or a 10 year dumper, something has changed, whether it be 'love' attraction, euphoria, or maybe someone else, I don't really believe postBU contact affects this outcome in anyway, the decision to come back, although we can never really know their minds , I believe lies in the point that the next relationship wasn't fulfilling, it doesn't mean yours was better, only that the next wasn't as they expected, then they are left with few choices , who do they run back to?, the dumpee who cried their eyes out, its familiar territory and they can as well jump back in.

 

Reconciliation do happen, no dispute, however I believe in majority of the cases , it is only delaying the inevitable breaking up for good