kumonile Posted February 3, 2018 Posted February 3, 2018 I have posted on here a few times in the past as I believe talking about things with people not involved in the relationships is extremely helpful. For background information, my boyfriend and I were dating for about 8 months when I discovered he was inappropriately snap chatting a girl (someone I also know) and they made out once and he never spoke to her again. There is evidence of this never speaking again, etc. Background on this girl, they had went on a single date a year before and that same night her and I and a bunch of friends went to a bar where she stated she saw him and that was end of conversation. He didn't pursue her after. Fast forward to when him and I started dating, he mentioned it to her (they worked together at the time) and she said to him 'That's so strange because she is the one that told me I shouldn't date you and that you were a horrible person'. Now she is my friends ex and he has mentioned before that she is quite manipulative and flirting and that's why the ended things. I guess this idea that somehow I prevented them from dating bothered him and they started chatting more, etc. made out once and then he realized it was wrong? They stopped talking but I found out. In the end, I ended up sticking around, we had a rough go for a few months but I eventually forgave him. Things now (a year later), are better than they ever have been. Our communication, how we get along and just everything is much better than even before anything happened. I have forgiven him and mostly trust him again in many aspects of our relationship but there are still times where I wake up from a bad dream about it crying and then basically accuse him in a sense. He is working nights so I'll see he is on snapchat and freak out, feeling he is hiding something. He always calms me down and says it's not my fault and it will take me time and is always willing to 'show me' evidence that he is nothing to hide even though I don't accept because I don't think that's healthy. Has anyone ever been in this situation? What did you do to overcome that 'last obstacle' for lack of better words? xo If not, any mindfulness advice. I have made my decisions and stand by everything but need help on how to just accept everything sometimes without it spiraling out of control
ExpatInItaly Posted February 3, 2018 Posted February 3, 2018 Just to clarify, he made out with her while he was in a relationship with you? How long ago did you make this discovery?
Author kumonile Posted February 3, 2018 Author Posted February 3, 2018 Just to clarify, he made out with her while he was in a relationship with you? How long ago did you make this discovery? Yes, this was a year ago now and I discovered it a month after it happened or so.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 3, 2018 Posted February 3, 2018 Yes, this was a year ago now and I discovered it a month after it happened or so. Oh, dear. You made a decision to stay with a guy who was dishonest and unfaithful. Why is that? Really reflect on that. That is what you need to remember when you feel insecure or upset. Something is obviously keeping you there, so you need to ask yourself if it's really worth it when you feel so hurt by this. Speaking from experience, you will never quite see him the same. Even if it was an isolated episode, and even though time has passed, you can't undo that pain completely. That unfortunately has become part of your history together.
smackie9 Posted February 3, 2018 Posted February 3, 2018 Ya I dumped my ex.....somethings can't be emotionally undone.
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